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RE: Shut your mouth and let him talk!

Hey @poetrybyjeremy! Thank you for your response, however I'm not sure what to make of your comments. Having another point of view isn't about blaming, I'm sure you can appreciate there is a lot more to this story than mentioned in my post, so let's not jump to conclusions. I see you make the point that men have to speak up more - I think they try to but they have learnt to shut up and put up with behaviour that if their female "partner" were males, (I'm not referring to gay partners) they would deal with it differently, maybe use language, verbal and non verbal that only a male would understand. I don't see a problem by referring to the man and woman "as a man/woman of the house" because that's their position, not their roles. I would argue we are different and are not equal (the man has a penis and the woman has a vagina - get it!)

Hmmm..I don't think society see our roles as equal, we don't have equal pay, equal rights etc., but if you mean the male and female roles are equal in the home, I'd say that's a subjective view. But that's my view, and I respect your right to have a say on the subject. By the way, have you thought about writing a piece on the man/woman gender roles? It seems you've had good/bad experiences in this area which us ladies can learn from. If ever you decide to, I'll be happy to stop by and offer a point of view. Peace.

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I am not saying you are blaming your friend, but the tone of voice does give that off. It is probably a cultural difference between you and I, so what you are saying and what I am reading are somewhat different.

I know, in any relationship, it is better to target the 'communication' or the 'relationship' as that is faulty, rather than the man or woman. Unfortunately, sometimes you can do your best to make your partner feel at home and feel loved and so on, but that does not translate to fixing the issues.

In our societies, the roles aren't really equal, but our speech and behaviour continues to reciprocate that. In my society, I know that mothers are seen like they are necessary to nurture a child, and that brings resistance to women working. Some mothers are made to feel guilty for having a career, because they think that if they become housewives, they would be better mothers. With these ideologies, then, at home, the mothers will see themselves as more important than the fathers, and the fathers will reciprocate that thinking and will feel left out. Luckily, I was grown in a household where my father did the laundry and cooking and cleaning whenever he could help out, although he did work, so it still was my mother's main role (she had quit working because she loves taking care of family). As someone who is gay, I realise how flawed the gender roles are. Some people would think a mother is necessary for a child to grow up, but then how do single-fathers do it? And gay couples too - scientifically, research shows that they are equal. Then, males are just as capable of being great parents, and what we need to tackle is gender roles in society and attitudes.

It definitely would be an interesting post to write, although it would have to be months from now - got already too many planned posts haha. And as penderis suggested, do drop by the BuddyUp discord; I found your post through the #post-spot there ;)

I think you make some valid points, I'll look forward to you writing about this in the future! Oh thank you, I'll stop by. Peace.

AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: @penderis/poetrybyjeremy, I must say I've really enjoyed this debate, your honesty and perspectives have given me food for thought, I thought it would be the ladies pointing their fingers..ha!haa! But it just shows how wrong we can be. Thank you. Peace.

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