Please neuralize me!! (Movie Review)

in #moviereviewlast year (edited)

How is the list of the movie that disappoints me keeps on growing? I mean I am yet to become a grumpy old guy but still..

Hello Everyone,
I hope you all are doing good. And I am really confused on how the movies are getting shittier and still makes more money with each new instalments. And no I am not taking about the any one or two franchise there is a whole bunch or it. I am leaving out transformer because that franchise did get rebooted. And even when the story was riddled with plotholes and questions, I think with fewer explosion on screen it did set a story to continue. As for the MIB is don’t know where to start. MIB is not the only one in this list, There is that awful Ocean’s Eight movie and don’t even get me started on the Fast and Furious series. These are not just bad movies without any storylines. They are just a mashup of scenes which makes no sense, so that in the end the mastermind and put all the pieces of the puzzle... and voila BULLSHIT. Oh!! I forgot I wasted money on the Dark Phoenix too.

(inuke opens the window and shouts at random person)

Let’s not get carried away. And keep the focus on the latest %#%&^$ I have seen. Its MIB-International.

SPOILERS – IF YOU LOVE THE MIB-1, HATE MIB-2 AND WILLING TO GIVE A PASS TO MIB-BACK IN TIME. THEN TRUST ME THIS MOVIE IS GOING TO TEST YOUR PATIENCE.

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Image source

Before I proceed further, I understand the there is a genuine pressure on the movie to perform better than its predecessors (That may not be the case, But I like to think so). And I often hear the argument that this movie is trying to be different than its predecessors and there is nothing that can be done with the original story. (Hmm, point taken) But that’s no excuse for such a lazy movie.

(Inuke facepalms and utters “remember this is just a writing exercises, breath in and breath out...GET IT OVER WITH”)

I am actually in favour of people trying stories that are little branching out from the original. That’s what MIB-3 did. They tweaked the timeline but the baseline remained the same MIB hunting aliens. And I totally understand not everyone can pull off the Bourne Series thing, Old wine in new operations.

This movie even with the bigger budget fall short of its previous one. I still don’t understand why they picked up this particular story line, Did they ran out of cool aliens or They already measured up the universe? They ditched everything that made the previous movies cool. They ditched the characters the Agents from the previous movies were powerhouses and were serious characters they never broke the character but here we got “if Thor was the most boring agent” and miss “I am super smart” rookie agent. And thats another low point in this movie we are served with the same a Rookie on an important mission crap which goes sideways and the rookie and the Thor steps on it to find the root cause.

I mean... (inuke... sighs “Its exhausting”)

I am not going to talk about to characters anymore. Because they got Liam Neeson on the desk without giving him any Badass lines or anything of that sort. Its like letting Morgan Freeman play mute.

And they picked up the worst thing possible from the previous movies. Yes!! I am talking about the Power source from the first movie, The Light of Zarth from the second and Something that protects from something in the third movie. I mean WHY???!!!! Why does it always has to be something which is there to make the plot moves. Here is it something blue from a pawn shop.

(inukes looks at the sky and wonder if there is any aliens)

Its frustrating watching this movie and checking the timebar and hoping something interesting happens.

The movie wasted a better story which is already a part of its $%^&# name. INTERNATIONAL!!! How MIB went international would have been a far better story than there is a mole in the movie. Just imagine they could have shown the MIB struggling with something that’s global. Yes!! for once the alien actually landed in the remote island of Andaman and Nicobar. And nobody was able to track the alien. The alien then and then the alien multiplied and started taking over the world. The alien is superintellegent and whenever it takes over a host it changes and mutates. @inuke becomes the ground zero. @macchiata is one of its victim from Indonesian and @ryvihnn from Australia is taken over by the alien too. Soon the alien hits Japan @whatiamdoing san gone. @vincentnijman from portugal gone. Now all the different aliens form and alliance and attacks the MIB. And the MIB is forced to come out of shadows and has to INTERNATIONAL.

Now that.....

would probably suck, but it is still something new.

The point is it is Ok to try something new. But Please make that New actually “NEW”.

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I am inuke. Please that this post lightly It’s just my personal opinion of this movie. I hate it. And none of the comment were at the actors but on the performances. Plus I am no expert I am just a guy with internet access, who love movies.

PS : All my indiaunited friends will also get cool alien mutations. Sorry you are too many to list.

(OH GOD!!! THEY ARE GOING AFTER THE BAD BOYS)

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🤣 that alien would probably take one look at me and go nope too hard and go next door and then I’d feel obliged to try and help and understand what it’s doing and figure out who I’m supposed to be helping and end up being that well meaning annoying character that keeps stuffing up the protagonists while they’re trying to save the day 🤣

I think movies like MiB and Independence Day were just cool scenes and explosions strung together with something kind of vaguely resembling a plot and then other things like the ones you mentioned just kind it followed along because it worked the first time.

I also think a lot of movies are kind of “bad” because there’s a lot of rehashing and sticking to formulas that have worked before.

Maybe you should get into film making and make something good 😜

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Great post big brother @inuke my favourite part was the first part indeed. The last one I havent seen yet and dont even any interest to watch it.