When an accusation is really an excusation.
On interpersonal dynamics and seeing through compromised integrity:
In my half-sleep in the morning, I understood that sometimes accusations are really excusations.
You'll know the difference when you have apologized for the hurt the other person is blaming you for, but they don't forgive you, instead they stay angry with you with dedication.
That means it wasn't a real hurt they were carrying around and needed acknowledgement for, it was an excuse. Got you!
In this case the blame on you is used as an excuse not to face their own emotional responsibility for some underlying issue.
So that's an excusation instead of an accusation.
I found the semblance between the words striking. With the ex-cusation the person blaming you ex-cludes him or her self from any emotional responsibility.
The best thing to do here is to realise that we can never have more responsibility for other peoples hurt then what is reasonable. And that someone holding on to a grudge is always projecting. We have no further responsibility then to say we're sorry and do our best. And that's enough! At least it should be. If it's not then the other person has an underlying issue that they are trying to avoid dealing with.
And some issues are best left where they need to be solved.
(picture at the top found on: https://www.sydneycriminallawyers.com.au/)