Introspecting and what I discovered about myself
I've always been a fan of reading self-development books and watching videos about it. One of the things I learned is to practice incorporating meditation into my everyday life. They say it can help clear the mind of worries, destress, make better decisions and all those other stuff. At first I was skeptical to its effectiveness, but decided to try it anyway because I figured what's there to lose right?
I've been practicing meditation daily now for the past 2 months or so, and I can say it really helps in decluttering the mind. Also, it gives me awareness to how my mind thinks and speaks to me. After some introspection, I discovered that I have been suffering from low self-esteem all my life without being aware of it. I surmise it probably has something to do during my childhood days. I had a rough time growing up which has greatly affected my confidence and outlook in life.
I also ended a turbulent 3 year relationship with my then girlfriend 11 months ago. Although it was hard to do but I guess it was for the better. It was one of those co-dependent relationship that was getting too toxic and unhealthy. In hindsight, I should have known that it was never meant to last. It took a toll on my self-esteem and my character. Atleast I learned a lesson from that one, that I should love myself first before loving someone else.
What's next for me?
I have made a conscious effort to try new things and get out of my comfort zone in order to improve my self-esteem. One of it was joining the recently concluded Steemfest 4. Not only am I a socially awkward guy when it comes to speaking with strangers but I have never travelled alone. So it was like hitting two birds with one stone for me.
Attending the event has tremendously improved my self-esteem and I know I should strive to continue working on it. As the saying goes: "If you don't use it, you lose it."
Partly the reason why I'll be more actively posting here is so I can improve my writing skills and and also as a way to share and document my progress towards improving myself as a person. I hope you guys embark on this journey with me!
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