RE: Psychology Addict # 39 | Need For Approval & External Validation
Thank you. I liked this topic a lot and want to share a longer comment this time.
The fascination with human pathology is a phenomenon, isn't it? It can be discussed particularly well in virtual space. Actually, only the other narcissists or even pronounced narcissists are always predisposed, but not oneself :-))
Particularly good examples can be found in the widespread media, which are concerned with politics and business. I also believe, however, that this is systemically conditioned and that people make other people narcissists once they have focused on this subject. A little I follow Eckhard Tolle, who says that we humans like feeding our painful bodies very much and eagerly. The keywording does its part.
My approach is that there is no such thing as a pure narcissist and a person unites many qualities, which always come to light when they are confirmed, strengthened and also put under suspicion by others (exceptions confirm the rule). The mutually feeding actors in a system do a lot to make someone into this or that character. It is a creation of several or many. For example, if you see the leader of a country as a narcissist. I think that the projection of many reinforce this special quality and also help it to size. If I perceive mostly the evil predominantly in a person, then I am quasi an accomplice of his negative views and actions.
I once read a very interesting fictional story about an apocalyptic existence in which a girl escaped from a dome city and got to know a companion on the way. She felt protected and accompanied by this companion. But finally she found out that her friend was the most feared creature on earth. She just didn't know it and treated the beast nicely. If she had known beforehand what a terrible creature it was, she would probably have run away in fear. It would never have been proven that the beast was also friendly. It is a strong symbolism here that has to do with fear. ... Who senses that other people fear him may acquire the strange conviction that people are to be distrusted.
... I think it is not only someone who tends to have narcissistic features if this increases, because I think that this tendency could be weakened if the environment is free of fear and prejudice.
My suggestion would therefore be to see if and to what extent one finds a narcissistic tendency in oneself.
For myself, I've found that when I'm under a lot of tension or quarrelling with someone close to me, I tend to make them the object of my mental analysis. This is quite common nowadays, as we live in a psychologized society.
My self-esteem decreases with the increasing devaluation of someone else, I see a direct connection there.
I then find that the more I attribute positive qualities to other people and encourage what they bring with them in terms of resources and solution intelligence, that then my own self-esteem also increases, because I was able to contribute to connote something positively and to frame it.
The thing is that you can't fake something like that and you need real kindness towards someone to not take what you dislike so important and to see in which hidden corner you can find self-worth. Most, if not all, people have these corners.
It is the flexibility of the self that allows us to explore new territories, rediscover, and recreate who we are from time to time.
Yes, very much so. I would even say that counts for each and every encounter during the day.