Comedy Open Mic - Round 10

in #comedyopenmic3 years ago (edited)

Welcome to the Tenth week of The Comedy Open Mic Contest.

Please read the contest rules here

Credit to our Dandy (@dandesign86) for creating this logo for us

Rules for Judges

  • Contest will run for a minimum of 12 weeks, and will continue to run as long as it is sustainable.
  • Prizes to be sent out within 24hrs of contest round closing
  • @comedyopenmic will announce start and end of every round (approx 5am GMT Fridays, this will be adjusted if needed)
  • Judges will do their best to review all entries
  • Every effort will be made for @comedyopenmic to upvote all entries
  • A big thank you to @take5 and @diebitch for their time and effort in upvoting everybody and ensuring @comedyopenmic spread the upvote love in round 9
  • A special thank you to our wonderful guest judges in round 8 @diebitch and @flipstar your time is greatly appreciated.


@dj123 / @comedyopenmic
@holybranches / @comedyopenmic

If you see any of these guys around please upvote and thank them. It is because of their support that this contest is able to keep functioning.

Do you want to be a judge?

Read all the entries, comment on contestant posts. Leave a positive trail of happiness and laughter behind you like you fart laughing gas and we will notice. Our most active curators and contestants will be asked to join us as guest judges on a week to week basis.


Prizes (Have again increased!!)

  • Court Jester will get 45SBD

    • Court Jester will be chosen by the judges
  • People's champion will get 1-10SBD (Payout depends on value, higher value post will get smaller prize. Remaining value to be handed out to other entrants).
    • People's champion is whoever has highest $ payout at competition close
  • Top 10 prize pool is 40Steem

    • Contestant selected for Punchy's Top 10 will receive 4Steem each.
  • Lucky Door Prize will be 10SBD
    • 5 lucky contestants will get a 2SBD each as a bonus prize.
  • Chuck Norris Award
    • 5 SBD given to the best curator / commenter

This week's prize pool 70SBD + 40 Steem



A number of people have put themselves forward as curators of content to encourage more entries.

@carlgnash (Also really funny, we want more entries from him)
@punchline (Still hoping George Carlin comes back to life)
@steemwizards (No idea who he is but he's good fun)
@nonameslefttouse (Make it a good story to get his attention)
@trafalgar (Include #punchline tag to grab his attention)
@bitfiend (We just like him, dunno why)
@diebitch (Don't be mean, or she'll roast you)
If you see any of these guys around please upvote and thank them. It is because of their support that this contest is able to keep functioning.




A big thank you to @ilt-yodith, @idikuci, @steemmatt, @dandesign86, who were very generous in donating additional funds towards prizes.
@idikuci - 194SBD , @dj123 - 122SBD + 5 Steem, @punchline - 80 Steem + 10SBD, @take5 - 53 SBD, @dandesign86 and @redlipstick - 32SBD, @ilt-yodith - 14.891SBD + 10.899 Steem, @amirtheawesome1 / @yesaye - 20SBD, @nonameslefttouse - 10SBD, @thedailylaugh - 10SBD, @meesterboom - 10SBD, @dreemit - 5SBD, @thevillan - 5SBD, @sisygoboom - @5SBD, @belemo - 3SBD, @steemmatt - 3SBD, @jedi-won - 2SBD, @bitfiend - 2SBD, @diebitch - 2SBD, @lunasilver 0.007 Steem


Due to New Delegations from @ngc, @groovatti, @cemke, @amirtheawesome1 and @yesaye we now have over 40,000 SP delegated to @comedyopenmic

@ngc - 20,000SP, @roelandp - 15,556SP, @idikuci - 2,000SP, @dandesign86 / @bluetower - 500SP, @dj123 - 500SP, @take5 - 500SP, @flipstar - 300SP, @mightpossibly - 250SP, @yesaye - 162SP, @jasonschick - 125SP, @diebitch - 100SP, @amirtheawesome1 - 100SP, @ubongj - 50SP, @abh12345 - 50SP, @cemke - 40SP, @bitfiend - 35SP, @holybranches - 10SP, @groovatti - 10SP

Please send any donations and SP delegations directly to @comedyopenmic. The more funding we get, the longer it will be possible to run the contest and upvote all you hilarious people.

Important Information

If you see our judges, curators or sponsors comments or posts, please upvote and encourage them. They are giving up their time to help this contest, so if you see these guys around, say hello and give them an upvote:

@roelandp, @ngc, @comedyopenmic, @dj123, @nonameslefttouse, @dandesign86 / @bluetower, @carlgnash, @take5, @ilt-yodith, @punchline, @steemwizards, @trafalgar, @meesterboom, @dreemit, @redlipstick, @thedailylaugh, @flipstar, @steemmatt, @bitfiend, @thevillan, @jedi-won, @belemo, @jasonshick, @diebitch, @ubongj, @bitfiend, @holybranches, @lunasilver, @cemke, @amirtheawesome1.

We are all trying to make this a successful contest to raise participation in #funny and attract more comedians and aspiring comedians to Steem.

This post marks the end of Round 9 and the start of Round 10 of Comedy Open Mic.

Within 24hrs of this post, another post will go out marking the prize recipients. Sorry about the double post, but we need to make sure we have time to enjoy all the entries.

Come join our discord channel and just say hi.

Are you Artistically inclined? Join in the Logo and Banner design contest and win some cash.


If you believe someone has submitted a plagiarised entry, please let the judges know. You can let us know on the discord channel or as a reply to one of our comments. As long as contestants make an effort to produce original content and provide sources for other material we will be happy to accept the entry.

Good Luck and Happy Steeming!!

Thank you to @matytan for the great banner


Sir Muxxy Rides Again.png

HERE is my submission. I hope it tickles some funnybones. Good luck everyone.

Cry 'Havoc', and let slip the dogs of war.

Woof, woof bitches!

On a less apocalyptic note, has anyone tried to do some comedy-themed outreach via twitter etc.? The Melbourne Comedy festival is on at the moment (saw Marcel Blanch-de Wilt last night - still recovering), so it just occured to me that a lot of Aussie standup comedians might be a bit more active on social media than usual.

Seems like a no-brainer, because most of these people - the ones performing in the small clubs, not the big venues, could use a bit of extra cash...

We are always looking at ways of reaching people outside steem to bring them in. We are in the process of developing a reddit and twitter presence to try to bring more people in. If you have a idea on how to reach more people we'd love to hear it.

I'm too sleep deprived for any more bright ideas today - not that contacting comedians on twitter is rocket surgery or anything.

rocket surgery

daem that's some advance wank concept you got there, come meet us in the #marketing channel in discord to hand job....ahem mean hash out the brain farts....i mean precision darts

I do 3d animation of the comedy variety, video edit all that jazz, i could do up a couple videos for you or something let me know , cheers

Absolutely that would be really cool and greatly appreciated. Hit us up on discord and we can talk if you have time.


you could come over to the discord dungeon and have everyone wank over this golden idea. cheers Dougy

Here is my entry for Comedy Open Mic Round 10: "I'm Too Busy!".

Shit, you are really into college boys, huh? Whatever keeps you young, brother.

Whooosh! That was the sound of that joke going over your head!

Oh, there was a joke?

Thanks for putting this on.

Here I go again. Let's see if this fucker can gain traction.

I'd like to thank the Academy for their consideration.

Come all Indonesian steemian join in Comedy Open Mic, do not feel comedian if not participate in this contest. Ha ha.

Listen to this Indonesian man @ all

I can't. I'm not Indonesian. I wish he had addressed Canadians as well. Sad Face.

Excellent, I'm going to prepare my entry!!!

A big hello to everyone, this is my entry #1 for round 10 :)

This is really picking up Steem (pun intended) will get an entry in this week and also try and grab that Chuck Norris award. is it possible to win two prizes?

We try keep it it one prize per person but it is possible to win chuck norris and win a prize for competing.

Wonderful, let's start moving those neurons to do something funny for this round, good luck to all ...., the prizes are great!

its so amazing platform of comedy..really great
thanks for great work

Who let the crazies out? @comedyopenmic did

another great Comedy Open Mic round ,no dout its so enjoyable .
really great pleasant .i love

Fcuk! More prizes! Massive improvement! Go team!

Not feel more than two months contest #comedyopenmic.
Hopefully more success and this contest will continue.
Thank you very much for this happiness

here we come again round 10 comedy open mic i m excited to share another funny stories to make us laugh..thank you curators for your undying support to this contest.

Best of luck everyone go go go go...... And make us luck 😀

no dout great comedy

Here's my entry, I've called it Moon Noobs

Thanks for the nomination @lucygarrod

Smart post.

I'm still too afraid to buy cryptocurrency. I was going to buy Steem when I first got on here, but don't trust all of the whales to do the right thing. I see way too much abuse of the system and until that cools down, I can't justify investing what little spare cash I have in it.

Hehe, I was for years man - then I just watched video after video, read more and more to understand it then I just thought, screw it, I'll take the plunge and went for it.

I wouldn't buy anything that you can get for free like steem, musicoin or others by earning through content creation. Otherwise yea, you do get abuse of the system.

Well, for fuck sake. I didn't know that you had to leave this page. I've just been checking out these posts on here and then noticed other posts that are carrying the round ten title that aren't on here.

Don't I feel like a dolt. That explains so much about the last times I entered.

Do we have to make a seperate post for entries? All the memes posted has confused me

I don't know what you mean. I thought that the entry link had to be posted here, so I thought that these were all the entries. They aren't. The comedyopenmic tag and then click "new" will take you to the entries.

Here is my submission, hope it makes you laugh, thanks for putting on the contest and @profanereviews for sending me this way with his nomination... how-3-people-from-my-family-peed-on-a-friend-of-mine-in-a-week

Help me!! Open mic has turned my peaceful blog into a riot. LOL

This contest is great. I have been looking for a place to get some laughs here and this is the place to be. Best of laughs.

Lots of laughs to be had in here, as always. Here is my entry for this week.

Insightful limerick :D

Thank you. Funny thing is, it's sort of autobiographical. I remember laughing very very hard at a mate of mine who actually had this happen to him. :-D He was naive enough to tell me about it, too. LOL

Haha, silly man


When your natural sex instinct suddenly kicks in

That is outrageous testosterone.

That's funny. My dolls used to rape me. I'm tougher now because of it.

Dropping mine here. I couldn't find anything to write about.

How to Win at Anything!

guys, this is going great.
this is amazing.

The competition is very big and really very impressive
I hope to be of participation and to be from the judiciary
Special military manufacture

What? Are the judges here manufacturing special military? Fuck, I knew this was too good to be true.

How are they doing it, brainwashing us with promises of riches if we get the world preoccupied with laughing? Come on, you have to tell us.

This is a good comedy place.massive improvement go them. best of luck..

Why not join us? Put in an entry and get upvotes and maybe some prizes.

I am already competing in the Round 10, luck to all the clowns!

This is such a great initiative! There is far too little comedy in the Steemit community. I know that this competition will find a comfortable home here. Fantastic idea! Thanks to you and all of the generous supporters for getting this going!

I want to participate again this time

My submission for Round 10. Good luck to everyone else taking part!

This is my second entry, I hope you have fun and still enjoy all the contents


Hi, guys from the comedy open mic, here's my joke, I hope you like it and let me have your vote! = D


thanks @comedyopenmic @dj123 and everyone who makes this contest every week!

Thank you for the opportunity

I keep saying I'm not good at humor, but I got persuaded to enter again anyway.

Here's my entry #1 for week #10: "Scientists say Uranus smells bad"

I really commend the effort of @comedyopenmic and the #team for making steemit fun filled while rewarding people in the process

I'll make my Comedy Open Mic entry ASAP. But at the moment...... Good Morning:

Ha, someone ought to slap a bumper stinker on it that warns about "Following Too Closely!"