"" Poetry For Beloved Father ""
I once thought you were whiny, Dad.
As soon as you cried you shed tears
when your father left us.
The runny boy did not respond to loss
because they are accustomed to seeing robots that can no longer walk
but you can still be invited to play war games.
I once thought you were mean, Dad.
So blind you beat me
until it was battered and blood from my nose was pouring out
just because I asked for two hundred silver
to buy a pack of batagor;
even then you still add it with a sharp machete
that you stuck around my neck;
if you don't hurry
my life has flown.
I hated you ever since, Dad!
We haven't spoken to each other for six years.
I never greeted you at the slightest
You never again ask me how my school is.
We are two men who are as if mute, utterly mute
because the mute is still talking
through his bodily movements, whereas we are not.
You let me do whatever I want
including bringing girls and downing drinks in my room.
Even though at that time I just wanted you to reprimand
I miss you getting angry.
But why did you let me get drunk
you let me break
So bad brat, would-be bastard?
You let me regret it myself
like you finally regretted it
your wasted youth
as a father who failed to be loved.
Sometimes, in silence I deliberately
listening to my own footsteps
just to make sure
is it true that our steps sound the same?
And it's true, I grew to be like you,
Only our paths are different.
I won't beat up my son
like you beat me.
In the twilight
I deliberately hid to tears
when I saw you carrying my son.
Your hand that used to be strong beat me
now shaking stroking your grandson's head.
When I saw my tears fell
maybe I will be considered a crybaby by my son
because I cried long before losing you.