"Emotions" can reflect your needs and personal experiences
What are your emotions like right now? Happy, angry, sad, fearful ......?
Human emotion is a wonderful, variable and complex cognitive activity, and until now psychologists are still arguing over the mode of emotion generation.
In addition to the above four basic emotions, we have a variety of compound emotions, for example, joyful anger, crying and laughing, happy, laughing and crying with joy, etc.
Emotions and Needs
Emotions have a great relationship with our needs. If our needs are met, we have positive emotions, and if they are not met, our emotions will become negative.
It can be said that needs are the basis for emotions, and most of the time, the emotions you feel depend on whether and to what extent your needs are met.
When company employees are criticized by their superiors, they feel frustrated because their self-esteem needs are not being met.
When a couple has an argument, two people will feel disappointed and sad because their need to belong and love has been hit.
We have diverse needs, not only the most basic physiological needs, but also self-esteem needs and self-actualization needs, which are growth needs. A particular object in our life usually can only satisfy one aspect of our needs, but not all of them, which leads to the diversity of our goals.
From the goal dimension, human beings have a wide range of pursuits, for example, some people pursue status and power, some people pursue harmonious and happy family relationships in order to satisfy their self-esteem needs, and we go after many things and experience different emotions.
The relationship between emotions, needs and objects is always in development and change. At this moment, perhaps delicious food can satisfy your needs and make you happy.
However, when you are unhappy, the world seems to be covered with a layer of gray, you only selectively see the negative side of things, even if the mountain of food can not attract your interest, before you can meet your needs are no longer attractive.
The relationship between emotions and needs reflects the complexity of emotions, and many people are unable to understand their own emotions, let alone those of others.
In today's society, there is a growing emphasis on "emotional quotient", the ability to understand and control one's own emotions and those of others.
People with high emotional intelligence have a clear self-concept and are good at analyzing their own mental activities, exploring the source of their emotions, and using them as a basis for judging the emotions of others.
In this process, a person's intelligence is also developed, which is one of the kernels of emotional intelligence.
It can be said that emotional intelligence not only helps us to handle interpersonal relationships well, but also promotes our own psychological development, and it is rightly concerned by many people.
At the same time, emotional intelligence is a broad concept, yet some people simply think that "talking = high emotional intelligence", which is actually very one-sided.
For example, there are people who are good at everything outside the home, maintain good relationships with everyone, and get their respect. But at home, they do not take into account the emotions of their families and behave recklessly.
For this type of people, do we just rely on their performance outside to assert that the emotional intelligence is high? Obviously not. A person's emotional intelligence is reflected in all aspects, even if the situation changes, it does not affect their ability to control their emotions.
A truly high emotional intelligence should be balanced with all people, not hot on the outside and cold on the inside.
High emotional intelligence is not just about the relationship between an individual and the outside world, but also about an individual's ability to regulate his or her emotions.
For example, a person who is able to enlighten others or make them feel good about themselves by the art of speaking, but in private is a person who likes to take the bull by the horns.
These people like to achieve others, but they can not get a sense of happiness, they make others full of hope for life, but they are in deep distress can not be extricated.
These people are not high emotional intelligence, just more social experience, or they have more profound interaction skills, if the attentive observation, diligent study, more practice, everyone can master their way of speaking.
The misconceptions about emotional intelligence may persist for a long time, all because of the need for social interaction skills.
China is a typical human society, where relationships make up most of the impact on people's careers, while ability and effort make up the rest.
This shows that people's increasing demand for so-called "emotional intelligence" is also well documented.
In short, what many people seek in life is not high emotional intelligence, but social skills, high emotional intelligence must have strong social skills, but social skills are not necessarily high emotional intelligence. And to distinguish between social skills and high emotional intelligence helps us to see others and avoid falling into the scam of emotional intelligence.