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RE: Psychology Addict # 39 | Need For Approval & External Validation

in #psychology3 years ago

First, I have to say that this article was such an easy read. It helps to understand the subject of discussion without having to wade through a pool of professional terms. I think this need to belong is the mother of peer pressure, which appears to have a stronger hold on the young, who'd do anything to "belong" to the "cool kids," especially at a school. It doesn't stop as a young person, some societies only value materialistic things and tend to value the self-worth of an individual by the number of zeros in their bank account balance and, oftentimes, the number of personal belongings such as cars, houses, etc. People have been driven to a life of crime in their bid to acquire wealth and hence gain "respect" and belong to meet up with such a materialistic society. I was reading the inspiring story of Ben Carson, one of the world's most gifted former pediatric neurosurgeon, The Gifted Hands, I saw his rebellion and the push to make his struggling mother spend the little money she earned from doing menial jobs on a "cool dress" in other to join other cool kids in high school. Even though he was a top performing student, he still felt the need to belong and be accepted by some of the cool, obviously less intelligent people, in his school.

I guess we only break free from such negative effects of belonging to the detriment of our wallet, health, etc by knowing that those people whom we struggle to show off that "we've finally made it or arrived," most of the time do not really care as much as we may think. On the internet almost everyone is rich, the Instagram is filled with "millionaires" who spend time showing selfies in various exotic destinations. Most of which may not really be doing as great as their twitter/Instagram pictures say they do. They get seriously offended if someone is to say something negative about the situation. People like me know that people do not care as much as that. If it's my grandmother, she says if you really want to know if people care about you disappear for some days and see who asked after you. She said the chances are the people who may ask of your whereabouts are probably those you are owing! That was a hilarious statement of hers, but she may be right. I always look forward to your weekend posts. Thank you for sharing.


Hey Green 😃

Yes, our need for belonging is definitely what makes 'peer pressure' such a strong social feature. Your analysis of materialistic societies is a great one. Because most societies and cultures promote materialistic values as the ones that deliver a sense of belonging that is what most people will pursue. But does that meet the needs of their true-selves? From my perspective, I don't think so. Otherwise we wouldn't have anxiety and depression cases constantly on the rise.

It is difficult being a social being nowadays Green. What option are we left with in the end? Being outcasted, or being accepted at the expense of overseeing our inner requirements? The story of Dr. Carson's that you shared with us here just illustrates what humanistic psychology proposes, our innate, ultimate need to belong. And like you said, if we were not so easily seduced we could break free from this need at extreme levels.

Your grandmother said it all!! 😂 And that is why I stated that building self-esteem, and a sense of acceptance on the number of 'thumbs up' is a bit shaky!

Thank you so much for sharing your views about this topic with me Green, you always, always have something interesting to add to our debates. It pleases me a lot to hear you found this post easy-to-read, it encourages me to write more content under this style.

Have a wonderful, blessed Saturday :*
All the best.

I'm enroute from another state. I'm reading this reply with a smile on my face. Yeah, you make psychology seem easy :)

❤ Have a good journey Green :)

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