#Fearless Parenting - Connection before Discipline

in #life3 years ago (edited)

Most parents are scared that without discipline, their kids will become 'spoiled brats'. If we don't discipline them, how will they learn?

The truth is, children don't learn by being disciplined, they learn by looking at what we do; and especially how we treat them. If we are kind to them, they will be kind to others. If we respect them, they will be respectful. They only need a little guidance to excel, but most importantly, they need to trust us.

If our children are good because they are scared of us, this leverage is short-lived. When they reached the terrible teenage years, we have lost them.
The most important thing we can do for our kids is to build a strong relationship with them.


Children who have a real connection with their parents will be reluctant to disappoint them and will trust their guidance before the influence of their friends. These two things alone can help them remain balanced through their adolescence and beyond.
Unfortunately, every time we discipline our kids by punishing them, we let them think that we are not on their side, we hurt our connection and their trust.

There are many ways to teach our children without punishing them, and I will go into those details in later posts, but for now, let's all focus on building a very strong bond with our kids.

Daily homework

Turn off your phone and the TV, forget about everything else and give your child twenty minutes of your undivided attention.

Thank you for reading!

Until next time, Steem on!


Steemit Bloggers
Join us @steemitbloggers
Animation By @zord189


You're right but the place of discipline can not be ruled out in the upbringing of a child. Discipline passes the seriousness of some messages more to the child than just mere talk. Yes, be a good role model to your kids but don't forget to discipline in love when ever they seem to be going overboard in their behaviors

yes you are right

such a great post. Children need to feel connected to their parents or guidians to avoid hiding things that are vital to their well-being.

excellent contribution, to put into practice in the upbringing of our children

Brilliantly put @corina

I've always tried to teach my daughter the respectful way to be with other people and I do not use violence, emotional blackmail or bribery to discipline her.

I have seen it so often at schools that I have worked at, kids using a physicality first approach or being spiteful. 9 times out of 10 when you meet the parent/s you then understand why that child reacts how they do. Children do as we do and not so much of what we say.

Sometimes its the easy choice to use these other measures because, short term, it will work but as you have said, it will come back and haunt you. Mutual respect and the fear of disappointing one another is the best way forward.

Thanks for posting.


@corina, your post was right on time, I needed a reminder of this wisdom. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

Very good post! An excellent reminder. It is just too easy to get swept away with the challenges of day-to-day living and parenting, not to mention structured activities. We have to remember to be more parent, less taxi driver!

Yes thats true

Great post! I agree with you but I think discipline is a little necessary. Sometimes and at certain age (like my daughter of 2 years), the exemple and the discussion aren't enough, we have to pass by withdrawal for 2 minutes. At this age they are testing. Be careful I don't say all the day we use the withdrawal! I think less you use it more impact there is.

Yes ur blog is filled with current scenario....i loved it...i love you......

Nice post!! But i think discipline is also needed especially during adolescence,the children at this stage always push for freedom to grow therefore less receptive to their parent influence and more resistant to their authority. So i think a little discipline at this stage will teach the teenager sufficient self-discipline to ultimately be able to independently and responsibly manage themselves.

This was quite profound and straight to the point. Spending more time with out kids helps us to connect with them. Also showing them that we trust them and respect them instead of punishing them all the time goes a long way in building the influence we have over them.

I learnt a few tips from this post, am not a mother yet though, but am trying to practise and learn this things with my 4 year old nephew.

Thanks for sharing!

Insightful post.. thanks