Mental Health: Healing Comes to Those Who Sincerely WANT to Heal!
As a counselor and minister, one of the things I have come to accept over the years is that not everybody actually wants to heal.
Maybe it sounds ridiculous to think that a person can be ”addicted” to suffering, but the field of psychology has many examples to show that sometimes people would rather remain stuck in their complex than seek new and better ways to live.
It's not so much that they like being in pain as the fact that they are afraid to change a "known" pattern.
There's an old truism that it sometimes feel safer to be with the ”known devil” than to jump out in the unknown. A lot of times people are just more comfortable staying with ”what they know,” even if what they know can be quite painful.
We often see that with people who choose to stay in highly abusive situations, and no amount of persuasion and promises can get them to change their minds... till they are ready to do so.
To that end, there is no amount of good advice that does any good if somebody is not open and receptive to the potential healing that advice can offer.
There are numerous reasons for why this happens. Many of them are results of patterns learned in childhood. People who grew up in abusive situations will often end up having a skewed view of reality as adults. That can include thinking that horrendous behaviors are actually normal and acceptable. And so, they are likely to make decisions that caused them to repeat the painful patterns of their childhood, rather than making wiser choices that would allow them to live happier lives.
Part of my own growth process was coming to terms with the fact that no matter how much I might want it to be otherwise I simply wouldn't be able to help everyone. It took me a number of years to recognize that simply because somebody didn't take my good advice, didn't mean there was a failing on my part, but instead had to do with ingrained patterns in the client that had to be healed before my advice would do any good.
The real growth started to happen when I no longer felt compelled to take on what you might consider ”hopeless cases.”
Was that an uncharitable choice? Not really. Instead, I choose to think of it as putting my energy and efforts where they can result in the highest and best outcome for people, particularly people who genuinely wish to be healed.
Thanks for reading and Bright Blessings to all!
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