The Best Isn't Always Reality
It's okay to have some time to go into a retrospect and decide what you really want to be and where. Spending quite some time envisaging what it should look like may not take you anywhere immediately, but it will toughen your grit and prepare you for whatever you may meet on the way.
Like Jay Z said in his song "Forever Young", we "hoping for the best but expecting the worst". The thing is, we can hope all we want for the best but at the end of the day, what will happen will happen. So while we hope for the best, we should also endeavor to reserve some expectation for the worst.
It reduces the shock and level of surprise you get when the worst happens as you were already expecting it somehow.
It's like having a sick father or mother in the hospital down with cancer. We know how terminal those kind of diseases could be. Thus, while hoping for total recovery of loved ones, expecting the worst and staying prepared will save you from a lot of heartbreak.