RE: Psychology Addict # 64 | The Romantic Love Delusion.
You will receive many comments on this, I am sure. A brilliant analysis of something essential to all our lives.
What is more personal than love? More perplexing?
I went off to read a bit about Plato's view of love after my earlier reading of this essay. (Yes, I went away to think before responding--that is always the way with your posts.) I found this, which parallels your interpretation:
The underlying fantasy of love is that by getting close to this person, you can become a little like they are. They can help you to grow to your full potential.
Relating this to my own life (how else are we to use this essay?) I would say there were two thresholds that had to be passed before an enduring relationship could be established (47 years ago). But then, I am cautious 😇
My husband and I worked for the same organization (though not often together), so I had a chance to see the broad outline of his character before I got close enough to understand his personality. From a distance he stood out--more independent, and strong than many others. Also devoid of hypocrisy, almost to the point of being impolite. Then, when I did get to know him, he was so different in so many ways from me. You and Plato hit that one on the head.
Soul mate? I don't know. But neither one of us can imagine being married to anyone else. And you know I have a pretty good imagination 😄
It was a bumpy road for a long time. I think the key to a successful marriage, for both of us, was to understand ourselves better. And then to be committed to the idea of our marriage.
This post can be so very useful for people contemplating a relationship. Your writing is gentle but thought-provoking. A really well-realized essay.
Congratulations,🌟 once again.
With respect reinforced, and affection,
Your New York friend, facing snow!! tonight,