How to stop imitating others and find your personality.
In this article you will learn:
The voice of nature: the instinct of baking is genetics;
Psychological aspects of imitation;
How to stop copying others and confidently become yourself.
In a world where the rich and famous dictate fashion and lifestyle, each of us, by virtue of our own abilities, strives to correspond to a “worthy level”. Imitation in the general context is a completely normal social phenomenon. However, in an effort to seem better, some choose a curved imitation format. In pursuit of the image of the idol, they completely dissolve in his personality and lose their own. How to find your personality and become an object of imitation yourself, we will tell in this article.
Is it OK to imitate
The desire to be like someone is not a personality defect. It can be observed throughout the history of mankind. However, sometimes it has a very funny origin. For example, white powdered wigs became fashionable among European nobles of the 18th century only because the then king of France turned completely gray. And the tendency among 19th century gentlemen to rely on an elegant cane was caused by the desire to imitate everyone's beloved Lord Byron, who had suffered from pathology of the musculoskeletal system since childhood.
Not so long ago, science has confirmed that the desire to resemble others is inherent in us with genetics. In Italy in 1992, in the course of research by the scientist Giacomo Rizzolatti, an amazing fact was revealed: very specific brain substances, the so-called mirror neurons, are responsible for imitating others. Their action explains the fact that we want to yawn at the sight of a yawning or reach for food, watching someone eat a delicious treat.
Thanks to the work of mirror neurons, society becomes a victim of the global marketing industry. Product advertising, the latest fashion trends, luxury lifestyle propaganda. For all this, our psyche is “led” not because we really need these products, but from the herd instinct dictated by the action of mirror neurons.
I want to be you: psychological aspects of imitation
To explain why we imitate charismatic personalities, genetics alone is the same as justifying a person with the last stage of obesity by having a wide bone. Inspiring someone else and borrowing its elements is not at all shameful if the image of a person at the same time only wins. Another thing is going to extremes when it is replaced by an unhealthy obsession. The most striking example is Jocelyn Wardenstein, the infamous catwoman who lowered her husband’s tremendous fortune into plastic and turned herself into a living monster.
Such terrible transformations occur not only externally, but also internally. The reasons why we imitate others are sufficient, but they are all based on low self-esteem.Who tends to devalue their own personality to try on someone else's life:
To people whom parents in their childhood regularly and with condemnation set as an example for other children;
Those whose achievements were taken for granted and exceeded;
Victims of bullying in childhood;
People subject to total control by their parents;
People who subconsciously do not accept the parent of their gender or the whole family as a whole;
People come from dysfunctional families.
All these negative factors can devalue, destroy the potential of the individual and turn its unique qualities into a heavy burden. As a result, a person seeks to dissolve himself in the image of the one whom he has chosen as an idol. In adolescence, many are prone to this. But if the trend does not disappear over the years, we can safely say that there is a psychological problem.
How to stop imitating others and becoming yourself
If you saw a beautiful manicure on another girl and wanted it for yourself - this is normal. If the posts of sports beauties from Instagram prompt you to limit yourself in the consumption of harmful food and enroll in the hall - this is normal. You cultivate and grow on yourself thanks to good examples.
It’s not normal if you get used to the image of another person, in your opinion, better than you, and you live the way he would do it. You follow the object of desire in social networks, copy his manner of behavior, dress, relax. And at the same time, do not wonder what all this has directly to you. In other words, you dissolve in another person.
When this kind of obsession gets out of hand, spoiling the lives of you and your loved ones, the best option is to turn to a good psychotherapist. If you feel that this stage is far away, but the loss of personality makes you sad, use the advice given by specialists in the field of psychology and self-development.
Make friends with you
The internal conflict, which creates the habit of copying, is caused by dissatisfaction with one's own appearance, material well-being, and other inconsistencies with the ideal. It's time to break the vicious circle and shift the perspective of perception from condemnation by impartial observation. Surely, moving away, you will see that you are minimizing your positive qualities and fanning the flaws to the extent of universal tragedy. Believe me, on earth there are a lot of people who could happily imitate you, have what you have, look like you. Awareness of this fact is encouraging. Let it be the first step towards yourself.
Make your own choices
It is very difficult for people whose self-esteem to depreciate in childhood to make decisions without the intervention of authoritative personalities. They stopped hearing themselves for the sake of society, choosing the role of followers. Uncertain people seek approval and acceptance. That is why they often choose to copy ready-made images. Make an effort on yourself and accept all responsibility for the consciously made choice for yourself. Ask: What exactly do I want? And honestly answer this question. Perhaps at first it will cause bewilderment of others and even difficulties in relationships. But then they have no choice but to accept you. And you respect yourself and get the long-awaited confidence in your own worth.
Collect the image from the puzzles
Blind copying of an ideal model is boring. In addition, it completely destroys individuality. It is much more interesting to create an image, inspired by several examples. It is not shameful to rely on successful images, since you will have a large field for creativity and imagination. How to determine your personality? The main thing is to take really worthwhile examples as a basis. When creating yourself, start from emotional feelings, discarding the inner critic. Freedom of choice is our birthright.
Become a selfish
Egoism in this context is not considered as a spit on others, but as the right to be oneself. How to find personality? Allow yourself the freedom to choose what you like without regard to the opinions of others. And throw away your fears. May you not care. And as an inspiring example, successful people whose appearance tears standards to pieces will serve as inspirational examples. Remember Bjork, Jennis Joplin, Dani de Vito, Rowan Atkinson, Jean Aguzarov and others. They reached the top because without fear they declared to the world: I am I, and I have the right to be myself.
Become a role model yourself
Social networks are a modern way of communicating and delivering information, so you can’t disdain this unlimited resource. Has it ever occurred to you why you follow interesting personalities on social networks, and not vice versa? It's time to change the angle of attention and focus it on yourself. If you created an original and interesting collective image, you were able to competently teach it and convey to the world yours and not others' opinions, then very soon you will feel the attention from the outside. Keeping a page on social networks, avoid "stamped" posts, and write them yourself. As for the photo, the limit of creative experiments here is limited only by flight of imagination. Let your profile be “live” without template “selfies” and memorized photo shoot poses. Do not be afraid to smile at 32, be ridiculous, funny, mysterious, serious or sad. Every day is different, but, most importantly, by yourself. All this fully applies to real life.
“Pumping” charisma does not mean following in the footsteps of charismatic people. This is painstaking, difficult work, which ultimately will pay off handsomely, and you will feel the freedom and pleasure of life!