"The Impeachment Duel" ... a Cure for Mass Psychosis

in #poetrylast year

With the Coronavirus, plummeting financial markets and STEEM/Steemit's current melodrama, I've become concerned that people have forgotten how to laugh, especially at themselves. Indeed, a scroll through Trending these days can be pretty dark, depressing ... and not infrequently, demented.

That said, blissful bromides and pithy platitudes are rarely what people want, or need, when they're stressed out.

So, I spent a few minutes thinking it through and came up with an idea (which I think is brilliant). You know that old expression, "A change is as good as a rest?" Well, I thought, what if I changed the channel and gave you folks an opportunity to redirect your mass psychosis and dystopian overreactions into something different?

But what?

Nostalgia is a potent psychological phenomenon amongst humans and, when combined with a bit of old fashioned rage, well ... for what more could one ask? A passionate return to something familiar. And so, I invite you to reminisce about something that was causing so many of you, just a short while ago, to lose your minds.

Trump ... and the never-ending Impeachment debacle.


The Impeachment Duel

Impeachment morass, so came it to pass,
From fire, remove it the fuel,
To end it the fight, a Bill would they write,
Legal would make they, a duel.


The White House lawn at the crack of dawn,
... Bring end to a nation’s ordeal,
Like Hamilton-Burr, to Fate we’d defer,
Justice as forged by it steel.

Ever promoter, Doc Holiday quoter,
Trump waived and found it a mike,
Brief commentary, “Your Huckleberry,”
… Then called Pelosi a dyke.

Before it too long, approached it a throng,
In song ‘bout Victim Uplifting,
Trump would he stiff, claimed Ol’ Shifty Schiff,
Shifty while shiftily shifting.

Ten paces they’d take, turn and shots make,
Chief Justice, the paces he’d count,
Repeat aforesaid until one was dead,
And hatred was fixed at its fount.

Upon reaching four, there was an uproar,
Shifty had turned and then fired,
Shot in the back, Trump fell like a sack,
President unfairly retired.

I glanced at his kin, expecting chagrin,
Tears and wails of woe,
But to my surprise, saw mirth in their eyes,
As Shifty nudged Trump with his toe.


Trump rolled to his back then counter-attacked,
Kicked Shifty where balls should have been,
Trump jumped to his feet to pistol deplete,
His face contorted by grin.

“I knew you would cheat, so strapped cookie sheet,
Under my shirt on my back,”

With hand reached around and pulled the sheet down,
And with it gave Shifty a whack.

Trump leveled his gun as Shifty did run,
Running, he screamed to allies,
As Trump he took aim, was changed it the game,
… CNN shone light in his eyes.


The shot it went wide and the press unified,
Pencils rained down in riposte,
Notepads, recorders, unleashed did reporters,
From The Times and Washington Post.

While Trump he was goaded, Shifty reloaded,
Then wailed, “TRUMP ... YOU ARE DEAD,”
Well Trump stood his ground as all gathered round,
As Shifty took aim at his head.

Awaiting death knell, a silence befell,
Honestly, it seemed like the end,
But just at that instant, a whisper not distant,
Would Adam with Eve now contend.


All heads did they turn, all eyes did they yearn,
Ivanka … stood framed by the sky,
With feminine finesse, tweaked vent in her dress,
… Exposing her leg to the thigh.


You could sense the demise in Ol’ Shifty’s eyes,
Bug-eyes, bugged out as if buggered,
Large as two eggs, he gaped at her leg,
Jaw dropped as if he’d been sluggered.

CNN was shortsighted … Ivanka spotlighted,
For goddess ... light becomes lightning,
Womanly wile, she flashed it her smile,
… Bug-eyes began ever-whitening.

Like moth to a flame, besought he became,
Avert, could not he his gaze,
Though eyes did they smolder, would still he behold her,
For beauty did burn like a blaze.


Ol’ Shifty he screamed while Ivanka she beamed,
Beamed on like a billion suns,
As eyes turned to soot, shot himself in the foot,
Sobbing, declared he was done.

The Chief Justice jumped in, declared it a win,
Though Trump, he loathed such finale,
Became more upbeat as started to tweet,
Great tale for next MAGA rally.

Collusion discussion, “Ivanka sounds Russian,”
Still Trump, he got re-elected,
Shifty on Twitter, he said, “I am no quitter,”
New hearings … are thus now expected.


Quill



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@d-pend,

Calling you in for this one. Poetic satire.

Quill