Your Owners Want You Afraid of Germs: A George Carlin Mashup

in #comedylast month

I imagine during these dark times that a lot of people are comforting themselves with a trip down prophetic memory lane by watching some George Carlin, R.I.P. I'm sure we wish he were alive to provide us with words of wisdom. But all we can do is honour his memory and try to change the world so at least he didn't die in vain. We must be our heroes now. What would George say about the times we're living in? Well he kind of already said it all, so smarten up and learn a lesson you lazy cock suckers! Sorry, not sorry, just trying to honour his memory by emulating his style; you could try it some time you apathetic assholes, lol! It's called tough love, dumbass ;) Please enjoy the George Carlin mashup and tribute.


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"What we have now is a completely neurotic population obsessed with security and safety and crime and drugs and cleanliness and hygiene and germs… there’s another thing… germs. Where did this sudden fear of germs come from in this country? Have you noticed this? The media, constantly running stories about all the latest infections – salmonella, e-coli, hanta virus, bird flu – and Americans, they panic easily so now everybody’s running around, scrubbing this and spraying that and overcooking their food and repeatedly washing their hands, trying to avoid all contact with germs. It’s ridiculous and it goes to ridiculous lengths."


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"Besides, what do you think you have an immune system for? It’s for killing germs! But it needs practice… it needs germs to practice on. So listen! If you kill all the germs around you, and live a completely sterile life, then when germs do come along, you’re not gonna be prepared."


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You are all Diseased by George Carlin, illustrated by After Skool.

"I never get infections, I don’t get them, I don’t get colds, I don’t get flu, I don’t get headaches, I don’t get upset stomach, you know why? Cause I got a good strong immune system and it gets a lot of practice. My immune system is equipped with the biological equivalent of fully automatic military assault rifles with night vision and laser scopes...they don’t fuck around!"

Transcript Source: You are All Diseased by George Carlin

What would Carlin say about the world literally suffocating themselves and running around like clowns in hazmat suits? What would he say about this neurotic idiocracy we find ourselves living in? Well, he might be happy for the social distancing because we're all such a bunch of brainless morons, but I'd imagine he'd say something like:

"But there’s a reason. There’s a reason. There’s a reason for this. There’s a reason that education sucks. And it’s the same reason that it will never ever, EVER be fixed. It’s never going to get any better. Don’t look for it. Be happy with what you got. BECAUSE THE OWNERS OF THIS COUNTRY DON’T WANT THAT. I’m talking about the real owners now. The real owners. The big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Forget the politicians… they’re irrelevant. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. YOU DON’T.
YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. YOU HAVE OWNERS. THEY OWN YOU. THEY OWN EVERYTHING! They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations. They’ve long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, and city halls. They got the judges in their back pocket. And they own all the big media companies so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear!"


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After Skool

"THEY’VE GOT YOU BY THE BALLS! They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying to get what they want. Well, we know what they want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.But I’ll tell you what they don’t want. They don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don’t want well-informed. Well educated people capable of critical thinking. They’re not interested in that. That doesn’t help them. That’s against their interest. That’s right. They don’t want people who are smart enough to sit around the kitchen table and figure out how badly they’re getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. They don’t want that. You know what they want? They want OBEDIENT WORKERS."

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Steve Cutts

"OBEDIENT WORKERS! People who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork and just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits. The end of overtime and the vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it. And now, they’re coming for your SOCIAL SECURITY MONEY. They want your fucking retirement money. They want it back! So they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street! And you know something, they’ll get it… they’ll get it ALL from you sooner or later… because they own this fucking place!


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"It’s a BIG CLUB…AND YOU AIN’T IN IT! You and I are not in the big club! By the way, it’s the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. All day long beating you over the head. And their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy… The table is tilted, folks. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. Good, honest, hard-working people. White collar. Blue collar. It doesn’t matter what color shirt you have on."


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"Good, honest, hard-working people continue… these are people of modest means....continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who don’t give a fuck about them. THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU! THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL. AT ALL. AT ALL! Yeah. You know. And nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. That’s what the owners count on. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that’s being jammed up their assholes every day. Because the owners of this country know the truth… It’s called the American dream. Because you have to be asleep to believe it."

Trascript Source: The American Dream (Big Club) by George Carlin. An exerpt from Life is Worth Losing | Watch the full clip here


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Maybe you need to try the "diary game" or "world of xpilar" topics, instead of talking about psychology and/or philosophy?!