There is No Switch from Beautiful Baby to Imperfect Adult! #180

in #happierpeople4 years ago (edited)

How do I deal with what might look like an army of haters without fighting back, condemning, or hiding most of the time? I see the thousands of comments, the hundreds posts, and even a few videos with thousands of views that are filled with what might look like criticism, judgement, condemnation, and humor aimed at what might appear to be me.

Two secrets explain how I respond without losing it every day and spending all my time fighting back with posts and videos about how wrong the people are talking about me. First, any publicity is good publicity because we all have our own opinions. Someone writing about what a scam artist I am might reach someone that never heard of me and end up disagreeing with the original author leading to me gaining a new follower. I would guess thousands of the followers I have online now have come from what originally looked like negative publicity. That I will save for another post.

For today, let us look together at the humility and equality we all share starting as a baby combined with the insane idea that we somehow lose that based on what we do or what was done to us. Once we see that every baby starts out in perfection and at no point does that switch into being bad or imperfect, then we are free to wish peace unto each person we meet and especially ourselves! We become free of the need to judge others separately from ourselves and accept what each of us does as perfect.

Would you join me in reading about the illusion of a switch because inside is freedom from the pain of separation?

Thank you for reading about day 180 of Happier People Podcast and I hope you enjoy it!

There is No Switch from Beautiful Baby to Imperfect Adult!

There is no switch from a beautiful perfect baby to an adult. Once we comprehend this idea, then we have the chance to truly love everyone we come across and we have the chance to feel like we are good enough.

All criticism, all the condemnation, all the judgments, all of these things come from forgetting the one simple fact, that each of us starts out as a beautiful perfect baby, at least in the eyes of the mother, and then we never change from that.

There's no switch where all of a sudden it happens that, "Well, now I have to prove I'm a good person because I'm 23 and I don't have a job. Now, I have to prove I'm a good person."

What about at a year old?

At two years old, my daughter doesn't have a job. She doesn't have to prove she's a good person and go get a job that looks like she's doing something useful. She is perfect just how she is and this is an amazing fact of life that consistently is shown to me whenever people see my daughter.

"Oh, your daughter is so beautiful."

Yes, she is.

She's an ordinary human being.

She's two years old.

She's a good person.

Every one of us that is older than that has been there and done that. In order for us to have to prove we are a good person, to prove where we belong, to stand up and fight for our integrity, there must be some switch at some point where we become bad.

What a lot of us do is we look at things like criminal records. We look at things to prove that the switch happened, that at some point you committed this crime and from there on you are now bad, because you stole twenty dollars from some store when you were younger or because you looked at some nasty video, then the switch happened.

You were perfect up until that point.

You were perfect until you took that time to download and watch that video at which point you became bad.

Now, you know you're bad inside. You know everyone else can see you're bad and therefore, you must work all day, every day to prove that you are not bad. You must work, you've got to earn lots of money to prove that you're a good person.

You have to work hard at a job. You've got to get a beautiful partner just to prove that you’re even with the rest of humanity.

Now, that's insane!

That is truly insane to believe that one breach of the rules or one looking bad, one thing that people didn't agree with could somehow remove the gift that you came into this world with: the gift of being beautiful and perfect.

That does not go away because you've got arrested or because someone did something to you, or was a victim of violent crime. It doesn't go away because of a video we watched. It doesn't go away because of someone we hurt. It doesn't go away because of something we've said.

These things don't strip what we came into this world with and what we will go out of this world with, and at the latest, by the time we die, we will clearly remember this.

Near-death experiences or NDEs consistently bring us the information that upon the dying experience we are relieved of any sense of separation, that somehow we are alone and scared in this world, that somehow we're not like other people.

All of those illusions get removed upon dying and we are assimilated back completely into the unconditional love that is our whole, but the nice part is we don't have to almost die to get this realization.

We can simply listen to others who are aware of this consciously before death. We can look at a baby and see that the baby has no illusions of being a separate self. A baby is comfortable with being a part of the whole and the only time it is uncomfortable is when it needs help, and then it simply cries and asks for help. It doesn't do it from a point of view of feeling like a bad person who is not enough.

When we relieve this sense of somehow thinking a switch happened, then we don't need to look for that switch in others either.

We don't have to go looking around in our neighbors.

We don't have to go hunting around online and trying to find the switch.

Once we are free from the mindset of the switch happening within us, then we also have freedom for love and tolerance of others.

We understand that those living in the world where there is a switch will often be triggered off by various things.

For example, I made a post on Steem a couple weeks ago that for many people, this triggered the switch. I followed that with another post making an apology for making a completely unnecessary and poorly informed post. Two weeks later I avoided doing the same thing again after taking the time to Google my next best idea and seeing that not only had a top author on Steem already made a post I was about to make but more than likely what I hoped to get out of my post was already underway. To summarize, I acted in selfishness and stupidity, immediately apologized for the mistake along with doing what I could to fix it, and am following that with actions based on what I learned to not repeat the same wrong.

Despite these efforts, the chats and posts by a few have maintained an amazing amount of "Oh my God! Jerry is a scam artist now that cannot be trusted because of what he has done."

"Despite hundreds of other posts, thousands of comments, Jerry is now a bad person because of this one post which was edited within a few hours in response to feedback. He is no longer on the good list. He must work to prove that he's good again. He will never be good again."

The most ridiculous version of this happened with one person who had previously muted me and found a reason I was awful when I first joined Steem. After a few months of this, they messaging me asking about starting fresh and made a witness vote for me. At nearly the same time, I made the post about my account creation service and the person removed their witness vote a few hours later and without taking the time to say anything else in the private message.

The switch must have happened!

"Oh, no! I'm just kidding. Look I was trying to be nice and give him another change but I was wrong. He's definitely bad. He's horrible. How dare he make a mistake?"

This is funny to me because these are things that we do when we feel we're separated. We put our own worth on the table. We put our own judgment of the world and leave that up to other people and here's a secret:

I don't care what you think of me.

I don't care because I am perfect and you are perfect. I don't care because what we think of each other is just a passing thought that will quickly be forgotten.

It doesn't matter whether you think I'm a saint or the devil. What you think of me is none of my business and what I think of you is none of your business either!

We divine immortal beings having fun. This is our dream and our journey together. As soon as we die, any illusion of separation is removed.

We each choose how we see the world. If you want anyone to be good or evil, feel free make that choice. I have given up the quest to be a good person because I already am good by default and so is everyone else. This is the dream Martin Luther King was talking about.

I have no need to be a good person because all of us are equal and creating the idea of good creates the need for bad. If we really want to fight evil, we get rid of the idea of good AND evil.

The person pointing their finger and claiming I'm the devil is just as much of a good person as the person getting down on their knees and worshiping me.

"Oh, Jerry's just like Jesus Christ. Oh, my God! He's so good."

We are all simply babies that have grown up. There's no shift at any point. Nothing that ever happens to my daughter will remove the perfection that she already has. The only person who can remove it is her. She can decide if something she doesn't like happens to her, and it can be anything. It could be the smallest trifle to the worst victimization.

She could have a bad grade in school and decide suddenly that she's a bad person and all of a sudden, now she has to prove she's good. Or she could have the most horrible atrocity happen to her and still not allow any questioning of whether she's a good or a bad person.

I used to feel that the things I had done made me a bad person and therefore I had to tear everyone else down.

I had to point out people and say, "This person's a scammer. This person's disgusting. This person is an evil politician. This person is a murderer."

Today I see, "There, but for the grace of God, go I."

Very easily I could be sitting in a prison cell today if it weren't for little tiny things that guided me away from being a murderer. If it weren't for little tiny things away from me drinking myself to death, I'd be another statistic having passed away from overdose of alcohol.

My mother likes to go on about murderers in prison and she asks, "What about murderers in prisons?"

I tell her, "Mom, but for the grace of God, your son would be right there. Right there!"

Even a murderer, even the worst person that we can think of in our judgment still was given the perfection of a baby and if we look at it the switch in our minds was very likely produced from things that were done to them.

Yesterday I was walking through the store and I ran into a man that set off all of my "you are a bad person" radar. He looked like he'd been through a rough life, was short on some teeth and immediately started talking to me trying to talk about how babies’ heads were soft.

Within a few seconds of seeing me, he put his hand on my daughter's head talking about how soft babies' heads are…

… and he's touching her head!

I gently moved his hand off of her head and I stood there in the discomfort of my judgment and his judgment of himself.

We both stood there in the discomfort and I said nothing. I simply looked at him and realized everything going on, that I am condemning him right now. I can see instantly as soon as I've met him all of the horrible things he thinks about himself, that he feels he is a horrible condemned person for the things he has done and my mind is attempting to validate that by doing the same thing back to him, and I refuse to participate in that.

I will love this man unconditionally and it hurt yesterday to even be near him. I radiate such a love and joy that most people who are in misery and feel condemned cannot stand to be near me. This is everyone, these are completely ordinary things I'm talking about today. These are things every single person has at the core that we cover up.

We obscure these things. When we try to create this world of miserable things or this world of proving the switch has happened in other people, then what happens is we radiate when we feel the switch has happened in us, and we can't stand to be around people who don't see it that way.

I said almost nothing to this man. I might have nodded or just given some confirmation I could understand him. I think he talked for about two minutes about how soft babies’ heads were after I gently removed his hand from my daughter's head, lovingly, the way you might just gently remove your child's hand from something and it was amazing.

He didn't fight back or take offense or anything, and yet, he also couldn't stand to keep talking to me because he could tell I was opening my heart to him. He could tell he would not be able to continue being miserable around me, that he would have to give in to some feelings of warmth, love and joy.

After about a minute he said, "Oh. Okay bro," and walked off, and then I had the thoughts flying through my mind that are fairly typical when we see someone who has triggered off those expectations that the switch has happened.

"Oh! This is a bad person."

My mind kept coming in, "Well, what if he had tried to hurt my daughter? I'd have just taken a can off the shelf and just knocked him right over the head."

These are the thoughts we have of separation, that somehow him and I are part of different universes, that somehow God's perfection given to me as a baby might not have been bestowed or was taken away from him, and the truth is, it's not.

God sees him the same as God sees me.

I am no better or no worse than him.

Now, comprehend this.

The murderer in prison, the person you think of that you detest, that you can absolutely see no forgiveness for.

I am no better than them.

That is humility, that is equality too realize that we are truly completely equal, that you and me are equals.

This is our universe we are making together and that love and respect means that I don't have to prove my goodness, I don't have to prove my worth, I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I do what I love and enjoy on a daily basis, and I trust that you will participate in this as you see fit.

You will bring me and whatever I do into your universe when you need it, when you don't, you will let it go, and that fundamentally our worlds are one.

Essentially, I'm speaking to myself right now, which is true given that I recorded the video for this post on my front porch, and at the same time, you may be listening to this, watching this or reading this at a later date than October 13, 2017, in which case, I'm essentially talking to myself.

Because in true equality and humility, and seeing the perfection of a baby, we're all essentially clones of each other, that there is no one of us, there is only one of us, that if you take away the time component, then I am able to live your life, my life, everyone's life and everything's life I already have, I already will do it again.

It's all happening at once now and that gives us a feeling of freedom from whatever little things happen and go on to this.

I got a letter from the IRS yesterday saying that they received my documentation, that when previously they had asked if I would like them to add $300,000 more to my taxes, I said, "No because I already paid that. It's on a different business than the one you have listed."

They sent a letter and said, "Well, we'll take a look at that and get back to you in sixty days."

You see, this kind of things previously would have triggered, "Oh, my God, I might be a bad person because the IRS has questions about my tax return."

The IRS doesn't determine whether any of us are good or bad people, which is fortunate because some of the people who are in full tax compliance, we might not agree with as being good while others who might be in prison for tax evasion, there is no reason to simply judge them as bad.

When we see that at no point there is a switch from being a beautiful perfect baby to being all of a sudden this grown-up adult who might be in prison, or who might be in the White House, or who might be across the street, or who might be on their front lawn talking to a camera, that at no point do any of us lose the gifts of our perfect creation, and that's a miracle to just see that.

Just seeing that frees us from the need to condemn others. I have no need to condemn anyone condemning me today because I understand. I get it. I know what that Universe looks like. I used to sit on XBox Live drunk trying to tear down the world.

"Well, these people, and these people, and this person, and this company… and this and that, and everyone else sucks because I feel like I suck, and if everyone else sucks, then we're all equal again."

That's the underlying foundation of criticism on the character of another, that we're hoping to tear down the world to our level, we're hoping to bring someone we think honestly is better than us down to our level. That's how I see criticism, as an attempt to return to the middle, to equality.

Now, that's not to say if you download a product that states it will do X and you use it and you can't get it to do X, that doesn't mean it's unreasonable to leave a review that says, "One star. This product said it would do X and I could not get it to do X."

That is helpful feedback for the developer just as it is on some of my videos. I said in the video, "I will show you how to do this in the video."

The comments and dislikes on it then indicate, "Well, he said he was going to do that in the video. He didn't do it."

That's fine!

That helps me to improve and to do better.

At the same time, my character and integrity is not on the table for debate. When comments come in saying that I'm a scam artist, that I'm horrible, that I have to prove myself, that I have to try to be on my best behavior, that I'm recovering from being a horrible person, those are invalid like when you enter an invalid input into a program, when it asks for a number and you put in a letter, it doesn't compute, that does not register.

They are comments that are not valid in a Universe of wholeness, of love and acceptance. Those comments only reflect back the inability of the user to interface with a wholehearted world and a desperate call for unconditional love and acceptance. Today I'm grateful I realize that because I used to sit there and argue.

"Well, what did you call me? You said what? Oh, no! You did not."

I used to take time on reviews that insulted me to try to look smart and pick apart every single thing the person said, but it didn't make me look smart, it made me look insecure, which was the truth.

Today I am grateful that I am secure because I have what everyone else has.

I'm completely ordinary.

I'm just me.

I'm a normal human being.

What better thing can there be than that?

That is a miracle and it's simple when we look at the timeline of any of us, and look for that switch. When we look for the switch, we find incredibly arbitrary things that trigger the switch:

Victimizations we didn't sign up for, trigger the switch.

Things that we just blundered into or were doing with our friends, trigger the switch.

Natural desires the body has, trigger the switch.

One judgment of ourselves in the mirror, triggers the switch.

One comment by someone else who's hurting and in pain, and feeling separate, triggers the switch.

When you see that there's no switch, there's no trigger, every beautiful baby grows up to be a beautiful adult and a beautiful experienced user of life, becomes a senior, and then dies, and goes back to being a perfect part of the whole, and in fact ceases to be a part of the whole and is completely one with the whole.

There we go, all the happiness and joy you've been looking for packed into about twenty minutes.

I'm grateful today that I've listened and heard this message from so many others that I've internalized it myself because for most of my adult life, I felt the switch had happened. I felt that it happened in me and I was bad, and man, was I taking the time to point it out to you.

I love you.

You're awesome.

Thank you for reading day 180 of Happier People Podcast, which was originally filmed as the video below on my house's front yard.

I appreciate you being here and I hope you have a wonderful day today.

If you found this post helpful on Steemit, would you please upvote it and follow me because you will then be able to see more posts like this in your home feed?


Jerry Banfield with edits by @gmichelbkk on the transcript from @deniskj

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jerry the great!!

what type of bot the gentlebot is?? is it a type of artificial intelligence??

don't know, yo have to find it yourself

I really like this sentence.

First, any publicity is good publicity because we all have our own opinions.
I tell my friends that sometimes. As a matter of fact, I first came across your username in a comment that said many bad things about you. I had to check your profile to see for myself. I saw something different, I saw a helper. Someone that shares useful tips. What that person thought was negative publicity, actually turned positive.

Awesome @jerrybanfield, I always enjoy your happier people series because it leaves me a better person. One thing I know in this life is that no matter what you do people are going to talk whether good or bad.
Everybody will never agree with you. Infact it is said that if everyone likes you then you shoud check and recheck youre]self. it means you may be a failure. But when you get opposed aand hated then you are heading i the right direction.
Crab mentality will never allow people enjoy another's success without envy.
Keep doing good sir.

you are kind person i learn lot of thing from you and you deserve me withness vote

This was beautifully written & I appreciate you for sharing your perspective. I share a lot of your outlook in theory, but I struggle with it in practice.

I think my favorite quote from all this was:
"What you think of me is none of my business and what I think of you is none of your business either!" I truly love that & have been trying to live it, so I never have to get caught up living in someone else's head & assuming I can have their thoughts for them. It's a hard habit to break, but it sure makes life more peaceful!

Have you ever read any books by Byron Katie? So much of this reminds me of her work in the best way.

Best to you Jerry, I wish I was as able to be as open-hearted to others, especially in the face of criticism. I admire your emotional strength.

Another great article, keep up the good work!

It is Saturday today and I am Grateful for @jerrybanfield and the fact that he is Positive and of Sober Mind. One Day at a Time Jerry and I help each other sometimes without even knowing it. Bless you and much Love my Brother..

Truth be told, i did not read through everything but i did got some valuable info which

Today I am grateful that I am secure because I have what everyone else has.

I'm completely ordinary.

I'm just me.

I'm a normal human being.

What better thing can there be than that?

No one is extraordinary... thanks for sharing your thoughts

When it comes to other people, and I am going to write a piece about this, I assume three things: 1) They can physically break me in half. 2) They know something I don't. 3) Their dog died that morning (or some other sadness they are dealing with.)

This is enough to get through most interactions. Anyway, I try not to stress it. Good luck.

@jerrybanfield you are a great person. also your post is great.i get insperiation from you.i always follow you and your post.pleasr pray for me.upvote and resteem your nice topic

Thank you for this amazing neutrality. its makes me feel comfortable now even I am now in the middle of being perfect. even i am poor enough in grammar because this is not my native language and I never graduated in any degree nor never attending college day. But in reality I agree with you @jerrybanfield we are not perfect in terms of misjudging other people. well even I can't deeply understand what is really point of this . I was thankful to read this very truly informative post. I love it from the bottom of my heart. sorry for my grammar.I am only second year high school of elementary hihihihi have a nice articles. Thanks for this huge perfect words of humanity. as PERFECTLY ADVISE.

Very good post.
Today on my walk there was an elderly man walking in front of me and he looked weary. - as I watched him, a thought crossed my mind as to how time erodes us and that he was once an innocent little child full of the joys of life - yet now there was no joy in his step and I wondered what life had dealt him to take away that joy.
we all make mistakes and over react sometimes - but I think it takes a special person to just "be still" before we speak or act.

@jerrybanfield you are absolutely right, we are all perfect just the way we are. Unconditional love is the key, and once learn that, we are free. Ultimately our own happiness is whats most important and we need to learn that what other people think of us or our opinions actually has nothing to with us at all. We are our own worst enemies because we overthink and analyse everything to death. So, don't worry, be happy, and always remember you are perfect just as you are. Blessings to you!

Hi @claudiaz, you seem to understand Jerry's philosophy, but I admit i don't. I am sure Jerry's busy witnessing, so maybe you can explain it: I am perfectly fine accepting the thinking whatever anyone likes, and not judging that as good vs evil. What about actions, if that man did attack him and hurt his daughter, would that man still be a perfect baby? Aren't we judged for our deeds, not our thoughts?

Hello @steemulator, nice to meet you. I will do my best to explain it as simply as I can. We are the creators of our own reality. We create this reality with our pattern of though. When you think about certain things a certain way (because you saw it on TV or read it in a book) , and you think the same thought over and over, this thought turns into a belief, and that which you believe ultimately becomes your reality. And as far as judgement goes, we are the only ones doing any judging at all, we judge others for their actions (without understanding what is driving them) and even worse we judge ourselves so harshly at times that it literally makes us ill (dis-eased). This is why "unconditional love" is a hard lesson for us to learn, because it means exactly that "love everyone without any conditions attached" no matter what.

And I love you too! But you are not answering my question about deeds, acts. Are there any evil deeds out there in the world? That's Yes or No question 😉

Short answer "no" there are not.

@jerrybanfield why do you like wallking alone?

What if Godzilla will eat you?!

How nice you are to help other @jerrybanfield. Im speechless.. 😍😍😍😍

Enjoy happy movement of life with steemit [email protected] for beautiful post and memorable movement of your life.

I think you are a very strong man on the inside, not many have your strength; even i don't have the strength to ignore so much hatred.

Spiritual matters told me about you and how positive you look at things and not break down or go haywire- i think i have to watch you more to learn some inner calmness!

Stay focused on your vision @jerrybanfield. Some will support and some will oppose you. No single individual is perfect on planet earth.

love you man.i subscribed your youtube channel a long time ago.i have learnt a lot from you.even i am on steemit because of you.thanks a lot and keep doing amazing stuff

Hi @jerrybanifield
You're indeed doing a great work to the steemit community. I love your understanding over those hateful comments and how you displays some maturity over them. Keep it up please.

Excellent article that you are written! Also you looking so cute. I learn a lot of things from you. Stay happy and be well bro @jerrybanfield

@jerrybanfield can i vote for you more then one?

Heyyy, I saw you on youtube :)
nice to see you here man !

The great love from India to You . Hope to learn a lot from you.
Thanks for your facebook video that brought me to steemit.

I hello sir what I have to say l don't think people appreciate .well you r doing well and further efforts makes you more successful.
Well sir plz do visit my blog and plz give suggestions for improvement. And sir please do upvote if u like my content

I am moved by that part of the old man who touched your daughter's head @jerrybanfield a long article that i read from start to finish.. Thanks upvoted and resteemed

A big wow for that airticle 👊
I tagged you in my post...have look at my post and give me few tips 😋

There is beauty in everything..just that not everyone sees it

We as humans are so quick to judge others but slow to look at ourselves. We are not born with owner manuals. We will make mistakes. To err is human to forgive is divine. Admitting one's mistakes takes courage. Apologising for them takes fortitude. Keep on Steeming, Jerry.

Damned straight. The moment my baby was born drove this home to me more than ever. Nothing in her future life will ever change the fact that she is perfect and pure. No amount of time or experience will ever change that. How is it any different for anyone else? Even myself. What a different world it would be if we all thought this way. Alas, it is not, and we need to be ready for war sometimes.

haters gonna hate Jerry. Don't like them get to ya!

Really very happy to say your Article is very interesting to read, i never stop myself to say something about it, you are doing a great job, keep it up.

can you help me ,, i am wrong in charging my birth date ,, i am trading in bittrex ,, so i can not make a withdrawal

power of the beauty

Interesting stuff to read,keep it up

Enjoyed reading the article above explain everything in detail, the article is very interesting and effective, thank you and Good luck for the upcoming articles.

Awesome post, Keep it up!
my comment repply boss
and vote me

Great Post Sir.

I'm ur big fan...@jerrybanfield ..!!

Very good post my frends
Good job @jerrybanfield
I upvote

Your post an article are always great

Nice to meet you Jerry. I follow your posts.

I think your great

Great write up, real good to learn! Cheers

you must change the gif image of the witness again to 22...jaja

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Nice article thank you Jerry.

Rightly said @jerrybanfield. I have wished many times to go back to childhood but there is no switch or time machine :(

Please upvote this

Eso mi querido hermano es ser feliz dtb

Please follow me Jerry????

i like your post

You are really doing well

You are great sir

The quality of your post is really awsome

Great post boss.go of luck.

Jerry !!! Frank opinion !!!

Hatter ia always hate. Forget it @jerrybanfield. Be the useful person is the most important thing

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U r awesome

great article your post


@jerrybanfield I do realise that this is somewhat of a "delayed reaction" but I have had quite plenty on my plate lately too. (A story for another day lol)

I wanted to say ONE THING to you...

You are an INCREDIBLY spirited individual that from what I have learnt in the short time that I have "known" you, has overcome some SERIOUS hurdles! Many people will NEVER understand the levels of persistence, determination and sheer desperation it takes to get through such times.... but here you stand! And the way I see it... as I have written before - "IMPERFECTLY PERFECT".

You are doing amazing things! Do not let ANYONE kill your spirit! EVER! - No matter WHAT they say!

Everything that you are encountering right now, is simply making you a MUCH stronger person. It is building you - shaping you! (You know this!) Do not be detoured! People who throw sticks and stones, are simply all a part of the lesson - a part of the character building!

Those that point out the stick in your eye, should look at the plank in theirs!

You have inspired an article. will share with you later!

Looks like you are having an AMAZING time at Steemfest! I hope you really are!

Just keep being you... which from what I can tell.... is VERY real! Keep doing that! :)


@jerrybanfield re. my previous comment on this post... I said I would share this with you... so here it is! xxx

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

I need help me please