in Steem Inspiration2 months ago


Hello guys, how was/is your day going? If good, thank God, but if not, thank God still. You are doing well. I would love to let you guys in on what my life was like while living in fear of the opposite sex. I grew up to have a good personality that was not void of timidity. I was a shy cat while in my secondary school days. Do you know that someone could be shy and yet a bully? That was what my personality was like. People thought I was tough, but I had a weakness - fear of ladies, especially beautiful ladies. My presentation as a bully was able to shade what was going on within me. One won’t notice, except they were careful observers. And some careful observers saw through. I felt strong around my fellow boys and ladies, who were not attractive to me. There was this one girl I always loved to call “principal” because I thought she is not beautiful. Hilarious, isn’t it? I bet it is. It’s all in the past now. But this seemingly strong dude could not talk to a beautiful lady. I couldn't stand talking to a beautiful lady, let alone bullying one. These are the series of things that happened to me when I tried talking to one: instant headache, followed by sweaty hands, a pounding heart, and shaky knees. All these reactions worked harmoniously to produce a stutterer. Gosh! I would stutter and try to find my words. My mouth would become too light to hold words. I didn’t know why this happened but it made me feel very bad. Rather than have my ego deflated by such an encounter, I prevented it altogether. As time went by, I got into the university with such fear. Psychologists call it venustraphobia, that is, fear of beautiful girls. If you have ever been within the four walls of a university, you would know that someone with such fears would have a hard time coping. It wasn’t funny at all in my first year. Sometimes I felt like screaming out something like “mama!”. This attribute made me look like I was proud because I always withdrew myself from ladies, even on very social occasions. I always looked quiet and serious. At some point, I got fed up. I gave myself a tough assignment, which was to talk to at least two beautiful ladies a day. Most of the stalking was done at night because it felt safer. Not the best talks but it was worth it. I had to recite what I was going to say, but even at that, words were sometimes not forthcoming. Gradually I began to see the reality of my fears. I did not become social with ladies overnight, because even to date, I am not, but my little exercise helped me to understand that my fears were not necessary. On and on I got better at talking, not just to ladies but male folks. Another monster in the room that accompanied venustraphobia at that time was glossophobia (fear of public speaking). I was not only able to overcome my fear for beautiful ladies across time, but I also overcome the fear of public speaking which also was a burden to me.

My advice to anyone with any of these fears is to plan well before speaking and learn to act in face of your fear. Sometimes these fears don’t just go away permanently, but your ability to act even when experiencing these fears is what gives you the victory. I have heard of pro-speakers who say these forms of fear never fully go away, but they go-ahead to do what they’ve got to do. So, don’t wait until the fear is gone before you act, but act while experiencing the fear, and you will notice that action cures fear.
Thank you for reading


Hi, @elvis101,

Your post has been supported by @boss75 from the Steem Greeter Team.

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