Check, Please - Fifty Word Challenge

in #fiftywords3 years ago (edited)

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The waitress takes our untouched plates.

She's uncomfortable. “How about dessert?”

She's bleak. “We have cheesecake, tiramisu, or pumpkin pie.”

She's innocent, caught in the crossfire.

My husband squirms. “No, I think we're finished.”

I nod and place my ring on the empty table. “Yes. I think we finally are.”

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Last round I wrote about a marriage beginning, and this time a marriage has come to an end.

It's not the same marriage, I promise!

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for emotional roller coaster rides 😉

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Wow. You packed so much in here. Really well worked... Didnt see it coming

Thank you so much!

I remain unconvinced this is not the second part of a trilogy you started last week.

Will our couple find their way back? Or are they doomed to live lonely lives filled with solitary slices of pie and nosy waitresses?

Stay tuned!

No, last week's couple is two blocks away at the all-you-can-eat buffet, and the missus just revealed she's pregnant with twins!

Meanwhile, several other characters who may or may not have previously had relationships and/or amnesia experience angst-ridden moments of love/fear/heartbreak/grief.

thank you for watching Generic Soap Opera

In any case, this story is a lesson for why a man should never order a hamburger at a fine French restaurant.

I would still do it
Hopefully my wife can't get the ring off her finger the next time I do it

Oofta, I can feel the tension!

Thanks, glad you liked it :) I feel for that poor waitress, why is it always her shift that gets the drama!

Nice work! Looking forward to more.


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You seem to be obsessed with marriage right now. What's up with that?

But seriously, I enjoyed this story, and I feel for the poor server. She seems to have picked up on the fact that things are not going well between these two, and all she can do is offer sweets in a vain attempt to remove the pall cast upon the restaurant by their failing marriage!

Well written, but I'm a happy ending kinda guy... :O

😄😇😄

@creatr

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