Breathe - A Hopeful Freewrite about giving yourself time to Think, Relax, and Change

in #freewritelast year


I know I've been really inactive on Steem lately and there have been many times in the past 2 weeks where I really wanted to write an article for my blog but something or the other kept coming in between.

Not just that but I think my urge to create content has dimmed down a little bit in the past few months. Part of the reason is my work life, of course, which is no surprise. But the other part has a lot more to do with my personal priorities.

I don't really know how to explain it. It feels weird to not see new content on my blog but for some reason, I'm kinda okay with it too. But I don't want to be okay with it. I want to write. I want to keep on writing.

And it fucks with my head to not know what I should do.

Do I need to chill out or write more often? Is it worth it to push harder? Should I rather spend the time that I spend on my blog to find freelancing projects? Is it really my age to be stressing about money?

I include a link to my blog in my portfolio when I'm applying for projects online but I'm scared that I'll be asked why have I been so inactive. I don't have a proper answer to that, but do I really need to?

I know this article might not be that fun to read but this is my way of letting it out and telling myself I need to take it easy and breathe a little.

I don't know why but it has always made me incredibly uncomfortable whenever I've taken a break from my blog. I mean, I know my mind needs a break but then why do I feel uneasy when I actually do? Isn't a break supposed to be relaxing?

I think it has something to do with the fact that I set up a standard for myself that I need to post at least 3 articles on my blog in a week and when I'm not able to maintain that standard, I get nervous and I feel guilty.

I want to write more often but I also know that I can't always be available for my blog because as I'm growing older, so are my priorities. My blog is still a big priority and is very dear to me, but I can't keep pretending that I can handle everything in my life in complete synchrony.

I need to give myself some time, think, organize my priorities, and start again. Properly, this time. Maybe it'll work.


Previous Freewrites:


Follow Me: @ayushjalan


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