Disgraced Healer -- Fifty word short

in #fiftywords3 years ago

Disgraced Healer.jpg

The battlefield quiets. A hand rises amongst bodies. Pleading eyes meet mine.

I can save him.

But his uniform... the phantom scent of burnt flesh clings to my nostrils. Those bodies were so small.

Oath be damned!

Trading bandages for dagger, I leave his side a darker shade of me.

Another week, another fifty word prompt from @jayna. This week the word is shade, and I immediately wanted to discover an alternative use outside of shelter from the sun.

I came to my fellow writers with an idea and they helped me work through about four or five versions of this piece. Lots of suggestions were thrown around, different things tried, but the most constructive editing came when they asked questions to know the character and his/her situation better.

I really like how this turned out and great thanks goes to @negativer, @jasminearch, @anikekirsten, and @therosepatch for helping me on this one. Again, peer editing helps to refine a piece into the best version.


This is such a hard story and so great, Ak! I can still smell the charred bodies deep inside my nose. Loved seeing this develop.

Thank you Anike. And I really appriciate the help to bring those charred bodies too life for the reader. Well, not life really, but... you know what I mean.

This turned out excellent. So many different ways a chunk of 50 words can go, and you turned something that started out good into something great and interesting.

Thanks for the compliment Neg. It wouldn't have been great without help though, so thanks again for that.

It was, once again, awesome being a part of this. You turned out an amazing piece. Again.

And again I say thank you. Being a good writer isn't just about what one person can produce and it's such a pleasure working together with such awesome people, like you. 😁

This story seems to me carefully and beautifully written; each word picked plays its role of relevance. All fits. So much has been said about word, and yet this seems perfectly original to me (and heartfelt). Loved it.

Amazing write, @aksounder.

(I'm coming back to upvote in two days ☻when my hurt VP bumps up)

Thank you so much for the kind comments! Each word was carefully chosen and a component of the story to deliver. Much thanks to the editors I mentioned for offering huge assistance in getting the most out of each word. It wouldn't have turned out this great without them.

This is a very powerful story, @aksounder -- highly complex, richly told and impactful. I hope to never experience the sights and sounds of war, or to face the dilemma your narrator faces. If I am reading it right, he didn't deliberate for long, though, as the person he is liberating from this life did so to others who were completely innocent.

I really enjoyed reading about your peer editing process. Such great minds at work!

Thank you Jayna. These 50 word shorts have become such a joy and I've really gotten a LOT more out of them than I expected thanks to peer review. Amazing what we can accomplish with our writing when we seek input.