Be a cruel father
I once read a report that a primary school organized students to attend a summer camp to experience life in the countryside. The father of a student was afraid that his child could not bear it, so he asked for leave and rode far behind the school team. In the evening, when the teacher checked the shop, he found a man under the bed. He called out to see that it was the student's father. The father said that the first time the child went away, he was worried that he would fall out of bed at night. This made the teacher laugh and cry. This is not to love children, but to harm them, to make them lose the ability to live independently and the courage to face setbacks.
Parents' love for their children can be divided into big and small ones. The kind of love that is afraid of not being well managed and tied up with children is small and narrow, while the love that takes the initiative to let children endure more hardships, experience more, develop a sound personality and independent survival ability is grand and broad.
Turgenev, a famous Russian writer in the 19th century, said, "do you want to be a happy person? First of all, learn to bear hardships. Those who can bear hardships can endure all misfortunes, and there is no predicament that can't escape. " In order to make children happy in the future, parents should take the initiative to let children learn to bear hardships.
##(1) Hardship education starts from childhood
Some parents think that the child is still young, there is no need to educate him in this respect, and when he is older, the child will naturally know what suffering is. Some experts have pointed out that there is no necessary relationship between consciously cultivating children's ability to endure hardships and their age; on the contrary, if we can instill the idea of fearing hardship into children when they are young, it will have a positive impact on their future growth. For example, when a child is young, he develops his ability to pack things and organize things by himself. Let them do something challenging appropriately.
##(2) Integrate hardship into daily life
Hardship education is not a serious way to say to children: "today, I will let you taste the taste of hardship." This kind of hard education is meaningless. The correct way is to integrate hardship education into daily life, without children's knowledge. For example, no matter in life or study, parents should never arrange for their children to take care of themselves.
(3) Suffering is not equal to being abused
To make children suffer is not to make them suffer. Some parents know the benefits of hardship, they "force" their children to attend some "hardship" summer camps, regardless of whether the children are willing to. Parents' coercion will make children realize that suffering is a kind of punishment given by their parents, which will strengthen their "negative consciousness". Therefore, the child's endurance is reduced to the minimum, which is equivalent to failure before going out.
The methods of "tiger mother", "wolf father" and "Eagle father" are not enough to learn. Parents should first assess their children's ability to bear hardships, and then teach them how to bear hardships. They should respect their children's wishes instead of forcing them to do so.