Passage, a Haiku

in Steem Sri Lanka2 months ago


traces of snow
chased by the sun -
no escape


rastros de nieve
perseguidos por el sol -
no pueden escapar

FxX5caie56yqUbvo2DTJv1i6qm8z4ixTabBTrjodFyZCPuFbZDncXQB89jd6mZkWM2QSrq2ahH2DhyyNE1pjQLgqmXzcj4F36iojmAUYgMVQ 2.png

The photograph, by fellow awarded haijin @sacra97, served as the prompt for my haiku.

I wrote my haiku in English, the only language I know. Since so many Spanish speaking poets are writing haiku, and many of those translate their work into English, I used a translator, DeepL, to provide a Spanish translation of mine. I have no idea if the translation is poetic, and know that there are still too many syllables in the last line, even though I tried translations of a few different English versions of my third ku. I like the way this one rolls off my non-Spanish-speaking tongue, so there's that. But once again, it is easy to see that fewer syllables are needed for English haiku than for those in other languages.

Write one of your own! Writing haiku is not as easy as you might think, but is very rewarding. I still remember the very first haiku I ever wrote, when I was twelve years old:

in the mire of blue
lies the beauty of the sky
and the wake of day



Very cool. I like both of them very much. In the second one I don't think I would have ever considered choosing the word "mire". Gives me something to think about. I prolly would have been drawn to the word "depth" instead, which prolly won't surprise you. This btw is not meant as a criticism-..just musing.

To be honest, I can't remember the exact spelling of the word I used.

I remember from way back then that it was an archaic word that rhymed with hear. Four letters, begins with an "m", and means small lake. Mrs. Brown had to look the word up, same teacher who got REALLY PISSED AT ME when I answered her question "What is the #1 selling book of all time?" with some book by Jean Harlow that my mother had been reading at the time, which boasted on the cover that it was the #1 selling book.

Back to not me, but to my early poem: I hunted for the word briefly before posting this. I tried "mere", even worse. Thanks for that comment, you went right to the fatal flaw. That does not surprise me of you.

I thought about it all day and the only word I could think of was 'moor.' But I don't think that is the right rhyme.


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 2 months ago 

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 2 months ago (edited)

Writing haiku is not as easy as you might think, but is very rewarding.

For the first time I got to know about Haiku from Totto Chan. I loved Kabayashi teacher. Do you know them??

traces of snow
chased by the sun -
no escape

It's so nice. I love haiku. 😍. Need to read and enjoy many more haiku. Thank you for sharing with us.

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