Dealing With Those Who Yell At Us
One of my favorite sayings is "Foul! Out! Foul!" It's not an exact quote, but it describes what I think most Americans do when they are annoyed or upset with someone, something, or something else. Those who yell at us are attacking our self-esteem.
I say this because I have been attacked by some very obnoxious people in my life. Some have actually ruined my mood for the entire day. Some have cursed me, spat on me, and called me a name that makes me want to crawl into a hole. There are good things too, such as when someone genuinely cares about you. I've had some truly nice people in my life that have given me the gift of joy.
But the bottom line is, there are times when someone yelling "Foul!" is not only unkind, but also an act of violence. In other words, it makes you feel as if your well-being has just been threatened. It may make you want to run in a different direction or get out of your way. After all, no one deserves to be treated like that.
It happens to me all the time. Someone comes up and starts "insulting" me, pointing out something I've done or something I've said. Then I become quiet and I ignore them. The person keeps pushing and later asks me something like, "What do you think you're doing?" I just smile and nod, thinking to myself that it is probably an optical illusion. In fact, this person's behavior is so ridiculous, I can't help but laugh at them.
I'm sure many of us have experienced this scenario at some point. Some of us get defensive. We tell them we aren't going to take it anymore, and we turn away. Others give them a funny look and say something like, "You're crazy."
How often have you heard someone describe someone they know as being a crazy lunatic? How often have you seen someone get so angry they start yelling and screaming? And then what do you think they do? They just keep yelling and screaming and feeling mad.
The truth is, those who yell at us are usually those who are feeling frustrated or upset. They don't even know why they're angry. They might even be angry at someone else or feel like their lives are being ruined by someone else. It's all about getting attention!
Let's go back to focusing on the other person. If we continue to respond to them by hitting them, they will only get angrier and more frustrated with us. Instead of responding to them by hitting them, let them give us something thoughtful to respond to instead. If we respond with an attention-grabbing question, idea, or activity, then that makes everyone involved more focused and the discussion or argument will be much better.
Those who yell at us also don't want to hear anything we have to say. So when someone comes up to us and starts talking, let them talk! If we are interrupting someone else while they are talking, it only makes them want to shut down the conversation. When we stop talking and they continue to talk, then they'll likely shut down as well.
Those who yell at us can be categorized as either passive aggressive or forceful. If we respond to those who yell at us in a mean manner, they just might follow us around and try to pick on us. If we don't return the hostility in kind, then they will be less inclined to pick on us. We all know what that feels like.
Those who yell at us need to realize that we have a right to respond in a reasonable and helpful way. If we don't, they may feel that we are giving them a "free ride" by tolerating their behavior. When we become unprofessional in any way, our reputation will suffer. We might even get names and places thrown in our faces. This is not necessary, however, if we deal with those who yell at us in a constructive way. They usually respond better to constructive criticism than if we simply tolerate their behavior.
We don't have to put up with anyone's behavior. We can take action in order to make sure that those who yell at us will no longer be allowed to do so. Those who don't respect other people and engage in behavior that is unpleasant to others should not be left in the public eye. If they've crossed the line, then they should find other ways to behave.