It's “okay” to fail sometimes (even many times):

in #life3 years ago

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Have you been trying something for a very long time?

And not been able to do it since the prolix era? I know, it's not the first time you have failed. I know, you have tried to rise again and again after each fiasco. And now, are you tired of all this hectic failing and rising process? If then, there is something you should really know. Do you know that's it's really "okay" to fall? Just like is "okay" to get crazy sometimes, just like it's "okay" to break the rules sometimes and just like it's "okay" to be sad sometimes, it's really "okay" to fail sometimes (well it's could also be "many times"). Just like you would never realize how happy you have been until you strike something else, the value of success is also not so acknowledged well until you have been failed many times.
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It's something like, haven't you tried to do the same thing again in a superior way? Haven't things been convalescent in the last try then in the first one? Hadn't you felt more experienced this last time rather than the previous one? And if you had, you are probably on the right path and just need few more failure before you finally collect some strength for the ultimate success. So, brace yourself to face few more tragedies and few more failures before you finally reach to the top of your dreams.

And, if you think previous fails have not been of any use, you just need to redress for yourself. A new way to start shall always direct to the new ending. Just be prepared that the new path might also direct to the rout ending than the previous one, and you might have to take one more path. But when you finally reach the top, you will realize that each of your efforts has been worth something. So in the end, you would be the most experienced one, and the strongest one.
Oh, don't you remember the time when you were just a little child and couldn't walk by yourself, and your mom made you take tiny steps? Yeah, I know you can’t recollect those memories, but your mom does. And the fact is she never counted the number of times you fail, but just kept on making you stand on your feet. She had a faith that someday you can run on your foot. Can you imagine that you probably would have been creeping even now if she had given upon you back then? Just like, your dreams might never be able to stand on if you don’t give up on them now.
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Some famous person once said “A stone is broken by the last stroke of the hammer. This doesn’t mean that the first stroke is useless. Success is the result of continuous and persistent efforts”. All these failures you facing at the moment is just the initial stroke of hummers until your stone is prepared for the last one. So, now get up, think again and brace yourself for a better start.

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Dude. You're 23. 23!! You know what that means? Your life has barely begun! 3 years is nothing compared to what's ahead of you! Your life could be completely different in 3 months, let alone 3 years or 23 years!

Sure you could've done better in the past, but that's true for everyone. But what's done is done and you can't change the past. There's no use in ranting, wallowing in self-pity or mentally abusing past-you for making mistakes. That won't change anything. Also, it's not true you're failing - you have a job, you have a place to live, you manage to pay rent and bills. That's more than many people out there manage to do!

What you can change is the present and the future. You know the saying - the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the next best time is now.

You say you're so over this - good! Snap out of it now and do something good for yourself immediately. Look up counseling/mental health services at your college. Or your doctor's office. Call them and set up an appointment right now. They'll know what to do, so it doesn't matter if you "don't know how to express yourself". It's possible you're facing depression, and they'll know what the next steps are. Your job is to set up the appointment. If it's the middle of the night, email them. Or write down their number and put it next to your phone and call them first thing in the morning.

Then turn off your PC/phone immediately. Tidy up your place a little (physical clutter is linked to mental clutter and doing something right now will give you a boost to feel better about doing something more next) and then go to bed. Get a good night's sleep.

Tomorrow, eat a healthy breakfast and then do something that gets you one step closer to any of your goals. You don't have to change your whole life in one day, but you do have to take one step in the right direction. Even the longest trip begins with the first step. Don't think about everything you need to do to get there, just keep taking one step after another.

Alright, now stop reading this and go make that call.

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