The Nightly News Translated Into Disturbingly Frank Speech - CoronaVirus Special Edition (SATIRE)
A special Coronavirus news update from BNN...
Negative Propagandist (grinning into camera): Good evening, mind-controlled tax slaves. This is a special Covid-19 update from BNN.
The head of the USSA mafia today announced from the White House that any business that remains open will be violently shut down by order-followers with badges in strange costumes. This Satanic control freak added that the best way to combat the Coronavirus was with more violence and coercion, the same so-called “solution” posed by the violent cult called government for every problem...ever. He also said that by staying indoors, not getting fresh air, stressing out, and having less food due to unemployment would help billions of people worldwide stay healthier, and anyone who contradicts this statement is a threat to national security.
Statist Tool (stern, grim face): A moral relativist from the extortion-funded think tank Charlatan Association for Global Enslavement (CAGE) proposed that billions of tax slaves get a covid vaccine with smart nanoparticles. She stated that the vaccine would not only combat the coronavirus but would also create a permanent send/receive link between each tax slave and the violent cabal of mind-controlled government parasites. She said this would be a great leap forward for the global enslavement agenda and thinks she deserves a raise. She would neither confirm nor deny that she owns shares in the pharmaceutical company that already manufactured billions of those vaccines.
Negative Propagandist: A white-coated high priest of pseudo-science did his share of fear-mongering today by stating that this illness known as Covid-19 might be the worst thing to happen to humanity ever, or at least in the past year. Responding to a logical thinker who posted on the internet a comparison of the Covid-19 cases/death total to the annual flu cases/death total, which showed that the Coronavirus is about as dangerous as a bad flu and nothing to panic about, this well-paid stooge commented with a harsh voice that anyone using logic and not following the violent government gang’s mandates should be gagged, tarred, feathered, tasered, and thrown in a cage.
Statist Tool: Yesterday, in the violently controlled geographical territory known as California, an extortion-funded authoritarian known as the “governor” announced that all stores selling toilet paper and other paper products that could be used as toilet paper will now have a fleet of armed drones watching these supplies. He also stated that anyone who thinks this is a grossly inflated over reaction will be sneezed on and thrown in a cage.
Negative Propagandist: A virus denier who claimed to have cured herself from Covid-19 with natural supplements such as Bio-active Silver Hydrosol, Eucalyptus Oil, and Oregano Oil has been banned from the internet. A smug spokesperson for the extortion funded agency known as the FDA stated that this virus denier was a threat to the growth of the medical mafia and the government mafia in general. He also said that a manhunt is now underway by multiple extortion-funded alphabet agencies, and they vow to swiftly tackle, beat, and pillage the individual who dared to solve their own problem.
Statist Tool: A New York City man who sneezed in public was gunned down by an extortion-funded drone yesterday. He died instantly and two bystanders were injured as well. When asked if this measure to contain the virus was extreme, a city hall mob boss angrily stated that sneezing, coughing, and sweating in public were extreme, so just shutup and let him and his gang do whatever they want, no matter how evil.
Negative Propagandist: Well, that’s all the fear mongering for tonight’s show. Stay tuned for more mind-control programming. Goodnight!
Thanks for your time and attention!
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