YOUR PAIN IS VALID

in #minnowuprising3 years ago (edited)

worried-girl-413690_1920.jpgsource

I was chatting with a friend today and we were discussing about my problems, well, she said I should not call them mine. That led into another conversation. In the process of that conversation she said something that triggered me a little. I have heard many people use that line as a means of making other people feel better about their situation, but I find it offensive in a way because it neglects the person's emotions and feelings. You might have used this sentence as well to console a loved one but I assure you that you were doing the very opposite of that. What am I talking about? Well its the other people are going through worse things statement.

I wonder the true intention of that statement. Does other people's suffering invalidate mine? If anything this statement will only lead one deeper into depression. This is because it makes one feel small and insignificant. Imagine being told your problems aren't worth considering because others are going through worse things as a means of cheering you up.

So many people are ashamed of their problems that they decide to die in silence. I remember trying to pray a couple of times about certain things bothering me, but on those few occasions I find myself asking: why bother? It's not like you're the only one going through stuff. Even, there are people with more pressing issues who need their prayers answered. And you know what? I agree with this thought and keep mute. I conclude that if God wants to bless or help me he would. This, I have realised, will only rob one of many blessing.

No one will help you if you don't ask. Dying in silence is not an option because silent people are not heard. And one should not cover their pain with faux optimism. There is a clear line between expressing your hurt and whining. Talking about the things that hurt you can be helpful. Like they say: a problem shared is a problem half solved. Sometime the only way we can let go is by speaking about the things that hold us down.

Your pain is valid. Speak your truth and do not be bothered about how it makes you look. No one has it easy and if sharing the things that trouble you makes anyone uncomfortable then that's really their business and not yours. Say what you have to say and move on. The important thing is that you're not dwelling on that issue for too long. If talking helps makes you feel better then by all means feel free to say whatever it is that bothers you.

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Hmm. That some people have it worse is hardly a comfort. It's certainly not something I'd use to console someone. It's something I try to remember when I'm struggling a bit myself, more to remind myself that things could be worse and I've got to keep going.

Talking is always good, it can help to try and articulate what you are struggling with the most. I can only imagine what you must be going through. Have you had any more news on your father? Is he still on track with his recovery?

Well only I know for now is that my father is out of the danger room and is recovering gradually. According to the person taking care of him he isn't yet in a good condition to sign what ever that needed to be signed in other to commence the sale of his apartment which is our only real shot at raising money for him. The man said he is doing his best to take care of my Father, I just hope so

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Thank you very much for the support and I will also continue to support the initiative in my own little way.

I absolutely resonate with this. I have been going through some things lately and it is a real struggle to feel as though it is valid when I know many people are struggling too. I also really dislike the sentiment "cheer up", "calm down", or "don't worry". If you could, you would, and there would be no problem.
I really appreciate this post. Thank you for sharing!

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One of the most important things to me is that people are able to relate with the things I write. I am glad this resonates with you. It may not solve your problem but it is nice to know you're not the only one who feels a particular way about something

It is nice to know that I'm not alone. You are not alone either. I wish you the best in your struggles and hope you find peace no matter the outcome. Keep sharing with us, you are a great writer.

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Thanks for the compliment, i appreciate.

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