The Narcissist: A New Age Vampire
People in the midst of Narcissistic abuse are more common than you might think. Especially in the workplace, the narcissistic traits are well suited to climb the corporate ladder and thus you will often find them in high ranking positions, much to the detriment of the employees under them.
Photo by TETrebbien on Unsplash
So what is a narcissist? In my opinion, it stems from an early childhood where the individual went through a highly significant traumatic phase. The young Soul, whimpering in the corner, said: "I am unable to handle this any more" and the Ego sees this as its golden chance to reign supreme and replied to the Soul: "Oh so you can't handle it, then you just keep to your corner". Ego locks the door to the Soul and from then on have absolute complete reign. And with that, another narcissist is born. Unable to do any self-reflection. Unable to see any flaws in themselves. Unable to feel empathy with the person it is trying to control.
Photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash
Like a Vampire, it needs the life-force (blood) of the people around them to survive because deep down the Ego is cowardly fearful.
The narcissist is a master strategist. When they first meet you, they will be nice, pleasant and friendly. During this phase, they will lore you in, gain your trust, so that they can find your weaknesses, your wounds, your triggers or your soft spots. Then slowly they will start to try to control you with outbursts of anger where they target your insecurities. As you fall in fear, they feed from your loss of power.
Photo by Louis Hansel on Unsplash
Many narcissists are also shockingly good empaths. Able to read the small energetic changes in your energy field, they can detect when they are moving closer to one of your wounds. Without you knowing exactly what happened, you might find yourself utterly deflated after an encounter with a narcissist.
Narcissists are synonymous with gaslighting, a form of manipulation where the victim questions their own sanity.
Narcissists also gather minions around them, the minions gather information on other victims and deliver daily gossip from ground level so that the narcissist can strategise the next move.
Narcissists are black holes of darkness, sucking everyone around them into a whirlpool of emotional destruction. Even just being close to someone who is abused, you can be at risk to be sucked in with your emotional involvement. Often unresolved resentment, anger and fear might surface and leave you weak, angry, vengeful and desperate.
Photo by Dmitry Ratushny on Unsplash
So far the world of mental health has been totally at lost in how to recover the narcissist. There seems to be 'no cure' for someone with narcissistic traits. Do not imagine that the narcissist in your world will be capable of real and lasting change, not only because it doesn't happen (according to my extensive research) but also, by hoping for the narcissist to change, you miss the greatest opportunity for self-growth.
To reflect back, remember the narcissist exposes your wounds. The best way to deal with a narcissist is to become aware of the wounds that the narcissist is targeting in you. One specialist from Australia that coach clients in narcissistic abusive relationships, even call the narcissist an AID - Angels in Disguise. Some of our core wounds are so close to home, they are often invisible to our own self-reflective gaze. It is then that the narcissist might step into your journey of self-healing and expose these wounds so that you can transcend them and be free from outdated insecurities and fear.
Photo by James Pond on Unsplash
By viewing the situation from this perspective, you claim back your power, overcome your inner 'demons' and are able to stand your ground against the narcissistic vampire. Often this kind of 'warrior of light' will take up the battle against the narcissist and again prove that truth and light are the superior force on earth. Darkness is not sustainable, it consumes itself. Light sustains, evolves and expands.
Feel free to leave a comment on your experiences with narcissists or if you need any advice. I am always happy to help if I can.