in #nigeria4 years ago (edited)

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Why is this common with women? Is it that we carry the world on our shoulders? Cant we just have a peaceful normal life???
Sometimes I just wish to end it all and be in peace...but on a second thought, is ending it the solution? Will ending it show my strength as a woman. The answer is no.
It's been happening over and over again in my life the past years.
Life was much more easier when I was a single lady without no marital responsibility. It was fun, it was freedom, doing what you want do at when you you want to do it.
Please do not get me wrong, it was a choice of mine to be married and have kids. I enjoyed the freedom of a single lady, but i have move past that as a choice . I love my family, cute awesome six boys I have (the reason why ending it is never an option). Life as a married woman and a mum can be difficult and depressing especially when you do not have all the support you need.
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Marriage is meant to be filled with love, happiness, joy. But in situations when been a married woman automatically turns you to a slave( especially in this part of the world, where I came from). Our men are not so friendly. There are few good once who understands and know the pain of being a wife and a mum. We deserve to be happy, we deserve to have our lives, we deserve to be encouraged.
Many times, I wish I could walk away and be that single girl again, I wish I could decide I don't wanna cook, watch, clean for anyone. Yes I miss that. And am not here to say I hate it all, I am pouring out my heart cause I feel choked. I get depressed from time to time and I know many married women do. Incase you do not know these, know these now, we need your support, we need your help, we do not need your judgement. We need you to understand why we make mistakes, we need you to love us even in our mistakes.
To that single lady out there who is depressed cause she has no man, my dear please do not be. Enjoy the fullness of your freedom, because when you give it up by choice, you ain't going to have it back.

Just a world to the society out there, please stop pressuring women to be married, stop judging the single lady who is not married, learn to accept the choices of those ladies who choose not to give up there freedom. Let's respect peoples decision and accept people for who they are.

I know these mighty put some questions in the minds of many,especially those who know me personally. Yes you have a right to think whatever comes to your mind. But this is me, this is how I feel right now, this is what I have been struggling with. If you say I need help, yes I agree with you. I know I am not alone, there is someone out there who feels what I feel or something close to how I feel.
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Woke up this morning and I said to myself, what is that thing that makes me feel like I have my life, I can express myself. And here I am on steemit, feels like freedom to be here.
Thank you steemit friends for encouraging me. I really need to feel encourage and feel lighted up.
Be kind to read and leave your comments. Will appreciate an upvote

Thank you.


I don't even know what to say or where to start from.....and that's quite strange, even for me, because I usually have something to say.
I'm not a woman, so I can't say I know how you feel, right now.
I can only wish you the strength and grace to overcome whatever it is that's causing you to feel this way. Wouldn't want even my own blood to go through any form of depression. It's definitely not a nice feeling.
But one key step to overcoming it, is by being around loved ones. You can't be depressed when you are around your loved ones. So, at the point in time, try not to push them away. Their presence with you would be a quick way to get out of your present state.
And most importantly find your way back to steemitdotcom. We've got skilled people there that can help.

Women are weak vessel and with a soft heart as well, sometimes at any slight issues it always cause depression for them.
Pls i advice u men is not everything u wil tell ur wife especially if u know her heart cannot accomodate it.
Women need ultimate cares and respect at all cost.

weak vessel?...if a man is the one in this shoe u will pull the trigger....even a child born u cant carry for 2 min u will always giv bak to d mother while u sleeps n snor..

am honoured!.tnk u

ricky my gonna back soo yea...just needed som stuff to b cool

I wonder how she got into this with all my gifs... @heartbitcoin, you better do fast and join us back there.

send me more on my page..the gif really do makes me blush alot..miss u guys am gonna stumble on ya ll real soon in some hours i should be home...that steemitdotcom inner room is really a good place to be

I feel everything feel as I read this. I am a man, but I know how to put myself in other people's shoes. I am too calculative and observant, reason I understand what my wife went through. I felt every pain she felt. We carried that pregnancy together. She doesn't complain about house chores, but I complain. Sometimes I ask her, if don't sweep house today, what will happen? Lol. I used to do those things before I married. So I know how tedious they are. And I will not complain if she fails to do any. Women have every reason to be depressed in our African culture, not Western world because they easily call it a quit. Here may be more depressed in life if your marriage a quit.

tnkGod u know....we need to sort this out one way or the other...fin group trying but not enough

I am so happy that you have let out your burden, @heartbitcoin. It's so important and I encourage more women to do so. @ceepee just told me about you and immediately I saw two words,''women and depression, I stopped what I was doing just to drop a few lines to encourage you. Like you stated FIN group is really trying. I am a member, although since I joined steemit 5 months ago, my activities on facebook have reduced drastically. I like it that way, though. I am a Nigerian woman, who is married, so I can empathize with you.

Ooh sis,thank u for stoping by am feeling real loved this moment and am goin to do all i can to be out of this. i wish more women can express this so dey can feel real loved again @ceepee oh mai God u are my steemitangel tnks girl .

You are welcome, dear sister.So happy that you feel loved now. Honestly, @ceepee is your steemit angel. Thanks to her for being there. I have my down times too, so I understand. All you just need when you feel depressed is to talk to a trusted loved one. I'm not a physician, neither am I a psychologist, but as a public health professional I believe that I can be of some help. At least you can talk to me (voice chat, not text chat). Please, feel free to text chat me first on , after which you can leave your mobile number and I'll call you. My regards to your 6 soldiers. Lol! Have a fun-filled day, dear!

Her soldiers are 7 although i am still not believing she has 7 soldiers.My mum has 3 and i can say we were "easy" for her, talkless of seven. Oh ! Just saw she said they were 6, she used to tell us 7.

I have a niece ...that i love as much am my kids .i may not be her real mother..but she got all the love she needs . shes part of the family and shes part of the 7 soldiers

Thank you @ maryfavour, my dear sister. Thank you so much for supporting her. Am glad she feels better. Ladies always having each others back.

Hi ma'am ., depression is common with women than men, you just have to snap out of it, just be positive, you can be happier if you just try harder. Depression is not a sign of a person’s weakness or a character flaw. I also feel you need treatment to get better, you might want to talk to a doc with time and treatment, you will be better. Meanwhile get on a better sleep schedule learn healthy sleep habits also practice relaxation techniques. daily relaxation practice, taking some time out of work and house chores could help relieve symptoms of depression, reduce stress, and boost feelings of joy and well-being. Try yoga too lol, or meditation, spend time with people . It's not easy but don't get bogged down in stigma or angry feelings.

am gonna try so hard.tnks Bdc one love

You've said it well boss. It takes concious effort to get out of this. Check out this post of mine.

Stop promoting behaviors that lead to depression?

I developed a massive anxiety disorder caused by unrelenting tinnitus. It lasted 3.5 years and during that time I knew no joy and could not understand how others could live. Life was pure hell like nothing I could ever describe. There was no 'snapping out' or 'just being tougher' etc though. Not at all. I couldn't battle my mind - I still can't - and believe me, I tried and tried and tried and spent thousands of pounds. Serious depression is as physical in that sense as any other serious illness. I was so exhausted. After 3.5 years though, I learnt I could challenge my behaviour. It was the sweetest, most compassionate discovery I ever made and was also the hardest thing I have ever ever done (and I have done many hard things): breaking old habits that kept me trapped in the cycle. I kept at it because there were results - though sometimes they weren't immediate and there were many relapses. ironically, once I 'recovered', life got very hard indeed as the state I had been in for so long proved too much for my body. it has taken every ounce of creativity to keep myself together throughout this, but those exceptionally dark days I believe can exist no more as I now know exactly how they were created. What I'm trying to say is, serious depression is like no hell imaginable and completely misunderstood by those who have never really known the full beast. However, it is 'simply' (not the right word exactly) an altered state - a stress state. It is not real and does not need to be permanent if you know exactly how to tackle it (basically learning how to starve your subconscious of all triggers by learning how to feed your mind through your senses: reawakening your creativity - but constantly, and starving yourself of talking about the depression/ accommodating). I promise you. I did the Charles Linden Method btw and I love that man's soul to the end of this earth and beyond for what he taught me: not just curing the disorder but opening my creativity. Children also grow btw. There will be freedom and steemit is a great place to start. Good luck.

But thank you :) i have some great people giving me hugs xx

If i tell you that it's only women that go through depression, I'll be a bloody liar. Thank God for you who could express how you really feel. People who are introverts are most times suffering but keeping it to themselves so you don't know they had taken it to the brim and they just do the unthinkable. My advice is for you to always have at the back of your mind that "there are a lot to live for than to die for" . Some people are getting depressed for what you are getting depressed not having, another person is getting drepressed for having it and vice versal. An understanding of this world and it's complications is most important for us to be able to live to enjoy it. We need to take consious efforts while living in it. Afterall, the good book says "in this world, you will be troubled but be of good cheer". I just hope I've been able to say what I wish to say.Just enjoy life, beam more on the good mommories you've had and cheer yourself up.

dorth ..depression have stages..this is just one in some women goes through me...having ur life to urself will get u out in no glad i voiced it..feels reel good will tell all stories ..sit bak n read tru life stories am about to unleach

You are definitely not alone. I agree with your statement about accepting people for who they are & It's ok to accept yourself as you are now too, even if it's not who you want to be. The blessing is you can always change! You don't have to fake that everything is ok or pretend, at least not here...I know for ones own survival often that isn't possible in real life, so I'm glad you've got some form of freedom!
I believe depression can help lead us to the person our soul is hungry for us to become.
We can still kill (hopefully with kindness) the parts of our brains that make us want to die while still learning to thrive. Dealing with mental illness is a hard struggle that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I see your pain & am thankful you continue to fight to be here.
I wish you all the best & appreciate you sharing your struggles.

I would suggest to try to be happy with whatever you have. There are so many women/ladies or even men who are living their lives that we can't imagine! Be happy with what you have and take all struggles as an exam that you have to pass in your life. Be happy and enjoy every moment of your life, your depression/stress/anxiety would start decreasing.

A lot of women have unresolved issue s that they carry around and such go be one of the problems that lead to depression, how to resolve issues is to always get it to its logical conclusion, don't suppress matters and learn to love yourself

Selflove hmmn...we got to love somany.but really have got this one life. Will explore it

Thank God for the nigeria tag, This post made me to know, Nigeria at large and the youth are not alone, we encourage each other, help each other and make things work. Depression is common but thankfully we are never alone and more now, we have steemit community.

this post showed me am not alone showed me i am loved by so many ..tnk u guys and to my love ceepee u are owesome

Depression is a cause and effect of over thinking which is a usual function of intellect or mind. Unless we learn the ways to calm our mind or get the mind out of mental diarrhea people are going to suffer it doesn't matter if its a man or women. For these the best thing what we can suggest is to observe your own thoughts and you shall know what to do with the particular thought.
Seat of our experience is within us and if you are feeling depressed it is the information what you have taken in is what is bothering you. Women is blessed with emotional wisdom in so many aspects and she can use that with full potential if she calm her mind.

I believe in the essentials we as humans can declutter our mind from the dirts of emotional crap by channeling our mindset cum vision towards optimistic ideals, if am right

Hi @heartbitcoin, being the eternal optimist, I never understood depression, that is until this illness pushed me into a deep dark pit for a very long time. Many people believe it is just a mood, it is not! They tell you to 'snap out of it', well that is impossible, as if you want to feel depressed! But believe me, there are many men who also suffer from this debilitating illness, they just do not admit it as they see it as a weakness. They are so wrong! When the body is put under stress, some people get ulcers, some are prone to lung diseases, some like yourself (and me) get hit with a chemical imbalance in the brain leading to depression. Women may be more prone to it as our bodies undergo many hormonal changes. You cannot fight this alone; there are many health practitioners who deal with depression, conventional doctors, alternative healers, it is your choice. You will probably need medication, and as my husband who is a type 1 diabetic said at the time, it would be foolish of him to stop using insulin, he would not survive, same with this illness! Take up walking or running, join the gym, do whatever physical activity appeals to you. Learn a meditation technique, up your intake of fresh fruit and vegetables, drink lots of water; all in order to get your body in a fit and healthy state so that you can fight this; and believe me, you will conquer this! You are a strong woman but do not have to fight this alone. Wish you well :)

Have had that alot of time fromtime to time snap out of ' the more i hear it the more it makes me feel bad ' . Thank u soo much for this am gonna take all cause due to over come this am registering with a gym center this weekend and ill be glad to post my outing pictures wit u. Will try all possible best to be free n happy more

That's great @heartbitcoin, and you will feel happy and free again :):)