3am Thoughts - A Curious Freewrite about Beauty, The Universe, and Eternity
I think why beauty can sometimes make us sad is because what it ultimately hints at is immortality and a feeling of foreverness which is close to impossible because nothing lasts till the end of time.
This is why when we're in love, we're also kinda sad when we realize that one day all of this will be over even though we're immeasurably happy and blissful at the moment.
The pain of not being able to experience happiness forever, is exactly what makes us sad, followed by the trial of denying ourselves of our own mortality and limitedness.
'Forever' is a really interesting word if you think about it. It's something that can never be, yet is the most supreme desire any of us can ever have. We try to extend our lives through our work that can influence the world long after we're gone, but we can only do so much until even that is forgotten and we're truly and irretrievably dead.
I know all of this isn't easy to hear. Perhaps what can give us a little peace of mind is that all of these possible futures are still theories. Highly likely, but when you're talking about something as big as the whole universe, especially when you're a human who has no real idea of the nature of reality, almost everything you say is still a theory, not real facts.
This is the reason why we humans obsess over beauty and why we love to fall in love; because it distracts us from our inevitable existential crisis and makes us feel immortal and infinite, even if it's only for a little while.
If you think about it, there's nothing more poetic than this. The burning desire to have something that you know you can never have and is beyond your wildest imagination is the most artistic and aesthetic thing that there is in the world.
We humans are both blessed and cursed to be curious beings. Our curiosity inspires us and gives us hope to do and become better and find new things, but it also is the reason why we're almost never truly happy with ourselves unless we feel that feeling of immortality which we talked about earlier.
So how do we deal with this? How do we make ourselves forget about dreading over losing something that we haven't lost yet but are going to? How do we forget about dreading over losing something that was never ours to begin with?
This is the part where the saying "Ignorance is bliss" seems to make a lot of sense. Most of the people I've met in my life don't seem to understand this, or maybe, they choose not to so they can avoid the pain that comes with having an existential crisis.
But I think the second way to deal with it, which is personally more appealing to me, is to try and simply accept it. To accept that you are a limited creature on a limited planet revolving around a limited star in a limited galaxy in the (infinite?) universe.
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