Out of Danger

in #fiction3 years ago

"She's out of danger." The doctor's words echoed through my head as I clung to Lily's hand.

I'd never forget the sight of her--helpless and fragile. A tube down her throat breathing for her.

Alive, yes. If you'd call it that. She'd never leave this behind. And neither would I.

 


Photo by Marcelo Leal on Unsplash

 

This week's fifty word piece is not so much a story, as it is a vignette. A scene from a story, as it were. While it has conflict and emotion, it has no real trigger. Nothing that challenges the status quo and tips the balance in one direction or the other.

Still, I'm quite happy with it. I seem to be getting into the habit of exploring my existing characters through these little bits of bite sized fiction and Out of Danger is no exception. This time, the character is one from my very first short story, When the tables are turned. It's available in text or as an audio version.

Minnie and her friend Lily have gone through a terrible thing together, and it will leave them both changed for the rest of their lives. This piece offers us a look at what life looks like for them, about a week after the events in Tables.

Who knows? Maybe one day, their story will become longer still, expanding into novella or novel length.

Be sure to stay tuned!

Hugs

Jasmine


Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://www.jasminearch.com/index.php/2018/07/29/out-of-danger/

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I'm not sure I'd agree that there's no trigger. The first sentence seems like a trigger to me! All the rest of the story is how it is now that you know she's out of danger, and the part before the trigger is implied and guessed at but by no means less powerful for that.

It's a great opening line, by the way.

Thank you, Fairy.

Hugs

I really like this. You pack a lot of emotion and drama into those few words.

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Wow. Very powerful, @jasminearch. Yes, I believe many of the pieces that come in for the #fiftywords challenge are vignettes. It's really tough to get a story arc and resolution into a mere 50 words, but often something very satisfying and impactful can be told in micro-fiction without the requisite components of a true story. I'm never quite sure how I feel about that, and about whether it is important to make the distinction. But then I realize that the creative exploration that comes of this challenge continually blows me away, and at the end of the day we are not myopically focusing on semantics here. Fine-tuning a little collection of words that gives a window into a world, a life, or a moment is a worthy endeavor.

BTW, did you add a link to this story to the challenge post comments? I want to make sure other Fifty Worders get a change to see it. :-)

I think I did... goes to see

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