46th President Of The United States Campaign - “If You Can’t Beat’em, Join’em”

in #outofthinairlast year

I’ll put an end to repeat offenders of rape and child molestation—castration on your first conviction. How’s that for an opening sentence?


Executive order. Written orders or instructions that bypass U.S. Congress and legislative law making process at the sole discretion of the President of the United States—a stranger whom you, people you know and people you don’t know, rush to the Diebold voting ATM for, in the name of democracy, once every four years.

Hi, I’m @dandays, The Luckiest Guy I Know, vote for me in November and the following list of Nine executive orders shall take effect immediately following my inauguration! The difference between me and all of those other candidates you’ve voted for in the past is simple—we actually have a rapport, you and I, and I don’t sleep with the illuminati.

Executive Order No.1:

Refer to the opening sentence.

Executive Order No.2:

Any man, woman, or otherwise, convicted of maliciously accusing someone of rape allegations and found guilty of providing false testimony shall serve a minimum 25 year prison sentence in a maximum security facility without the possibility of parole. Your sentence shall be reduced by one year per each proven sexual assault you personally prevented while detained by the U.S Department of Corrections.

Executive Order No.3:

To further promote the development of blockchain technology and, to encourage mainstream usage of #cryptocurrency, all fiat and Federal Reserve Notes are hereby required to have the following inscription clearly legible on both front and back:

”The Original Terrorism, Money Laundering, Drug Trade, and Human Trafficking Legal Tender.”

Executive Order No.4:

Resurrection of the 2nd amendment—right to bear arms. I’ll make it unlawful to mandate personal firearms remain unloaded while in transport and that all personal facilities such as, but not limited to, the glove-box of your vehicle, under the seat of your vehicle, pants pocket, purse, hip holster, ankle holster, anywhere on your person and anything of the like shall have the same governing laws as every public shooting range in all 50 states.

Personal firearms are, however, to remain non-permissible in any type of education facility, court room preceding, or financial institution—leave it in your car.

Gun control—the wOrd “control” is in the phrase, people! It’s right there, it’s the second wOrd in “gun control.” Like “programming,” it’s the second wOrd in “television programming” and you fail to realize its significance.

Executive Order No.5:

All public fountains, both indoor and outdoor, shall have their contents removed monthly and 100% of the proceeds collected from therein shall be disbursed equally amongst missions, homeless shelters, food banks, and non-profit organizations designed to assist those who are less fortunate from within that fountains city limits.

This order is a social experiment that provides a variety of Human Resources as well as #community awareness. Those in need of deserving items such as, but not limited to, shoes, shelter, food, and medical treatment, will receive these items free of charge. It also employs personnel to operate and manage the collection service, the disbursement agency, medical staff, etc, all while Public Relations and quality of #life climb to a level less atrocious than its current state. And let’s not forget to take into consideration those who will use this opportunity as a tax deduction anomaly and turn this donation service into a spectacle by donating thousands or even tens of thousands of dollars toward a just cause on a monthly basis—“make a wish!”

Executive Order No.6:

An extension to Executive Order No.5—the Tiny House Legislature. 10% of all motor vehicle toll crossings including, but not limited to, bridge fees, toll roads, and commuter passes, shall fund TNL—the Tiny House Legislature. Furthermore, 10% of all parking fees including, but not limited to, parking violations, metered parking, and parking structure entry fees shall fund TNL.

These Tiny Houses are to be habitable dwelling units which will not only provide adequate shelter for those less fortunate but will also create jobs from within the community with everyone from the design and build aspect to the delivery, maintenance, and well being check-ups to those who desperately need it. This initiative will provide a service our country can be proud of while simultaneously catapulting an industry the rest of the world will be unable to ignore and therefor be forced to follow suit shortly thereafter.

Executive Order No.7:

All public walking paths whose sole intents of purposes are designed for foot traffic including, but not limited to, walking paths and sidewalks, shall be clearly divided with a visible, painted line that stretches equally down the center of the path and arrows indicating the proper direction of foot travel.

Executive Order No.8:

Recall the incentive for mass human reproduction—no more tax benefits on April 15th for the reproduction of children from this day forward. Those of you who currently have children are grandfathered in by previous legislation. This will put an end to the highly toxic nature of reproduction in order to receive government assistance as well as detour the theory of ‘everyone else is doing’ it and instead incentivize young people to do things such as, but not limited to, receive education, embrace a career, and prepare themselves for the challenges in life that lie ahead before bringing a life into this world.

I hereby incentivize you to not reproduce. Not forever, just for a pivotal moment in time—the time you’re supposed to spend growing, learning, and becoming accustom to co-existing on a shared planet.

From the proceeds saved on government assistance, subsidized housing, medical attention, and the abundance of costs associated with childbirth young parents are understandably unaware of, everyone, both male and female, who did not reproduce prior to turning 20 will receive a $1,000 Awareness Bonus payable on their 20th birthday. Those who are actively seeking employment, are currently employed or enrolled in school, and managed to do so by age 20 without reproducing shall receive a $500 bonus, paid annually on April 15th and continue until your 25th birthday. Between the ages of 26 and 30, your annual Awareness Bonus shall increase to $750 until the maximum benefit allowance of $1,000 is reached—payable between age 31 and 35. Final payment will be executed on April 15th immediately following your 35th birthday. All Awareness Bonuses shall cease to exist at age 36.

Executive Order No.9:

Nationwide legal use of marijuana in every aspect including, but not limited to, cultivation, transport, inhale, exhale, ingestion of and, furthermore, heightened awareness of the medicinal properties marijuana provides including, but not limited to, tobacco relief, Parkinson’s disease, chronic pain, eating disorders, sleep depravation, nausea, anxiety/depression, and general mental health issues shall be at the forefront of public attention.

Having never attributed to one (1) recorded death in the #history of marijuana and existence of humankind which is more than I can say for the use of illegal narcotics (77 thousand deaths per year), alcoholism (88 thousand deaths per year), pharmaceuticals (106 thousand “reported” deaths per year), and the tobacco industry (EIGHT MILLION deaths per year), the fact that marijuana remains, to this day, illegal in more than 75% of our shared globe is, for lack of a better term, asinine.

In a world where both Pepto-Bismol and Aspirin, each of which are easily accessible on every street corner in America have proven capable of human fatality, we still have lawmakers who refuse to release their strong arm control (there’s that C-word again) over a naturally flowering, just add water and sunlight, plant—that ends now.

I’m D and A—I approve this message!




U got my vote

Thank you, @geneeverett! Good morning from England, thanks for Resteem too, I saw them both, I really appreciate that.

I drew a little bit of negative feedback from this one. “Ah shucks! Guess that means my campaign is authentic and not staged.”

Have a great week dude and thanks again for all of the support you’ve show both Pura and I.

@tipu curate

@bluemoon. Thank you so much! I really appreciate this. Thank you for reading my article. I began taking notes a few weeks ago about the ‘what I’d do’ and decided now was a good time, I’m glad you agree.

With pleasure!

I don’t sleep with the Illuminati, That in itself is a good enough reason to vote for @dandays. Funny stuff my friend. It's always funny when there is some truth to the dialogue.
I do think that executive order # I would not be an appropriate penalty for all who commit such a heinous crime. Castration would be a little difficult to perform on the reproductive organs, let's say for example, of a woman. 😃

The Original Terrorism, Money Laundering, Drug Trade, and Human Trafficking Legal Tender.” I swear I've seen this on some recent $100.00 bills.

I love the changes you would make to the present laws concerning weed. I think it's about time for every American to be able to exhale even if it remains illegal to inhale.

Your sense of humor keeps me laughing.

We hope all is well with you and @puravidaville.
Stay safe my friend, and if you need a running mate just drop me a line.

I bet you didn’t know I was gonna say this—that part about if I need a running mate gave me chills! How’fa king cool is that?! Chills.. via a virtual message?! Oh man, could you imagine if we ran the joint? I know one thing two things we wouldn’t do—tweet our daily lives and remember if we packed the bowl! Ok, I need to break out of comedy character right quick..

Man, I’m guilty of forgetting the part about women are just as capable of being sex offenders, “guilty!” It probably has something to do with my body positioning when I piss, I overlook it isn’t just a sick, twisted, male who’s capable. Good call, sir! I believe given the opportunity to police ourselves, the world would be a better place. Ok, back to the other one of the other me’s..

I’m glad I can keep you entertained, sir. It’s my pleasure. And, for a really old guy in New York who’s satin and baby powder around the edges, you do a fine job at keeping me entertained too! Know that. This platform has been positive for me in several ways, one is the really upstanding, decent couple I met who live on a farm in upstate New York.

Weed—ridiculous, right? OTC medications cause death daily and those are just the “safe ones.” I didn’t get into vehicle incidents, suicide, shark attacks, I mean really?! There’s actual real life issues that these mufuu.... ers brush under the rug daily but “don’t smoke weed!” Is front page news.

About that legal tender. Dude I cringe every time I read about Bitcoin contributing to the existing problem that current fiat has and continues to fund. Speaking of “joke.”

Thank you for always supporting me, @thebigsweed. I’ve never missed one of your resteems, comments, upvotes, and I’ve appreciated all of them the same. PS—congratulations on your @curangel visit, come to think of it, it was you who introduced @tarazkp to me, see what I mean? Your support has been top shelf since day one. I’m glad we met, @thebigsweed.

Now where’s my’fa king syrup!!!

(a few hours remain until we’re checked in at the hospital—I’ll be sure to keep you updated)

I think the White House could use a little change. Two guys who would cross party lines in a minute. I can't remember how many times I've crossed the line at parties. I don't understand why these ahole politicians have such a hard time at that.
That's the problem, weed is illegal and you know they don't break the law.
They should legalize the stuff and then they could all sit around, smoke a fat one, and have some meaningful conversation. By the end of the night they would all be the best of buddies.
I've seen some drunken brawls, but never once have I seen a group of people sitting around getting stoned, get marijuana muscles, I like the ring of that,
Your humor kills me, paragraph #2

I'm also glad we met, but I'm not so sure @farm-mom is, she's getting a little jealous and that ain't like her! 😃

I hope this reply finds you at a good time. Send our luv to Pura, she's one tough gal.

You know you make it difficult to walk away from a conversation, right? That would be my “party,” Sweed! The party, party (P). “What party are you representing, what’s the P stand for?” ’Party!’

..and you know they don’t break the law.

Your humor affects gets me too man! Marijuana Muscles—that’s funny. Again, well of course we’ve never heard of such a thing! The only black out weed ever caused was the one where you were literally sleeping.

After 44 years, she’ll get over it!

Ok, I have another Sweed comment to to check out, see you on the other one.

for @dandays

Thank for keeping up with me, @eii.


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Oh you silly ole click-bating man...I actually thought you were running for office, but you're merely just strolling along the congested sidewalk of life, daydreaming and knocking into texting freaks along the way.

Clickbait? It’s obvious he wasn’t running and was doing something more important and u call it clickbait? Darn ur an angry man,

As seasoned as you are, young man, you actually fell for the click-bait eh? At what point did you realize it was just a Steemit article? It was the part where I said I don’t sleep with the illuminati, wasn’t it? I had a feeling that part would give it away... I was afraid of that.

Sure is nice to have you back, @angryman. Always a pleasure to hear from you sir. Thanks for keeping an eye on me.

Illuminati...?!?!?!?!? No, I don't sleep with the lights on either. We have quite a bit in common so it seems.

Next time I’m in New York, I’ll know which is you—the guy paying attention to the arrows.

“Got a light?”

Yeah...I'll be ducking those arrows with great speed and agility...

Can I be grandfathered (or perhaps (non)grandmothered) in on number 8? I'm only a few years late. 😂 Aunt Plants needs some reimbursement for all those baby showers...

Posted using Partiko Android

Do you get as uncomfortable as I do when you show up to the toddlers birthday party with a bottle of wine for the parents and everyone stares at you like the muddy dog who just ran through the clean house?

🤔 “What?? It’s for the parents, not the baby!” It’s not just me is it? Certainly everyone brings wine in a blingy pink (or) blue bag with balloons to a toddlers birthday party.

I can re-work this for you, @plantstoplanks, and add a reimbursement clause—you deserve to be rewarded for your efforts.

Great to hear from you again Aunt Plants, always a pleasure.

I got used to your lively and colorful writings (and photos). I said what is this :)

I was very surprised when I read the article. There are decisions that are strange / interesting / I do not understand

Ha! That’s funny. Does that mean you wouldn’t vote for me if I was running for President? Danget, I guess not all executive orders are smooth as butter.

Yeah, I try to mix it up, @avare, I’ve released poetry, drawings, food, I try to keep you guys guessing. I appreciate you paying attention to me all the same—it means a lot even when they catch you by surprise.

Here, I just released this one, a support for #steemit article—hope you like it.

Enjoy the rest of your evening, Avare, we’ll chat soon.

ESTM Boosting refund to @dandays!
Due to one of these reasons:
1. Not posted from eSteem apps.
2. Already curated by eSteem team.
3. Need bit more improvement on quality of post.
4. Might be too old post.
5. User already received vote in last couple hours, you can try boosting again afterwhile.
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@esteemapp. I boosted it because you skipped it.
It’s not too old, only a few hours.
It was not curated, that’s why I boosted.
I did post it on the esteem app.
I have not received an upvote in the past few hours.

I certainly hope you’re not suggesting this article is of poor quality.

@esteemapp. I just was on discord with a moderator who suggested a computer error and that should try again. Wish me luck!

Yes, you can of course try to boost same post again. It will be reviewed again... Or you can try new post

Thank you for getting back to me. I boasted again, I’m in this weird virtual limbo space now. 😉

Congratulations @dandays, your post successfully recieved 0.042039 TRDO from below listed TRENDO callers:

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deranged You just received DERANGED @dandays Keep up the great work, view all your tokens at steem-engine.com

coffeea Lucky you @dandays here is your COFFEEA, view all your tokens at steem-engine.com Vote for c0ff33a as Witness