Do you devalue yourself? Stop comparing yourself to others

in #life5 years ago (edited)

Let's all be honest here.  We often compare ourselves to others.  Men not so often, but women constantly compare themselves with their friends or with supermodels.  We live in a comparing world.  Always striving to look different, or to be like someone else.  

     

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Why do we want to be like others?  

Who decided what the perfect woman or man looks like?  Do you realize how boring it would have been if we all looked the same, or did the same things, or even have the same interests? 

People just have the tendency to be or look like someone else.  They compare families, they compare looks, and they compare body parts.  Well, basically we compare everything!  We often look at the lives of others and think, what if I can do the same?  Alternatively we look at someone and think...I never want to look like that, or I don't want to do what they are doing....is that not judging someone? The sad fact of the matter is that we all do it.  

Who of you have ever  looked at a picture of someone and thought....I wish I can look like that!

                                                         

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We all strive to perfection.  We are never satisfied with what we have and we always try and change.  I am not saying that trying to improve yourself is wrong, on the contrary....we have to better ourselves, and we have to strive towards better things, but to be like someone else is not a way of improving ourselves. If you try to be like someone else, how is that improvement?  Individuality will be thrown out of the window, uniqueness will be kicked in the butt.  

We should all just make peace with the fact that we were all born differently.  Everybody is not equal, and everyone is in their own way an example to others.  

To compare yourself to others is time consuming and it drains your energy!

How can we change this behavior of constant comparing?  

  • Except yourself for who you are.  Don't try and change yourself.  I have seen this on Steemit. I used to compare my writing to others and see why they are recognized and not me. I came to conclusion that there are different writing styles, and the right people will eventually recognize me and follow me. 
  •  Create your own route to follow.  We are all destined for something and we are all here for a reason.  Find your path to follow.  We all have our own destination to reach so why try and reach someone elses destination?  We all have dreams and goals....follow YOUR dreams and achieve YOUR own goals.  You can't reach someone elses goals....that will not make you happy. 
  • Strive towards happiness.  Do what you have to do to be happy!  If you strive to look like someone else, will that make you happy?  My friend wanted to lose weight.  She tried everything, and eventually went for a gastric bypass.  She lost all the weight, and guess what...she is still not happy!
  • Appreciate what you have.  Be grateful for what you have in life.  There are many less fortunate people that possibly strive to be just like you! Ever thought about that???  Your children might see you as an example and they want to be just like you....
  • Change your attitude towards life.  Be the best you can be with what you have.  Make the most with what you've got.  Get to know yourself.  Use what you have to change yourself into the person you should be. If you want to lose weight, then do so, if you want a facelift or a new nose, do that, but do it because you want it, not because you want someone elses nose!  

Humans were not created equal.  We have various colors, sizes, shapes, and even have different levels of intelligence.  We are all UNIQUE.

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Some interesting comparison quotes: 

 “How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy.”   
 ―     Marcus Aurelius,      Meditations  
      “Comparison is the death of joy.”   
 ―     Mark Twain 
 “Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.”   
 ―     Shannon L. Alder 

And the most important one for writers here on Steemit:

 “Don't always be appraising yourself, wondering if you are better or  worse than other writers. "I will not Reason and Compare," said Blake;  "my business is to Create." Besides, since you are like no other being ever created since the beginning of Time, you are incomparable. ”   
 ―     Brenda Ueland

Life is a process.  Sometimes we are not happy, and difficult things cross our paths, but life is just life.  Take it one day at a time and BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE FOR YOU! Be incomparable!!!

In the end, it does not matter if you were rich or poor, ugly or beautiful, fat or thin....we all go into the same grave.  

                                            

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Thank you for writing this! excellent!

Why do we want to be like others?

Because we are social animals striving to better ourselves in respect to our peers

Who decided what the perfect woman or man looks like?

Evolution. There are objective metrics of physical fitness such as facial symmetry. Also the environment dictates what is desirable and what it is not in the same way you decide about movies and music

Do you realize how boring it would have been if we all looked the same, or did the same things, or even have the same interests?

Thing is, the people who chase the ideal, chase what is rare that it is impossible to get everyone to be the same. On the other hand if we follow your example and everyone stops trying then we will all be the same. Come on. work that logic a bit.

I am not saying that trying to improve yourself is wrong, on the contrary....we have to better ourselves, and we have to strive towards better things, but to be like someone else is not a way of improving ourselves.

Even if you try you cannot be like someone else. People like to emulate characteristics not exactly copy someone else.

Except yourself for who you are. Don't try and change yourself.

Life is all about change. You are doing life wrong.

Create your own route to follow. We are all destined for something and we are all here for a reason. Find your path to follow.

That means change

@kyriacos thanks for your comment! I agree with everything you say....change is good, but do we really have to change according to what society prescribes? If we just follow our own path and be who we are supposed to be, life will be so much easier. Age changes the way we think and act, and I have come to an age where I don't care what people think...I usually just do what I want...LOL!

The wonderful thing about aging (as there must be a counterbalance), is you start caring less and less about what others think of you. Nature has it covered, but for those that are younger, they would benefit greatly if they adopted this earlier in life.

HI @kyusho I agree with you. Once we get older we start to think and see things differently ....

Lovely article. One thing though - us men are just as bad. Remember, looks don't mean much for us but earning power, social stance and personality are big players. We be big in the judgement department too. Glad you're passed that. Judge less, think about others less in my opinion.

Lovely that you have deciphered for yourself that everyone has their own writing styles - some of the biggest earners in writing, I just can't get my head around, but that's cool, you know, eventually you'll have your own style and following - capitalise on that. :)

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If we all go into the grave then why bother with life? What if you're someone who is basically born to be a background character in a movie or in life? If you have no goals or things that you love doing then what do you do? I'm not trying to be rude, I just don't know what to do.

You need to do things that you like. Be the actor not the background character! I agree with you on why bother with life...but we are here, so make the most of it while you still can!