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RE: In desperate need of your opinion. Am I the loser my family believes I am?

in #life4 years ago

Well I think they try to get you to be the best you can be. But as it is, they are biased and might be ancient in their thinking that they don't see the opportunities that you can see and have. I consider it that way, that they are worried. You showed them what you do, but I guess they measure your results. And right now, rationally speaking, you have nothing to show, but a few numbers on a display and some titles of not yet profitable companies. And I don't know for how long they have helped you out financially. (I guess all your life). They want you to be independent and doing what you will give you a stable and good life. They made a path for you, but you chose a different one. I don't think this is about love. I think this about the fact that they helped you a lot. And now they are pissed, because it looks like you disrepected their assistance. But they want you to be successful, and I am also sure you will be successful. In my view, this hardship that you go through now is nescessary for you to become the best you. And I think it is even harder for them to critizise you than you think. Keep your head up, Bro!

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I think you are right, my parents might be like that and I was thinking to much about what my sister said. It really might be their narrow mindedness that prevents them form seeing what I see. You can't set the path for someone else and expect them to follow that path and then get pissed if they chose their own path. How unfair is that? They get pissed because I didn't follow the path they set for me? Am I the asshole here because I didn't follow that path? That's certainly how my sister wanted to describe me.
The choices I had been given on the path my parents set for me were limited. I mean options were ridiculous ! I could have had only a girlfriend of the same nationality, I and her would have needed to have the same religion and follow other stupid rules. You know me well and you know I broke every rule possible. You remember "poor dad, rich dad"? It's the "poor dad" mentality they have. Go to school, get good grades, go to university and get a good job and work your ass off for someone else's benefit. Adding the extra "Get a nice wife of the same nationality and religion and you will be happy" card to that. You know, at some point I can't take them serious anymore. I feel their concern but their reasoning can't be taken seriously.

PS: You have seen the "numbers on a display". You know I could use them and play "Hauptmann von Köpenick" with them. They might change their opinion but that would be soooo superficial!

Are you able to forgive them?

If they stop fucking around, sure.

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