Game review: DISTRAINT (2015)
The game that I'm going to review today is one most of you fucking virgins probably haven't heard of, it's called DISTRAINT. This game was released back in ancient days of 2015, you know, before the dark times of Corona-Chan. The game is available to play on either PS4, PC or on your phone if you're an android user. If you're flicking your nutsack wondering what DISTRAINT is, it's a 2D psychological horror game developed and published by an alpha chad named Jesse Makkonen. He pumped this baby out on his own with no help in under 3 months, which is something I consider pretty impressive. Clearly he deserves a big old smooch from all the gamers around the world for his efforts.
I'll start off by saying that this game probably isn't for any and all horror fans. If you wanna watch a zombie chew on a mans nipples while he explodes in a pile of gore, then you're going to find yourself quite flaccid. The horror of the game comes from being put into very shitty/weird situations where you make tough decisions unless you're an asshole like me. Though, there are a few jump scares sprinkled in if that kind of shit gets you moist. As an added bonus, there's actually a nice little story packaged in there that is entertaining and memorable. Shocking to hear that a horror game can have a solid story these days, right?
This next little bit is going to be somewhat spoiler like, since I'm going to describe what the game is like. But, don't be a pussy about it and stop reading if you don't want anything spoiled. You fucks. Anyways. The game is centered around the protagonist named Price. Price is a young, ambitious man full of testosterone and more than likely alcoholism. After getting himself a new job, he hopes to be able to join the higher ranks within the company. Which places him in the position of having to seize properties from people far past due on their rent. That's how the title of the game comes into play, since you're doing the process of distraint. Fun fact, eh?
The controls and gameplay mechanics are pretty straight forward. For each level you play you will have to solve puzzles to get through certain areas and collect objects while exploring. If you're worried about having to shove a pack of Pokemon cards down your urethra over puzzles, don't worry. During my time playing I can't think of a single time where a puzzle was making me tweak my nipples due to anger or frustration. There were some moments where it did take me a couple of minutes to work shit out, but unless you're literally lobotomized and have been sucking on a lead paint coated dildo, you'll be fine.
Something I really enjoyed about this game was the atmosphere and style of the game/graphics. The color palette used was a good choice, though I'm a sucker for dark tones mixed with neon colors. Seriously, I'd probably be giving out over the pants rimjobs to people if I was constantly in a dark, rainy area with neon signs. But, lets move on from that. Another good thing about the graphics is since they're 2D pixelated, you can play it without issue from anything ranging from your $10000 super ultra mega PC, all the way to a rotten potato with a battery rigged into it. Beyond the graphics, the sound design and musical score for the game help a lot with the atmosphere, and I've no complaints about them.
I suppose I should go onto the things that rubbed my asshole raw with this game. Thankfully, there isn't very much, however. One issue is that sometimes it can be difficult to find specific things you need in the world, due to the way the game lets you know when you're interacting with objects. It's supposed to pop an exclamation mark up over your head, but occasionally it doesn't for some reason. So, you'll have to do a bit of mass clicking if you get stuck. While this can be a bit annoying at times, it's nothing that I would pull my pants down and shit over or anything.
The only other negative point I have for this game is that it's really fucking short. My first playthrough of the game took around 2 and a half hours, with my following playthrough coming in at just around 2 hours. So, you won't have that much time to jerk your big old dick off while kicking people out of their houses, sadly. But, the 2.5 hours you do get are a pretty fun ride. Especially for the price point of $5, which is what I paid. Even when not on sale, it's not much more expensive than that. So, I guess I can't twist my nutsack too hard about the play time.
Overall, DISTRAINT is for sure one of the most entertaining little horror games I have played. It has a fun twist on psychological horror, and provides a very cool atmosphere throughout the entire game. The narrative is different from your typical horror game, and I appreciate it not just being the same old shit. For the price I paid for it, I would say it's hard to find another game in the same category/genre that would grease up its asshole and go to town. I would definitely say check it out if you've never had a chance to play it, it's a solid recommendation from me.
Until next time, you wholesome cuties.