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in #life4 years ago (edited)

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My grandparents' house was filled with old paintings of long-departed family members, powdery white walls, and the smell of Maggy noodles. Glass doorknobs, antique books, and wood furniture that made cracking noises in the dark.

If I close my eyes, firmly shut, and then open them again, I am able to grasp fugitive moments of past memories that are burned into my mind, knotted around my ribs. Figments of a disjointed mind, sweeping through a mist of ghosts I’ve voluntarily awoken.

You were both in the kitchen for a very brief moment, in a vast universe where there is no pain nor sadness. Cigarette smoke fills up the room, clinging to my skin, just like old times. Habits you never broke.You still wear your beautiful blonde hair in a silky bun and he still wears with pride his veteran pins. Two old souls still smiling at me.

Since you've been gone, I've put on my big girl pants and I let life take me away to who knows where. I get stuck in my head for much too long trying to convince myself I am a whole lot tougher than I really am. I grind and clench my teeth far too often for I have once read we are architects of our own destruction. In all honesty, I admit there are times when I would like to slide beneath the cracks of our worlds and stay with both of you there for a one still moment, protected by your love, like I did, many moons ago.

That's home to me.

I am an adult now and I can still hear you say:

"Don't let the bastards get you down."

I won't :)

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Beautiful, impressed by your writing as usual, hug

Glad to see you are still around @bubke! Many hugs from me to you & your son :)

Do you think attachment, a cultivated habit in itself, is positive overall?
When its loss leads to pain?

Ironically, I don't think attachment is positive at all.

As years went by, I noticed I changed my behavior meaning that I try to form bonds but still maintain some sort of detachment. This way there is no risk of getting hurt, yet I still maintain good relationships with no superficiality involved, just less emotionally dependent?!

For some reason, it's different with my family. I seem to be very attached and with that comes great loss and pain.

E

Alas nor do I, if one wishes to 'be' positive in outlook, albeit it is going to happen when there are values involved.

Perhaps you could infer how one can be detached, when it seems an attachment to detachment-or at least the thought of it, occurs? Are these relationships void in any way subsequently?

Attachment with family is usually different according to potential social bonds formed in early childhood.
Pain appears a composite of necessary duality, for survival (that I do not experience in opposite).

No and no.

I don't seek detachment, rather less pain & hassle, and there is no reason for me to build void relationships.

She’s back, szuri’s back! I love the way you write. Have you written stories, or anything long form. I’m always so impressed with the way you construct a sentence like a beautiful piece of architecture.

So glad to see you [email protected]! ❤❤❤

I never tried it, but there is still time for me to do it :)

Much love ❤

You captured the beauty and spirit of that short period of life that many of us go through wonderfully here! I won't either! 👍 😎

lovely Szuri... i wish you would write more often.. i know life gets busy.. but still i miss reading your posts...

My dear @meno, thank you for sticking with me during my absence. :)

Nice post! I upvoted and followed you. Can you check my last blog post about crypto: ?
https://steemit.com/cryptocurrency/@fatos/co-investment-strategy-for-2018

Hey :)

Please don't leave copy/paste comments because you will eventually get flagged :) Instead, try to leave constructive comments or no comments at all :)

E

Hi friend I like your post.

Hello there @avinashsingh :) Thank you for stopping by.