PTSD: My Travail And How I Managed Mine.

in #esoteric3 years ago

Hello everyone it's been a while since I last made a post. I have been through a lot of issues, I don't even know what I have been facing lately is called but, if I could give a description I would say it looks like a post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for short.


Post traumatic stress disorder is a disorder occurs from previous unpleasant experiences which are most traumatic, although it could result from emotional distress, death or a relative or friend.

I say only a little of what caused it, because I don't want to think of it again. Due to my curiosity about some aspects of life, and youthful exorbitant lifestyle. We were all happy to have gotten admission into the university.

I had never really experienced true freedom, for the first time in my life I was leaving home to be my own boss, although I went to a boarding secondary school. I never really experienced true freedom because we were still restricted. I started well at first, but due to bad information I made some bad decisions. I took stuff that made me really sick, I was hospitalized for two months. All thanks to God I was healed and I had to go back to school, because it all happened in school. It cost me a year because I had to defer my admission. I came back to school and everything felt strange to me, as if I had never been to school ever before, I just couldn't read and understand again. I knew deep down that I wasn't fine but I just didn't know who I could go to and pour my mind to.

Everyone I knew where now ahead of me I faced some kind of stigma from them due to the nature of the sickness. In my new class, I just couldn't relate with anyone owning to the fact that was new and then I was kind of shy to mix up, although I am still an introvert. It's not like I was a free minded person even before the sickness. For more about the what happened to me click here.

I tried to keep up but I wasn't just getting it right. I couldn't help myself, still I had no one to open up to. Although I talked with my mom about the situation, but that didn't solve my problems. Though talking to her used to be solution for me, because she just seem to understand me always. but not on this particular one. I didn't know if she ever understood what I was going through or if it was because I only talked to her through phone calls or if I just couldn't express myself. Remember I had been in away from home all this time. I don't know if you have ever had feelings you just couldn't explain.

It persisted and I started failing my courses and it dawn on me that I needed help, so I decided to meet my course adviser she did her part as the adviser she was supposed to do. But it did help me, because I still failed again and again. I became depressed, I went back to what I pondered on that made me sick. I looked for what could bring joy and happiness to my heart. I became desperate for happiness, I thought that my past lifestyle would help me leave the state I was in. I wasn't really thinking of any implications owning to fact that was still on medications. Still to no avail I didn't feel any better at all, it only made matters worst seriously. The only thing that is still of great surprise the fact that I didn't fall ill again,I know it was actually God's doing. I reflected on what I had actually been through. I knew that if I didn't take a very strong stance on the issue I was heading for my doom.
I knew I needed God but just didn't think I could ever be forgiven. I still went on with my struggles to finding happiness, but It wasn't forthcoming. I thought of having a girl friend but it only led to a heart break.


Yes he came through, I never knew he was just waiting for me to just lay down my burden on him. Seriously I have never felt this way for a very long time, I never knew God was this close to me all this while I use to hear of how people say that God did this or he did that for them but I have never had an encounter with him seriously.

I have for two decades been parading myself as a Christian but I never new what it felt like to be one, but at last God came through, Jesus Christ came through. I now know what it feels like to be a Christian after all this years. What I have been looking for, for four years now in just a matter of minutes. In fact the last time I felt like this was when I was still a child. The devil just kept feeding me with lies upon lies and I kept eating and meditating on his lies and fears. I can say now I'm free from the burden of sins I feel happier now.


I know that even though what I faced might not be as big as what some people are facing right now or might be much more than what you are facing but, here I am testify to the goodness of the God. I don't know what your own problems are, or what the devil has been putting in your heart, or you ever for a second doubt God's existence, but I want to let you know that God is always as close to you than you ever thought. You just have to own up to the fact that you're helpless on your own and no matter the trust you put in man that you might never get all you ever wanted. There might be times you just can't explain the cause of a certain feeling, but I assure you that there is someone that understands just as you feel. All you need to do is to go down to him and lay all your burden on him. Yes he can take absolutely care of you, cause he created you forget about all that science has told you about evolution, you were created by God. Come to think of it, the maker of something would know about everything he has created he would know about everything he created. All am saying in essence is that, God can heal every wound you have whether physical, mental, emotional, financial, all aspects of your life. Whatever hurt at all am serious when I tell you this, God will surely come through.


What has worry ever solved hmm, just take your time to look at it. All those things we have ever worried about what did they ever bring to us. They only brought us was

°Hypertension and eventually death.

So why worry when I has only brought us all these, can our worry bring any sort of solution to our problems no. So I don't think we should worry about a thing again. Though it looks easy as I have said them, it's actually our nature to worry about things we feel we can't handle, but our worries can't handle them either way. We should just trust in God, I don't know what religion you're are but it's not even about the religion. We are all one in Gods sight, I don't even know where the whole religion thing started, but I sure know that if we could all serve God with our whole heart and do as our different religion preaches, then there won't be any problems at all in the world. I don't know if any religion at all on earth preaches to it followers about killing, cheating, hurting, or any other bad thing one can think to a fellow man whether your brother or not. I don't think there is any like that. So we just need to work on ourselves. We would make the world a better place collectively.


Feel free to associate with everyone

Remember keeping everything to yourself could be deadly, please try to share your problems. Remember the saying " that a problem shared is half way solved". While doing that know who you relate your problems with because not all you call your friends are actually friends.

Have fun

Yes have fun at every slight chance you've got, out of all our busy schedules we should take some time off and do something when enjoy doing as long as it does not offend God. While having fun try as much as possible to put a smile on someone else's face too.

Think good the good things only

I know it's not possible as a human not to think of bad things that might have happened. But we should try our possible best to think less of those things that has happened to you. They are all our past, they've all happened the only thing we have is now and it would be better to live now better than our past, we don't live our now better than those past days. We will be accumulating those bad past and be left with no good memories, so why not try to make happy days by thinking of good things.

Watch what you feed your mind with

What you listen to, what you watch and you read should be checked, because you are what you think. Your mind or soul is the real you. Just think of it no matter the amount of money or success you have achieved, those could bring momentary happiness but does not give joy. When the mind is troubled no matter the money you have or connections you've got it does not really help your condition. Only the right counsel and the right word does that.

The company you keep around yourself

Know who you trust to call your friend, because of some envious people could just flock around you to enjoy with you in your times of plenty, and might leave you when you're broken. Test all your friends, remember you should make your own friends not allow yourself be made a friend.

Trust God

It would not be fair if after all this I didn't add this because he is actually the reason I'm writing all this. When all the whole things mentioned above fail you, I want you to know that God will never fail you. It's in our nature to worry though but it's not in God's nature to fail us.


Finally I want to Thank God for what he has done for me and I want to appreciate a true friend of mine for her words of advice, she might not know what God has done through her in my life. I am eternally grateful to God. Please if you're read this I want you to know that all this things I said are true life experiences and I have really felt God's touch in my life, what ever your troubles are just go to him and I am sure he will give the best solution which no man can give to you. Remember again its not in his nature to lie surrender all to him he cares about you.

Thank you for visiting my blog, if you where blessed or have any questions at all please feel free to drop your comments, resteems, and your upvotes would be appreciated. Thank you and God bless your

You can follow me @tobex


A beautiful write up....i hope the public really learns from this

Thank God ,you survived.

Truly I really thank God.

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