2020 Can Go F Right Off

in SteemLeolast year

2020 hasn’t been great so far. Under the mundane every day stuff there is a layer of... 🤔 fear? It’s like my fight or flight reaction has been triggered but I’m not moving yet.

The thing is, I know the most stressful stuff this year is yet to come. The next few months are going to be hard. Like really so, so hard. I have no idea how I am going to deal.



My mom is not well. On New Year’s Eve she was rushed to the ER via ambulance. It was a terrible night. After a series of tests the doctors determined she has kidney stones. SUPER painful... but manageable. But in the midst of their tests and scans the doctors spotted something else... on a fluke really.


There is a legion. In her pancreas.

I work at a hospital... so you know,I know a doctor telling you they see a legion in your pancreas... these are NOT good words to hear. Not good words at all.


Since the initial visit to the ER she has seen a specialist, a radiologist, a surgeon and she has had a biopsy. Each of them has recommended surgery - A procedure called a Whipple. They will remove half of her pancreas, part of her stomach, part of her small intestine, the gall bladder, bile ducts, maybe some lymph nodes and possibly a bit of liver... depending what they see. The surgery is meant to take 6-8 hours. After, the chance of infection is high and she will likely be hospitalized for two weeks, with another two months of recovery.


The operation was scheduled for March 26. The shape of the growth and mom’s lack of symptoms had led the doctor’s to believe the tumor would not be cancerous. But today her biopsy results came back...


The biopsy came back as “suspicious”.

What the F does that even mean?

Getting a biopsy from the pancreas is hard. Apparently the sample wasn’t big enough for a definitive diagnosis. 😢 But the sample is suspicious. So they moved mom’s surgery up to February 7th.

Mom and dad told me this morning.

And I feel like I’m drowning...








A lot of 💩 went down today. The nurses are on strike where mom will have her operation. If they weren’t, her surgery would have been this week. Then a scheduler messed something up. So her operation is postponed to February 25. (They are trying to find an opening sooner.) Everything is spinning and uncertain. I am so sad and afraid and worried.

And we won’t even know what the growth is until after surgery. 😪

If you are a prayer, please pray for my mama.

If you have healing thoughts, please send them to my mama.

If you are an atheist, a Buddhist, a Jedi, if you worship the spaghetti monster and you have a minute... please send positivity to my mama.

Thank you.


Sending all the positive thoughts I can. Give your mum a great big kiss from me.

Remember suspicious DOES NOT mean cancer!


Thanks Welshie. Don’t you spend all day looking at suspicious cells?

The waiting sucks. Of course I suppose waiting is better than bad news. Ugh. I don’t know. 😔

Yes I will pray for your mama, and that you and the Family have Peace. If it is difficult to get a good biopsy take a deep breath, I am not in your shoes I know @dfinney, but it's not conclusive that's good!
Focus on that my dear friend.....

Thanks @silvertop. Definitely holding onto that now, but it is hard to keep the mind from thinking about all the possibilities. 😔

Been there.....One day at a time.....

We're keeping you and your family in our thoughts. Hope everything works out for the better @dfinney. All Hail the Spaghetti Monster. 🍝🍝🍝

Thanks VG. If any deity has the power leave it to the Spaghetti Monster. ❤️

First thing on my To Do List. @dfinney (FYI I am of Fellowship Baptist, really.)

Thank you so much @kerrislravenhill. I know you know better than me the challenges of health scares and problems with parents. XO

Ah, @dfinney, I am so sorry your mom has to go through all this and you guys get to watch and wait while she does. This sort of thing is never easy. Know that you have this entire community behind you. I will be, and I know everyone else will be too, praying for your mom, your dad, you and your husband and your entire family. Lots of love and hugs are here for you.🤗💕🤗 God's peace be with you all.

Thanks @elizabethbit. We appreciate your prayers, love, hugs, friendship.... all the things. 🤗

You are very welcome. Let us know how things are. Take care sweet lady🤗🤗💐🤗🤗

I shall bombard the heavens with prayers for your Mom, my sis @dfinney! I know that it is difficult and I will be praying for you and your entire family.
Luv ya, sis.

Thank you so much. I know you are a prayer so I appreciate you saving a little section of that for my mom and family. ❤️

... and I shall continue to do so, my dear @dfinney!

Sending lots of love to you and your family. May we all have the strength to survive this year, and may it get better!

Thank you. And cheers to that! 🥂

I will send some positive ZEN vibes over. Hope it helps.

Thank you so much @goldrooster. 🎍🎏

I will send you and your ma many positive thoughts.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, I will pray for her to get the surgery asap and a full recovery. Stay strong for your mama during these trying times, your the best gift she has no matter what happens and she needs you to be more than ever now. I wish you and your familly the best of luck and a happy ending. Much love and big hugz. xox

Thank you so much @ ladybug146 ❤️

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I'm atheist... so, I'm afraid that the best that I can do is to send positive thoughts and the hope that someone there can help. Spend some good time with her...

Thanks @bengy. I hope so too.