The easy way - How to find out the truth
Meticulously thought-out lies are characteristic only of scouts and extremely sophisticated liars. The person is not able to foresee everything - try to find out the details, ask more clarifying questions (perhaps your partner will not be able to answer some of them or, being entangled in his own lies, will answer a second question about the little things in a different way).
Psychologists believe that trap questions are not a very suitable way to manipulate a person. And if you are wrong, you can greatly offend your partner. The question is formulated in such a way that you express some of your suspicions, but do so in the form of an assumption. For example, if your husband tells you that he has found a job, and you suspect him of cheating, then the trap question may sound like this: "What if I call you at work and they tell me that they don't know this?"
This method is for the observant. Before finding out the truth, look closely at your partner's posture and ask some neutral questions. Memorize the pose and pay attention to which elements of it will remain unchanged. This can be, for example, hands folded behind the head or hidden in pockets, a leg thrown over the other leg, and so on. These unchanging elements of the pose are called "sleeping points".
When the person is relaxed and feels that they are in control, the dormant points remain calm when answering neutral questions, even if the person is moving. But as soon as you ask an "uncomfortable" question, his autonomic nervous system will give an instant signal and the sleeping points will wake up - he will instinctively change their position.
Most likely, you know how active the partner's gestures are in the state of ordinary conversation, what is his facial expressions. In this case, any obvious deviations from the norm will indicate that the person is hiding something: he may gesticulate too actively or, conversely, practically become numb. It's all about the autonomic nervous system again.
Even if the liar has thought through his story well and has excellent control over facial expressions and gestures, a spontaneous provocative question is likely to catch him by surprise and help you seize the initiative. Try to interrupt his story with a question: "Why are you so tense, are you hiding something?" And look at the reaction of the interlocutor: if the behavior changes noticeably, the person gets nervous or even leaves the answer, overreacting emotionally, then your fears are not unfounded.
The first sign of lying is avoiding a direct answer to the question. Let's say you ask, "Did you steal the computer from the office?" - and you hear in response: “How could you suspect me at all? I just got out of sick leave and I can't even lift my wallet, let alone take out the whole computer. " Another liar may begin to say that he is the most respectable person in the world, or the senior in the porch, or was the headman at the university, or is friends with the district police officer.
An honest person will not list all the reasons why he can be trusted, but will simply answer the question.
A person who has nothing to cover, caught in a lie, may try to justify himself by religion. For example, if a potential thief starts to resent and give out phrases like “How could you think that I could steal something! I'm a Mormon! Mormons do not get their hands dirty with theft, ”then there is a high probability that you are facing a Mormon with double standards.
Many people naively think that a liar is easiest to recognize by his face, but there it was! Much more information is given by a person's legs. Surely you have had such situations. You sit next to the person and ask him a provocative question . In response to this, he begins to twitch his legs. Most likely, this means that he is lying.
By the way, do not forget about the starting point in all cases. There are people who almost always twitch their legs when talking.
Legs give us away very often. By the way the sole is directed, you can find out where a person wants to go. If you are talking to a person and his feet are facing the door, then it is likely that he wants to leave.
Customs officers are also trained to observe the feet. If, during a conversation with an employee, the legs are directed at him, then the person has nothing to hide. And if the feet are facing the exit, then the customs officer may suspect that the matter is unclean.
Many people think that if a person starts to lower his eyes to the floor, then he is lying. This is not true. A person may have a dozen reasons to look down. Embarrassment, for example.
Imagine: your boss calls you and asks where the reports have gone. You don't know where they went. Lower your eyes down. The very situation is that for you this is a normal reaction. Especially when you consider that your boss is sanding you, and you are a subordinate.
To betray a liar can, on the contrary, be too honest and sincere. If the person looks you straight in the eyes, too directly and sincerely, this may mean that he is lying.