How can we become who we want to be?
The simple wish of "just wanting to be simple and just being yourself" is so hard to achieve.
How can we be better at being ourselves?
We sometimes envy others and sometimes wonder how good it would be if we could be such a person.
A person who looks bright on the outside, a person who is as understanding as an angel, who does everything he/she can do.
When we see them, we think, "How good would it be if I could be like that?"
So switch to the real-life, have you ever thought about what kind of self you want to shape?
What kind of person am I, what kind of job do I do, what kind of house do I have, what kind of partner do I have, what kind of things do I have?
Don’t have a figurative ideal, feel like you can do anything, this casual perfunctory attitude is certainly difficult to achieve. And not able to find the idea that really wants to be who you are.
"I don't really have any ideas and I don't expect anything about it."
This attitude is, in fact, ignoring their own needs, slowly follow the flow, left only compromise and give up the life.
If you have the idea of changing yourself, you need to start asking yourself, what exactly do you want?
What's the difference between you and your goal? How do you achieve your goals?
Is your current behavior ignoring your own ideas and pandering to other people's lives?
Because of your parents and your friends’ thoughts are for your own good. You just do what they say. This will only bring yourself more and more pressure and burden, living your own world for others.
So you will also not think too much about what you want to be, after all, it is not possible to achieve things. You are too lazy to think about it.
This is the flattering personality, they have been meeting the needs and requirements of others.
Eventually brainwashed into their expectations by the needs of others.
You need to ask yourself deep down in your heart, what you want and what you don't want.
Only when people do what they want to like, will get happiness from it, will not do other useless things, will try to work hard in their own direction.
It is very difficult not to respond to other people's requests.
The more close you are, the more they will ask you, and the more you will naturally respond.
When we respond, the rewards gained from that person will turn into a driving force to move forward.
But when the other person is asking for as much as we do, we will slowly ignore our inner desires and ideas.
Don't need to respond to each other, just take into account what you want.
Praise is not from others, but learn to praise yourself. You just have to feel like you're the best.
That way, you won't need to be recognized. Simply giving to respond to other people's needs will only destroy your own life.
Listen to your inner voice, I want this, I want that. Do it if you want to, and don't ignore your inner thoughts. Don't ignore your desires, don't do it if you don't want to.
"There is no other way, I have to do it."
If you always have this idea, even if you don't want to do something, you force yourself to do it.
Although you will not become a very bad person, but the more you suffer, you will not be happy.
Don't expect from others
The most important thing is not to expect from others. "Because your life belongs to you, others' lives belong to them."
If you can't understand this, you'll expect too much from others.
You will ask for care in others, and you will hope that others will follow your ideas and make your thoughts.
We must understand each other and respect, if the other side can not agree to your request, we have to make a judgment according to the actual situation.
If the other side ignores your needs too much, be brave enough to present your ideas to them.
So understand that you have your life, they also have their own life.
Both sides do not interfere too much in each other's lives, do what they want to do on their own.
Your own wishes can only be fulfilled by yourself.
If you have a dream to pursue, the dreamer must be you.
Don't force these things on the other person, when the other person can not respond, you will feel bad, the other side will also feel bad.
At the same time, do not care too much about each other.
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