Losing someone you love is the worst feeling ever... :'(

in #life3 years ago (edited)


Hey steemians i hope you're having a great day / evening because i had the worst day of my life today.
Read my story bellow:

My grandmother (my father's mother) died in the morning at 7:10 am.

My family called me but they didn't tell me that she was dead but they told me she is very sick and when i came home i noticed everyone was sad and crying and that's the moment i realized she died and i was stuck in 1 place shocked and i felt so desperated that i couldn't reach home in time to see her for the last moment.

I will never forget that feeling in my entire life because right in that moment every good thing that happened to me felt like it got dumped in some kind of emptiness space or some kind of void part inside me. But then as i got closer to her i went and hugged my grandmother and noticed she was so cold, i realized she was dead for quite some time and i got so mad that i could not hold myself.

With all that desperate frustration i started yelling to my parents and everyone who came in front of me and asking them why they did not tell me.

Then i heard some steps behind me coming on my direction and i felt a hand on my shoulder.
I turned my head back and saw my father behind me and he started talking with a calm voice. He said:

My son , i was the one responsible and the one who made the call to stop everyone from telling you and the reason is because you were in work and if we would have told you that she was dead , you would have been driving in panic and try to reach home as fast as you can and i know the traffic is really busy nowadays, so to avoid any accident i couldn't let anyone tell you the truth immediately and i truly know how much you loved your grandmother but i didn't want something to happen to you too since this death has done a lot damage to me and i hope you forgive me for that.
I just wanted you safe that's all.

I was filled with rage and started yelling at my father with lots of words but he didn't get mad at me.
He hugged me instead and asked me to calm down.

Later we buried her and said our farewell and i can say i missed her so much that you guys cannot even imagine.
I have spend so much time with her and every morning when i woke up i went to see her if she has her pillow on and if she's fine because she was feeling bad lately.
I truly loved her with all my heart and i never ever thought that the pain of losing someone you love that much would be this big.

One last thing for all steemians around the world:

Please take care of those who you love and give love back because you never know what happens tomorrow and after you lose someone you will know how much you loved her / him.
Stay close to the ones you love and treat them with kindness and be respectful because doing those things makes your life valuable and rich.
Stay positive and do not try to do shitty stuff to make them worry about you because you should worry about your elders instead.

May god bless her and all of you steemians around the world.
Thanks for taking a minute of your time to read my sad story. I really do appreciate it.

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@helamia, those of us who have lost a beloved grandmother know the heart ache. Be strong and courageous in mourning for your grandmother.

Thank you @mariusclaassen .
Ye indeed that pain is unexplainable and i couldn't agree more.
I tryed and i did my best but to be honnest i couldn't hold myself because it was like fooling myself in a way, from the actual reality but after a while i got some good advices and felt relaxed even though i still miss her.
Everywhere i go, i think of her and the moments that we spended together came clearly to me like memories.
I was amazed and really felt a strange feeling because everytime i think of her i remember something new.
It's like searching inside my brain for deepest memories stuck in there for a long time and i still remember things even when i was a child...i do not know how to explain this thing.
Still an enigma to me

@helamia, you are still in a process of mourning. Because it feels like a part of oneself that is gone. It takes time to deal with such a loss. For some people the period of mourning is short, but for others it takes longer.

We will never know when will be our time so live life to the fullest and live it without regrets. Hope your grandma will guide you from up there.

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