Giving A Name To That Which Scares Us

in #psychology3 years ago

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.” – Thoreau

I sent the quote above to a dear friend of mine who is currently in the process of taking steps to change up her current path a bit. She’s overwhelmed with excitement but at the same time super stressed about what this could mean if she gets it. Funny hey? We get all worked up and excited and instead of thinking about how amazing it will be when we get it, a little voice pops up that fills us with dread.

I’ve always found this confusing, almost like the one can’t exist without the other. Like her, my own thought patterns always seem to find a way down this path too. I’m not sure if it happens with everyone. I just know that it happens with me. It’s sad really. I can’t even for a split second just be happy and proud of myself. Consciously I’m in the moment and I’m super happy. Subconsciously I’m filling up my dread bucket.

It wasn’t always this way. It’s become sort of a learnt behavior. Due to past disappointments, failures and damn bad luck. Ever wonder why a young child doesn’t do this? They haven’t learnt that things can go wrong yet. Simple. Tell a child that we’re going to the beach for the day. They get super happy about it don’t they? They don’t start stressing about drowning, packing enough sunscreen and making sure they check the weather first. These are circumstances that we anticipate because we know that it could happen. Children just think about all the fun they are going to have.

Man, that must be an amazing feeling. Trust me, if we go to the beach I will be stressing about a hell of a lot more than just those few things. I must keep telling myself that just because something happened a certain way before doesn’t necessarily mean that it will happen like that again. Easier said than done right? In my mind I even take it further to a place where it didn’t even need to happen for me to work myself up about it. I’ve come to understand that side of me. Medically they call it Anxiety. Anxiety affects all aspects of one’s life. We don’t do too well at the whole rationalizing thing. Over filling dread buckets comes with the territory.

It was on one of these dread bucket filling trips that I came up with an idea on how to remind myself that I need to get off the trip to the dread well. So, I decided to name my Anxiety Dorothy. Yip that Dorothy, straight from the Wizard of Oz, hahaha.

So, why did I name my Anxiety you may ask?

I needed something that I could think of quickly to bring me back to a more realistic and relaxed state of mind. Simply, that’s Dorothy. “There’s no place like home,” ring a bell. Essentially, I gave the feeling of panic and emotions taking over a name. It helps me to come back ‘home’ into a more relaxed frame of mind and gets me out of my dread thoughts. It also reminds me to change to a more positive way of thinking.

It’s how I ground myself. I’ve tried many different methods, but this has proved to work the best for me. That and my CBD oil of course 😊 I probably wouldn’t have even got to this level of acceptance without it calming my thoughts down. With a quieter mind I was able to accept that Anxiety will always be a part of me, so why not just name it and accept it! In doing this it’s not so unfriendly and unknown to me anymore.

Thank you for reading and remember to keep smiling 😊
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I’ve an anxious friend that swears by that CBD oil and Dorety is a great name for anxiety. 😀#steemitbloggers.

It really is amazing stuff @blanchy. It has made a huge difference in my life. I like the name too ;)

Oh, what a clever idea; I love it! Thanks for sharing!

I'm glad that you enjoyed it @uniwhisp.

We get all worked up and excited and instead of thinking about how amazing it will be when we get it, a little voice pops up that fills us with dread.

Yes, that's me tooooo
When things are not right, obviously I worry
Then when are right, I start preparing for in case it goes wrong, managing my expectations/happiness so when it happens, the fall isn't so hard... because I was ready for it
It used to consume me, but I have learnt to redirect all that energy but I need to make a conscious effort....
Dorothy eh? :)
Thank you for sharing @jusipassetti

It can be quite frustrating that we do it like @kaerpediem. At least you are now aware of it and by being aware of it you can continue to put in the effort to redirect those behaviors. All the best.

@jusipassetti Great to see that you have identified and embraced your fear. This is the way to go and just maybe you can learn how to make it work to your advantage. I on the other hand have become strangely numb. Maybe as I grow older there are no more fears and no more excitement. Just a dull acceptance of whatever comes my way. Maybe because I have had my fill of experiences, both good and bad. Blessings!

Thank you very much @papilloncharity. That's how I'm trying to approach it, use it to my advantage instead of allowing it to take control.

great post describing what you are going through.
Skip what I write here if you want. However, here it comes.
The voices are your ego. And you can learn to observe instead of becoming involved with those voices.

You know it is the voice that says: "Eat the chocolate"
Then after you do the same voice says: "Why did you eat the chocolate. Now you will get fat."

Observe and don't welcome them in. I think this will help. :) It helped me.

I love this advice @rebeccabe and I will definitely keep this in mind for the future. Thank you for sharing this with me.

No problem. They say to be aware of the voice but do not become involved with it. This is how the ego exists. You are not that voice. Well, that sounds crazy but life is crazy and fun. If you welcome the voice in an pay attention to it. It stays longer lol

I also suffer from anxiety and stress a lot, I actually did even when I was a child. Whenever I started doing something fun I would think about the end of it way beforehand. Maybe I should name mine as well: Cersei.

Sorry to hear that @haritakurdu. You definitely should and I like your name. Any particular reason why you chose that one?

I'm probably gonna name mine too. Maybe Bean is a good name reminds me of living life with laughter and taking life easy and not think too much. I've been taking Magnesium supplement. Starting day 1 I had no episodes of crazy panic attacks. And also with the help of my love ones around me keep reminding me to be calm and just breath it out and to not take things too much and seriously and just think about what solutions to make is really helping me a lot. But I heard about CBD too might give it a try. :-D Keep smiling! You are not alone. I've been there too and knowing there are people who actually having same experience as you really comforts us. Hugs!

So happy to hear that the magnesium has made such a difference for you. I take it daily too :) The CBD oil has really been a life changer for me. I don't know how I ever coped without it. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words, they mean a lot to me :)

Self-sabotage. I think you are right that most of us do it on some level or another. Naming your anxiety is a great idea. Maybe I will name mine too :)

You should @ginnyannette. Made a huge difference for me. Thank you for the support :)

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Interesting strategy. It is often said that giving a name to a thing, or even simply knowing the name of a thing gives one power over that thing. It seems that proved to be true in your case as well. #steemitbloggers

Excellent way to handle this @jusipassetti!

This post scare me. Now I'm looking for the things that I'm anxious about. ;-)


It's a very thoughtful post, and reflective. We need more of that.

Very nice and thoughful post dear! If you allow me, I would recommend you to watch sadhguru videos on youtube or on their website. Tell me how did you feel. Failure is the first step to get success in our life, that wht I believe! I run a photography page by the way, hope you will enjoy it!

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Thank you very much @mango-juice, will check it out sometime.

Ok dear. I run a photography blog on steemit, hope u ll enjoy it.

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thanks for sharing! I've read elsewhere that giving names to your anxiety or depression or that little voice in the back of your head is actually a good way to cope, since you can also tell them "oh that's nonsense, steve" or "thanks anthony but I think it'll be fine". So I think you're on the right track!

We do tend to overthink things in life, being a child running around, not a worry in the world of being hurt, those were the day...

Definitely this only develops later, some me time everyday to think through things I found helped, normally at sun-downer time @jusipassetti. Unfortunately once we have it, it stays, we have to learn to control it some way.

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