I'm Not 'ME' Anymore...?!?!?!? (So Sad...)
So, yeah... It finally happened; I'm not 'me' any longer; at least not here on Steemit...!!! As a matter of fact, I'm not 'me' on some other Social Media platforms either!!! That's why I stay away from most of them, because I hate to always be reminded of my 'Multiple Personality Disorder'
My Psychiatrist - Dr. Shrinkwrap M.D. told me that not all people or malamutes who suffer from the disorder have different names attached to their various personalities, like Sybil did. In my case, I'm the type who uses a mere variation of @Angryman, like just separating out Angry and man for instance to form Angry Man. Or, slip in a hyphen to look like this angry-man.
There's a bunch of other varieties I tend to use when I'm slipping in and out of my delusional state of mind, but you're probably smart enough to figure them out, so I'll spare you the burden of listing more, which might insult your intelligence (Like some authors do)
ANYWAYzzzzzzzz......Just the other day, soon after signing in to Steemit.com, I had another one of those "jaw dropping moments". There upon the glowing screen of my laptop, the user name @angry-man was staring straight out at me- in mockery...!!!
WTF...?!?!?!?!? of course was my initial reaction...
So, I clicked on that hyphenated near facimile version of my name, looming before these weary, old eyes of mine and... à ma grande surprise... there on the page before me was 'ME'... but, it was not me; at least not that I was able to remember...?!?!?!?
Scrolling down the list of articles posted since about nine days prior, there I was, writing stuff of which seemed similar to what I might put to pen or keypad- yet, somewhat suspicious.
THEN, within a few minutes of irritating, baffled thought, it occurred to me what had happened; I obviously formed a new account here on the platform, while in a psychotic stupor of sorts...
Of course, you can imagine the anger I felt at myself in that moment. "How can you do this to yourself @AngryMan...???"
"Have you no sense of morality...?!?!?!? Have you gone completely afoul of human decency; impersonating yourself...?!?!?!?"
These were some of the self-abased, reprimands which circled my tender cranium, in rapid fire. I was completely appalled and left laying upon the floor kicking and screaming like a lunatic. Flipping onto my stomach, I beat my fists upon the wooden floor boards, until they sprung violently upward, having been loosed from their dusty, century old anchoring!!!
Having one of the solid, oak boards spring up and slap me across the face repeatedly, served to help temper my rage; momentarily.
I had no choice, but to right myself up- as dazed and bruised as I was- plop back down in front of the laptop and begin firing off angry-laced comments and downvotes to myself.... It was the first time in my history of near four years on this platform that I cast a single downvote to ANYONE, let alone a downvote to 'MYSELF'...!!!
But... It had to be done... I had to show myself and the world, that I did not appreciate nor tolerate such negative behavior from anyone, especially not from my alter-ego.
Upon completion of that task, it occurred to me that I must write a post within the @xpilar community (in which this fake angry-man appeared) and warn the masses of the injustice I'd served upon myself, the community and platform as a whole... I sought to rectify any confusion from wrong my sick actions may have bestowed upon any AngryMan followers, friends... up-voters and commenters alike.
The only venomous response I received though, was from 'ME', who wasn't 'ME', but was me as angry-man, who really doesn't exist. Except in cyberspace... and... my delusional mind... Angry-man called me a "Dick". He then went into a tirade, laced with profanities in an attempt to seemingly vent; of which I'm quite accustomed to- I spout such harsh vocals to myself all the time.
Others who responded with comments, sought to calm me from myself... They suggested I merely accept angry-man as perhaps a little brother to AngryMan and allow both of ourselves to proceed peacefully. Xpilar also indicated that the variation of user name, is not a violation of any rules here on Steemit, so there was little else to do about it.
So that's what I'm doing, my friends... I'm allowing 'me' to be 'me', and 'him' to be 'me' as well, because after all... I'm 'me' and he's 'he' for as long as we're both me, regardless how confusing it might seem.
I'm quite certain my 'Shrink' will help me understand and cope with the situation on my next visit to her office. When I was there for an emergency 'psychotic episode' appointment yesterday, she told me,
"I'M not in the mood to hear any crazy crap from any of my looney patients today, you nut-case... Come back in a few days, when I might be feeling better."
Of course I chose to abide by her suggestion, otherwise, I might loose her as a therapist and she's the cheapest one in town... She may not be very good at what she does, but at least she's able to prescribe me drugs, which 'do' help somewhat- except for when they're the wrong drugs for my Multi-Personality disorder.
A few months ago, she prescribed me the wrong drugs and I signed up at a multitude of Social Media platforms under various AngryMan variances, which in turn caused me to be barred from most of them by the 'Cyber-Police' for five weeks. She apologized in a way, yet told me I should be grateful that the wrong drugs she prescribed, didn't kill me...
I guess she's right...???
I don't know?
But, I do know that it's time for me to end this dumb post and take a nap; so that's what I'll do.
Images: Compliments of Pixabay.com