What Makes A "Good Dad" And "Bad Dad"?

in #fathersday3 years ago (edited)

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Father's Day is lurking around the corner and is being advertised on a daily basis. Posters of reminders are also everywhere. They're like - screaming; "Don't forget to buy a card or a gift!" It's been commercialized, too but what is not, these days?

Yesterday, I went on my usual stroll and having spotted this family of swans resting peacefully on the side of the road, I decided to take the route with my D Eye.

Despite the bike path being so busy with plenty of kids and parents alike walking or on their bikes, since they're observing a mini - 4 Day Walkathon, the couple rested on the very side of the road. I thought it was odd and curious enough, I went there to take a few shots.

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When I got there they were no longer on the grass, all of them were in the water being fed with bread and I eagerly watched. Dada swan was waddling excitedly in the water, being the tallest, he grabbed the bread with his beak and gobbled it all up. He's too big and tall, the cygnets, nor Mama swan got no chance for a bite.

"Bad dad!"

; says that tiny voice in my head. How could he bully his seven cygnets over some bread? Of all three breads in the plastic bag, he must have swallowed one and a half and the rest were shared by Mama swan and his seven cygnets.

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After the bread break, they headed for the middle of that mere and he sank his browned head into the water. It seems that he took some water plants from underneath and let his cygnets feast on them.

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I saw some of the cygnets do the same meaning, they could already dive for their own food but Dada swan went on and every now and then he'd give it to one or two of his seven cygnets.

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Waiting for them to get back on the grass seemed forever so I went on my stroll. On the way back, I saw them all on that road side again and I took more shots. The road was busier than ever, bikes after bikes and people on foot came after the other. I, on the other hand, slowly and carefully approached the resting party.

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Dada swan would hiss and threaten to peck on each passerby on foot and on bike whenever they get near them. I had to call a little girl on a bike to take the grass instead, since she looked so tiny and was curiously really heading for the resting party. I don't think I would be able to rescue her if Dada swan goes on defense mode for his cygnets.

While he and Mama swan were busily drying up their feathers, he never missed to hiss at any passerby who'd come close enough to just near the edge of that bike path. His cygnets, lay there safely, oblivious of the danger of being snatched or run over. Dada swan is huge enough to fend away any nuisance who'd dare try, they went on their nap.

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Though he didn't hiss at me for I have kept my distance, he kept his eye on me when I dare stood near to take a few shots. Perhaps he could sense, I mean no harm so he went on grooming his beautiful feathers.

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When I got home, I showed my pics to my husband who noticed how brown their heads are specially Dada swan. I actually thought they were just from a different species but then having seen him poke his head in that murky water, several times, I realized how much effort he's been doing to dive for food for the little ones at the same time fend anyone who'd attempt approaching them off.

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I can't imagine how much neck ache he must have to keep doing all that daily. After all, they were smaller than what they are now and seven cygnets to dive for food sounds a lot!

"Good dad"

... I thought. That's when I realized, I judged him a "bad dad" earlier on because I was expecting him to do something he didn't. I thought of him a bully to his own cygnets not realizing how secure and clingy those tiny ones are, to both him and Mama swan.

I only thought he's a "good dad" when I finally saw him do what we humans expect dads to do. Am I the only one who thinks this way? I doubt it! I wonder how many would dare admit though.

I don't have children so I can't call my husband Dada nor greet him on Father's Day which is not a shortcoming for both of us because we are like so by choice but I have a dad and I have to admit that when I was young, I had exactly the same thoughts I had against Dada swan towards my dad specially when I was in my puberty.

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You a dad? Then perhaps you can answer my question, in your perspective, what makes a good dad and a bad dad? Is there such a thing as a bad dad or is it all just a matter of met and unmet expectations that defines one?

Not a dad but have or had one? In your opinion, what makes a "good dad" and "a bad dad"? Which one is your dad?

Btw, I used to write it on my social media, "Happy Father's Day to the GREAT Dads in the world"; but who knows who's a great dad and who's actually trying his best to be? So don't forget the date, 17th of this month ;)! It's still early so let me hold that greeting yet.

This content's 100% mine . I took the pics with my D Eye .. Right click on the pic to open it on a new tab.



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Thank you for posting dear @englishtchrivy.

What lovely photographs and beautiful missive.

Yes.....all is not as it appears sometimes......

Taking care of his charges in such a lovely way.

All the best to you.

Wishing you a lovely weekend. ^__^

A bientot. xox!

hi ya mon ami
lovely to see you!
am glad you like them :)

yes, it's all a question of perspective and our own desire/ standard and not looking hard enough
aren't you posting or have I just missed it? I'll go back and check!

xox!

Swans are very good parents. They protect their kids till the end. Once i saw how the Dad swan attacked a big dog to save his child. Usually they don't come close to people so i can only imagine how hard it was for you to take pictures of them 😀.

hm, the way i see it, everything happened the way it should happen
the Dad swan first caters for himself; once he is fed, and strong, he looks after the tiny ones
if he neglected himself, and got weak, who would then look after the little ones?

I thought that, too
so .. not daring answering the question I threw at the bottom? :D

a good Dad, is a Dad who does everything he can to make his children happy
whether he succeeds or not, is not the point
it is the effort that counts :D
i think the same goes for husband, wife, brother, etc.
i love those cygnets

not so hard wasn't it?
thanks much amigo
have a sunny day!

thanks chica 😉
same to you

Only as adults can we appreciate what our fathers do for us. Sometimes it seemed to us in our childhood that they were more strict than our mothers; sometimes it seemed to us that they give little time to us ; sometimes it seemed to us that they were too busy with their business to love us. But only when we become adults, we understand and appreciate all their love and care and all that they are ready to do for us. Great post! I look at these photos with pleasure and see this parallel with people's lives. Thanks @englishtchrivy

thank you
and thank you for sharing your thoughts
I agree with you on being more understanding when we become adults
I guess, with nature, it's a different thing
none of those cygnets complained nor honked when he snatched all the bread to himself which would probably a mini protest if it happened to us humans but then who knows what they were thinking :)

I was hoping this would stir more replies
but I guess not :)
or it's just too early

It is possible that they have other priorities in terms of care and other criteria (good/bad father). They live in a natural habitat and it is likely that safety can be considered the main one here. He hisses at people approaching. He won't let you get too close. He's protecting his family. Maybe this is a priority for them?
I think it's been a very short time, hopefully. I have observed that activity over the past 3 days has become less. Maybe this is due to the fact that the summer season has started and people are trying to be at a distance from their computers

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What a wonderful post! Your photos are so beautiful. I can't believe you were able to get so close to the swans to capture the detail you did. The baby swans were adorable. And you're right, we all do judge what a "good dad" is from our own perspective, either from past hurts or positive memories. I love it! Thanks for a wonderful share.

thank you

he allowed me to get that close
but he kept an eye on me
all the time

I suppose we all do whether its unconscious or consciously :)

A good father cater for his family and for all there needs a good father also seek advice from his wife but a bad father dont take care of his family financially

interesting
where I came from most dads can't support their families financially
they are however very supportive on other areas
they're at home very often and gives much moral and emotional support to their kids

I have observed kids having just financial support and lacking emo and moral support
imho, most kids who get balanced attention and the kind of support they need tend to do well in most aspects in life even if their dad weren't able to provide enough financial support though that is very very important, too!

A great talk so father prefer spending out than inside

A good dada spends time with his children even though he has a tight schedule, he will create time for them, because it will build the confidence in life.

ah, there's a daring one
thank you for sharing your opinion on what makes a good dad @yaanivapeji
I appreciate that!
what about the dad who chose to become "housebands"? We have many cases of a switch of roles in Asia, normally it's the housewife who stays at home but these days more men do that, therefore the word housebands. Would that still make them a good dad? :)

I doubt because if they are not able to provide for their family, it can be a problem for them especially among their children. Their children might not give them the regard they deserve.

sorry for the late reply

interesting ... you mean they may not be respected? Why do I feel like where you're from has the same standards and norms when it comes to fathering. Dads in my country are expected to be the head of the family and that means - being a provider at the same time, a great husband and dad and failing to meet all those means a problem in the house specially in the terms of the perception their children would throw them

Yeah. I think it is the reality across countries in the world.

spot on
it's the case everywhere
that's quiet a conditioning that's hard to erase I think :)

I agree with you. But why will a man want to be a father and does not think there will be responsibility or will not be willing to take responsibility?

some claim they had an accident child hahaha
what a nonsense
but I guess our generation is more conscious about choice :)

A great experience at the end post congratulations thank you for sharing with us at steemit

This post has received a 8.51 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @englishtchrivy.

Beautiful thing you shared though your post very fascinating to watch that :)

I am the father of three beautiful young people, I always thought he was a good father, he worked all day long, 365 days a year, even on his own birthdays, to make enough money for his tastes.
The day they presented themselves to me and told me that they were going to live in another province in search of a better future, I realized that I was a bad father. I was never in the special moments with them, that's when I resigned from my work and I live from what I generate in steemit.
Now I am a good father and grandfather I am all day to accompany and contain them, you would be surprised to know how much it is needed in the day the presence of a father.
Excellent post dear friend @englishtchrivy I wish you a happy rest

thank you for sharing your opinion @jlufer

wow, that sounds like you're really doing your best
and still taking care of them?
Lucky children of yours!

I can see some similarities to your culture and mine, till now, some of our elders still take care of their children and are living and taking care of them even though those are already as old as 30 - 40 :D

My dad was amazing and I couldn't say anything bad about him. He was always involved with us (two girls) and never missed any of our sport games etc. He taught us everything and just have the biggest respect for him.
I think any dad that is involved in their child's life is a great dad. Because money can't buy love especially childs love.

thank you for sharing your thoughts
sounds like you got plenty of love and attention :)

I do agree that money can't buy you love but surely it can buy much time in the world to spend with one's love ones and give them some spoiling :)

Beautiful post!

hai @englishtchrivy
very beautiful picture. you always share a very good post.
Upvote and Re-Steem

thank you

I'll be back to see other interesting posts and learn photography

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