The Secret To Perfecting Your Art: Stop Trying
Here’s a fun fact about me.
I hated singing. With a vengeance.
I started singing when I was 5 - and singing went on its own little drive in my life where I find myself constantly onstage sharing this gift of mine to the world.
Then the dark knight of the soul came.
Perfectionism took over. Not to mention, professionalism.
Singing became a way of bringing in the money. And with it, came the need for perfection.
Passion became blurred with the striving of needing to become so good at this art.
There is a tunnel vision of ‘being the best singer’ out there so I can get the gigs. Never mind that my mum is one of the best singer I have known.
So, I just had to get better because it is what others would expect of me.. Of course, I must make my mother happy too, yes?
The Grinding Halt
Needless to say, I eventually stopped singing. Going on stage to sing would give me nervous breakdowns, while it would do wonders for me if it’s only for addressing a crowd, or public speaking.
It would be a good 7 years after before I finally start singing again.
Years of heartache. Years of insecurity. Nights of self-bashing, tears and pain. Wishing I could be better. Feeling like I am not good enough, and just feeling like I want to give singing up.. - and for good.
But what changed? Clearly something did.
Beginning of this year, I came into contact with my voice again. Teeteringly a little cautiously, a little warily, I find myself being in front of my own camera in my little room, toying about with the idea of bringing my voice into the world again - and this time, on my own terms.
Fast forward two months in, I found myself singing again, performing. (Also thanks a lot to Steemit music event - yes, it pays to have encouraging friends.) I found a different edge to my new found voice. I sense a difference in the way I carried myself whilst I sing.
I realised that I no longer cared that much how I “looked” in singing.
I observe myself growing comfortably into my own skin, feeling my voice, and feeling right in place with myself.
It is like being reborn again in an area of my life that has been dead for a while.
I am actually enjoying singing way more than I ever did before.
So here are my secrets to perfecting my craft.
#1. I stopped trying to be someone else.
Whose life are you living? Are you living your parents’, spouses’, bosses’, girlfriends’, boyfriends’, business partners’, role models’ lives? Or are you living yours?
Who are you “trying” to become? To emulate because you admire them, and perhaps just because that’s how things have always been done? Are you pushing against something you are not?
Remember : Not everyone's destinies are the same. No one life path will look the same. What someone else have done and did, might not be suitable for you.
You are born with your individual unique gift, with your own unique voice. Just because you don’t know what it is doesn’t mean it’s not there.
You just haven’t found it yet.
#2. I allow myself to embrace my flaws and imperfections.
I say “Yes” to my limitations, rather than “No". In my case, I accept that I am not the best singer out there with beautiful model looks, and I am not born with a Whitney Houston voice. I don’t like my high pitched shrills but I don’t have to push at it if I don’t like it. I just have to find what sounds good and work at it.
What do you need to embrace about you? Can you look at your flaws and imperfections, own up to it, and be totally okay with them? Even laugh at them?
#3. I work with my strengths.
Following the above point, after I start owning up to what I am not good at, I search for what I know sounds good and what works for me. I decided that my voice sounded best when I don’t push it to be specific way - and I realised that years of “trying” so hard to perfect my craft has also craved out a certain edge to my voice. Only that perhaps I could have arrived at the same destination without all the battles and struggles.
Do you know research has also shown that the brain learns best when it is relaxed?
What are your strengths in your craft? Can you polish and fine tune it to become even better?
The Problem with Trying - What are we really trying to become??
The thing is, there is nothing bad about “trying”. But it's about what you are “trying” to be, do or have.
Are you trying to work at what you want to become? Or - are you trying to become what someone else is expecting of you?
If the latter is the case, I can tell you that the path to satisfaction, fulfilment and enjoyment isn’t down this way. You’re welcome.
Are you trying to do what someone else is doing?
No one person is built the same way. Just because they have done it and tons others are screaming and shouting from the rooftops, applauding that it is “the” right way, doesn't mean it will work for you. Or it might - just not without much struggles and going up-hill.
Besides, why do it the hard way when you could probably find a better way to do it?
Think outside the box, my friend.
What else are you trying to have?
Are you looking to have something just because society have it? Do you really want it anyway?
What do you want?
Who are you really wanting to become in your passions and projects?
More of You ? To become a little more unique in your craft and passions?
News Flash :
You can only become truly different and uniquely You when you stop trying to be what you are not.
Be Uniquely You.
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