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RE: "Stolen Experiences:" The Trap of Doing Things Other People's Way!

in WORLD OF XPILAR5 months ago

Sounds rather similar to my own path.

I was also ridiculously wishy-washy by the time I left home, and pretty much had to create my own self-identity at the point because I had never been allowed to have one.

Our adult kids are pretty good and well adjusted human beings, too... and unlike many who came from controlling parents who did the whole "helicopter parenting" thing, our kids willingly come home and spend the weekends regularly because they want to and like being here. And I think that says a lot about the approach of letting them largely find their own way. If there was a thing I'd perhaps change it would be that we were a little to eager to protect them from the consequences of their less fortunate choices.

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Yes, my kids come home often even though they live pretty far away. That has been quite a blessing through covid, or I would have spent too much time alone for my sanity.

As for controlling parents, the worst of those who we still have regular gathering with still control whether or not their adult children can have dessert, based on how much of the other food they have eaten. It is the strangest thing. We can be sitting at a table of fifteen, and one of these parents will be watching what their offspring eat. I remember one time, when all the kids were young, the kids were excited because they were going to be allowed to have Skittles after the meal. When the time came to pass the Skittles out, each child, mine included, was allowed to choose ONE Skittle. lol. Their kids had massive candy stashes at home. I found out later that the adults had candy stashes of their own too.