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RE: Psychology Addict # 64 | The Romantic Love Delusion.

in #psychologylast year (edited)

Dear Abigail,
You will receive many comments on this, I am sure. A brilliant analysis of something essential to all our lives.

What is more personal than love? More perplexing?

I went off to read a bit about Plato's view of love after my earlier reading of this essay. (Yes, I went away to think before responding--that is always the way with your posts.) I found this, which parallels your interpretation:

The underlying fantasy of love is that by getting close to this person, you can become a little like they are. They can help you to grow to your full potential.

Relating this to my own life (how else are we to use this essay?) I would say there were two thresholds that had to be passed before an enduring relationship could be established (47 years ago). But then, I am cautious 😇

My husband and I worked for the same organization (though not often together), so I had a chance to see the broad outline of his character before I got close enough to understand his personality. From a distance he stood out--more independent, and strong than many others. Also devoid of hypocrisy, almost to the point of being impolite. Then, when I did get to know him, he was so different in so many ways from me. You and Plato hit that one on the head.

Soul mate? I don't know. But neither one of us can imagine being married to anyone else. And you know I have a pretty good imagination 😄

It was a bumpy road for a long time. I think the key to a successful marriage, for both of us, was to understand ourselves better. And then to be committed to the idea of our marriage.

This post can be so very useful for people contemplating a relationship. Your writing is gentle but thought-provoking. A really well-realized essay.

Congratulations,🌟 once again.

With respect reinforced, and affection,
Your New York friend, facing snow!! tonight,

AG

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This makes sense to me, @agmoore: The underlying fantasy of love is that by getting close to this person, you can become a little like they are. They can help you to grow to your full potential.
So many many insights and comments - yours too @owasco - but the dogs want their walk and the clock ticks and I am not quick enough to cover all the great and salient points in the blog and in the beloved comment section (y'all know how I treasure reader feedback!). I love this group!!!

Me too (that is, I love this group)!

Hello my dear friend :)

How wonderful it is to start my day with your comment <3 Love as a means of education is a popular interpretation of The Symposium, which although many see it as a psychoanalytical analyses (including the source you shared here! :D) I see it more as an existential one! Either way, I like this way of approaching romantic relationships because of how to-the-point it is. But above all, I like it because it enables us to face the inevitable conflicts that are inherit to romantic love more wisely. And your words define exactly what I mean by that:

for both of us, was to understand ourselves better. And then to be committed to the idea of our marriage.

So true! :) I remember you told me once how you came to meet your husband in the work environment. 47 years! What a most beautiful accomplishment my friend. Congratulations to you both !! ❤️🍁

Thank you once again for you infinite support & always encouraging words towards my work! Your readership means the world to me, and of course, I thought of you while I wrote this. As your last short-story Larry: A family Album hugely inspired me to write about relationships ;)

With Much love, as always, from cold Portugal!
Snow! Oohhhh I love this time of the year! :*

Dear Abigail,
I'm so happy--and gratified--that one of my stories affected you that way. We influence each other, everyone who writes.
Thank you for your warm words. They help here in chilly New York (though no snow arrived!!).
Have a wonderful weekend...they're reading about you on Twitter and Wordpress today. Your audience grows.
Much love,
AG