There is this story that we carry 2 bags, one in front of us with the mistakes of others and one in the back with our own mistakes. So in a way it is kind of natural and easy to blame the parents. Me, i love the easy way :-)

Such a good story....Going to keep it in my mind. ❤

My Dear Szuri, i think our life is not that different you know... i was too unplanned, and I too kind of "ruined" the plans, but I don't believe things happen for no reason, and to be honest with you, I did have that convo with mom once... it was liberating...

much love

Hopefully one day I will have that conversation as well and maybe find some sort of balance in this imbalance...a leap of faith. Much love!

I’ve got some years on you and I’m still deconstructing the parents. It’s like an onion; layer after layer. Writing about it helps peel them away so I applaud your courage. Here’s a link to a piece I wrote some months back about my mother. Perhaps it may strike a chord. Or even a potato 😉

Superbly written! ❤

I will no longer look at a field of poppies with the same eyes.

I’m following you, btw. This journey is always better with kindred spirits.

Forgiving them is a huge step.

I was a mistake too and both my parents treated me terrible and I have a hard time forgiving them.

What the unconscious hides & cajoles, particularly its rigidness to be altered, I find to be a major problem; à la when one has tried exhaustively.
That there are some issues deliberately persevering that cannot be solved, & perhaps futile.

Id est quid est.

What you have described alludes to the conundrum of Epoché and its consequence (more free from distress=equanimity; yet discomfort if rejecting worldview/ideology/loss of self?) vs

Persistence in anschauung (faith to self=not feeling like one has rejected their spirit; yet distress and worry evident, never content)

Yet isn't the former indifference? Reminds me of 'what is hardened will never win' (Tarkovsky).

Which of these should you, I or anyone choose? (If what I'm saying is understood)

"But that's the thing with hindsight, it's always twenty-twenty..."

Not always. I think mine's only about thirteen eleven :-)

It's still better than no hindsight at all :)

Thank you for reading.

Ah 30 and so wise. So I am going to tell you what I know about you. I could be wrong but I am pretty good at this kinds stuff.
You are or was some kind of perfectionist. You have suffered some kind of heartbreak or abuse and you are in the process of healing. You are an empath and can feel others pain and if you could you would help everyone. You like to fix people because deep down inside you think that you are broken, but you know this isnt true and want to find out why you think things that arent true..

ok ok. Truth here. Thats really more about who I am which is why I think I see it in you. Thanks for stopping by my post.Btw We are not Broken, We do not need to be fixed, We are here for a purpose and if we continue to practice awarness, forgiveness,gratiude, empathy and compassion we will live a life congruent with our purpose. You are a shining beacon especially when you are leading by example

I am pretty glad we are on the same page :)

So now we can comment on each other's posts and we can also speak in a thousand silent ways.

Took me years to forgive my parents for the mistakes they made that scarred my sister and i. They were 18 when they had my sis and five years later had two kids. They did the best they could possibly do and kime most people, seriously fucked up.

As long as we don't make the same mistakes, or at least try not to make them, I think we're good to go. Although, I do know we are going to fuck up as well.