Comparing yourself to others.
In adopting a personal approach, you need to ensure that you are adopting one that inspires honesty and integrity, through your actions, that others may also find joy and purpose in living their lives according to their own preferences. Each of us have our strengths and our weaknesses, and have certain eccentricities, traits, qualities, etc., that are favorable, or objectionable. Almost no one has the ability to objectively view himself as others do.
We all have flaws, and must learn to acknowledge them, adjust, and move past them. People are not perfect and can change, as the media often suggests. In fact, when people know this, they act with greater grace, selflessness, and transparency. So, when you see or hear of some publicity/action (from a former/current person) that presents an unhealthy response, or two, don't fear it.
"the truth lies not in what we are told or believed by others, but in what we have to live by ourselves".
Finding the gifts of darkness, with a healthy inner fire, you can do great things. Often, even the things you have looked upon as being your greatest evils have led to more great good. Your greatest confidence can be the most enormous swindle and illusion, as long as your mind goes ahead alone, ignoring that which proves you wrong.
Sometimes it may appear to be obvious that someone's qualities or deficiencies are simply not serving them. We can and do recommend new interpretations of behavior, new methods of handling problems, or new intentions. We never suggest that the relationship will soon be improved, because we understand that the feelings of the couple remain. But we can help the couple to develop an awareness of how their needs (or desires) are contradictory or incompatible.
Need for adjustment can also come from other aspects of life, from other people. Simply speaking, we may lack the ability to be at ease with others without an understanding of ourselves. Generally, people who are uncomfortable around others can't relate well to others in some capacity. This can be fixed by learning how to relate to others from a place of self-disclosure and self-understanding.
Most of our difficulties stem from the confused idea of what constitutes success or failure and from our illogical understanding of the importance of a goal, what this means to others, what each person has to offer and what they're willing to give, how to respond to someone else's expectations, and the motivation that underlies a common goal. As few of us have studied and applied rational behavioral psychology, we fall prey to the belief that the only way to prevent failure.
Unfortunately, no one can compare himself with others in this regard. A fair comparison has to be made as to the full range of life experience of those who carry the equivalent of the broader planet's DNs. And what we find again and again, is that certain qualities like laziness, apathy, and lack of understanding of the nature of reality are very common on the astral plane, while others like creativity, kindness, and hardwork.