Comedy Open Mic Round #13: Vroooom Vroooom!
Since I had such a blast participating in COM #10 I decided to try my luck once again byt writing a short story inspired by a prompt from TWB workouts. The prompt was to make a story of 500 words or less about someone surviving an accident, and I wanted to link that to a baby/toddler in a daycare. That's when things got completely out of hand and I decided to make it almost as absurd of my Aussie conversation. Enjoy!
I love this new car. It’s so big and fast. Much faster than the bike the girl next to me plays with. I crawl towards her and push her bike out of my way. I’m playing on this carpet. She’s blocking the path of my car. The girl starts to cry. I push her a little further away to get some more space.
“Vroooooooom!” My car is really fast now. I crawl across the house. My hands are slipping. I’m losing control. The car is too fast! My hands let go of the car as it crashes into the wall. I start to cry, but there’s nobody around to help me.
“Bablidobadiaa!” I scream and wave my arms in the air for attention. I look around to find someone who can help me fix my car. The girl with the bike is still crying. Next to her there’s a boy in his diapers playing with blocks. Four other babies still in their bunks. I sigh and crawl to my car. I take all the pieces to the guy with his blocks. With both arms stretched I hold it in front of his face. I wait a moment for him to accept my offer and give me a brand new car. The boy looks at me with his big blue eyes and frowns.
“Googoo gaaagaaa googooo gaaggaaa!” He pushes my car out of his face and takes another block.
He won’t get away with this. “Babababababab gagagagagagaga dadadadadadadadada!” I take the block out of his hands and throw it away as far as I can. The boy looks at me. I show him my car.
“Vrooooom!” I place the pieces in front of him on the ground. “Vrooooooooom!”
The boy takes my car and throws it across the carpet. My eyes are wet as the pieces shatter all over the floor. I look at the boy and slap him in the face. The boy falls over and starts to cry. I slap him once more in the balls. Two hands grab me by my armpits and put me on a chair.
“Bad @diebitch! You can’t slap other children! How many times do I have to tell you that? No more playtime for you!”
She can’t do this. I want my car. I start bashing my hands on the chair and scream as loud as I can. My throat hurts.
Suddenly an ice cream van crashes into the building.
“Vroooom vrooom mothertruckers!”, and everyone got a free ice cream.
Thanks for passing by, see you next time!