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RE: Psychology Addict # 56 | Reflections on Anger.

in #psychology2 years ago (edited)

Dear Abigail,
What a treasure. What a way to start my day, with such insight and wisdom. Not just yours, but wisdom of so many great thinkers across the ages. The beauty and value of your blogs is that you support your central premise by mining the wisdom of others.

Of course, I'm impressed, but also persuaded. Who doesn't have an issue with anger? Some more so than others, perhaps, but it's such a tempting crutch. So satisfying when indulged. It feels powerful. But, as you explain it feels...it is not a product of rational thought, of our highest potential.

In reading the comments here, I see reflected a point of view I've expressed myself, in the past.

Anger gives me focus. Anger gives me strength I would not otherwise have. Anger motivates in difficult situations so that I have the courage to move forward. All of this is true, but what it really says is that anger is compensating for a deficit in assertion. Would it not be better to learn how to be more assertive? To rationally assess situations and decide logically the best course?

See how you inform me, lead to self reflection that advances my understanding. Wow you should get paid a lot. All I can give you is a tiny upvote and the assurance that you have a powerful influence.

To highlight some points that were especially meaningful: Heider's insight into intention, and the discussion of stoicism. Of course, Buddha and the Bible--can't go any higher than that, can you?😇

Thank you so much for this wonderful blog. I'm waiting to upvote because I want that vote to have more value. In a few hours, that should work.

With Admiration and Respect,
Love
AG

I just wasted a vote on myself. So confusing sometimes :)

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My dearest @agmoore :)

Same here! Your kind, insightful comment was the very first thing I read today. I always look forward to your feedback. For, you have a knack to bring further clarity to where things are still fuzzy in my head. To wherever I turn there seems to be a strong case for anger. I have been deeply puzzled by it! I sure have to reflect upon this in order to make sense of it all. I am a bit slow like that. I often need to think about this or that for a looong time :P

One of the many ideas I have been exploring is that people are afraid to resort to different means to draw the focus, energy and strength they believe they obtain from anger. But as I observed in my post, this is simply an illusion. It is quite clear that, if anything, anger stops problems being solved in creative ways. For the very reason that it narrows our views of the surrounding circumstances.

I was once told by a young lady: "don't underestimate the power of anger". We were talking about her ideals: she hates capitalism, she hates the education system, she hates many things in fact. In the end of our talk she hated me. To her anger slogan, I just nodded. I didn't want to put more fuel in her already enormous fire. I suspected she's been deafened and blinded by it.

I had that chat with her nearly a year ago. I remember that immediately after our talk I reached for a book I read in 2014 and flicked through my highlights. A book that also touches on the fight against injustice, through seeking change of laws, and demands new behavioural norms. One of my highlights was:

one can not expect to put out the fires of anger and hatred elsewhere if the same fires smolders in one’s home and heart.

The book is a biography of Mahatma Gandhi (by Eknath Easwaran). And it talks about how in his ambition to transform the world, he realized that he first and foremost needed to transform himself <3 :)

But, anyways, I still have much, much thinking to do about this :D

I am SO happy you liked this post my dearest friend. You know how much I treasure your feedback and opinion about my work and life in general. For I have great respect and admiration for you :*

I send you lots and lots of love. Always, always!

I am a bit slow like that

This I strongly doubt :) But if you mean you are reflective--this I can easily accept. Thank you for the compliment--although I think you are being extremely kind.

Your description of Heider's Dispositional or Internal Causes reminds me of something my son always says. He may not be as wise as you, or have your training, but he is perceptive. This is his advice whenever I'm upset by someone's behavior:

"They're not thinking about you; they're thinking about what's going on in their own lives."

It's true.

Want you to know your words were in my head a couple of times in the last 24 hours. And they helped me to modify reactions to situations. Imagine that :))

Thank you. Looking forward to your next blog....I don't know how you manage to come up with such brilliance, so dependably.

With Respect and Affection,

Love from your New York friend,

AG

Want you to know your words were in my head a couple of times in the last 24 hours. And they helped me to modify reactions to situations.

😍Oh! You've just made my evening @agmoore2. How humbling! How encouraging!Also, I like your son's approach :) It's always nice to have someone with that kind of mindset in times of frustration and stress.

Ok, gotta go! It's Friday night 🍷 🥗 :)

Kisses, kisses and more kisses to you :*